Im a 19 year old college student whose in a 3 year relationship. even as i type this my blood is running cold because he is mad at me. here are the things that make me think hes abusive, they are bullets so its not as long as it looks, any anwsers are so appreciated Im so lost and confused:

-hes controlling

-Im always scared of his temper and he always gets mad and yells at me

-its always my fault, and he even gets furious at me for things that are out of my control and this makes me scared because Im always afraid something will happen I cant control that will make him mad

-when he gets mad he hits all my weak points and is really really mean, and makes me cry a lot but doesnt care when i cry and crying just makes him more angry at me

-he hates the way I dress and only seems happy when I let him pick my outfit and even admits he wont be happy unless he picks me clothes

-he often gets so mad at me he stops talking to me, and right now this is the second time hes gotten so mad at me he tells me he doesnt love me

-im always trying to improve and change for him, and he always wants me too, but no matter how much I try its never good enough and now hes calling me a lier and a teribble person and he doesnt love me because I havent really changed or improved

-if i say he isnt alpha/in control he will pin me to the bed by my neck and has choked me, and almost mad me faint on purpose until i said he was in charge or acts really mean and distant until i act sub-servant and sorry and he has said he forgives me when I try to challenge him or do anything my way.

-ive asked him to stop and hes told me that even if i dont admit hes alpha it doesnt matter/he doesnt need to do that because its true no matter what and when I mess up often reminds me angrily that its a good thing hes the leader because cant do almost anything right, and Im stupid and he can think mental circles around me and he sees so much if he even told me what he was thinking i wouldnt be capable of understanding.

-he hates my family and wont come over to my house and fights with my mother and they say that while Im with him Im very distant and they feel he steals me from them, he is always putting them and me down to the point of me crying and makes me apologize for being so emotional for crying and that I need to gain control of my emotions.

-he never apologizes for anything and always says anything he says, no matter how hurtful and if it makes me cry, is the truth and he wont apologize for something he really means even if it makes me cry.

-hes pinned me to the floor with my arms in a position that was meant to hurt because he thought i meant to kick him in the balls but it was an accident, and he pinned my face against the wall when i was teasing a friend we both knew. this was years ago tho.

Im really confused because he is so loving and caring most of the time, but I know this stuff happens at least daily. Im having trouble deiciding about this relationship, please give me a second opinion? Ive been in this relationship for three years and hes amazing in a lot of ways. hes great in bed, we both love the same things, he knows me very well and is a very strong support for me (when he isnt angry) and has helped me through a lot. Also
hes so mad at me right now, because i have his cell phone and he wants me to get on a 4 hour bus ride to get it to him and take another bus home which would put me in the middle of nyc at midnight or later alone. He wont let me stay at his apartment even overnight while hes at work and basically is leaving me alone in boston and nyc alone and homeless with no where to go and late at night. He wants me to drive but i told him i dont have the money for gas and offered to mail his phone. he wont give me his address and has changed all his account passwords i know so theres no way for me to get his phone to him and hes just going to be SO mad at me because i didnt take the bus? is it right, no matter how angry you are, to put someone in danger like that? I took a plane home to my parents in GA and just told him now and blocked me on aim again, my stomache is churning and Im in tears Im so scared, im not even scared of him breaking up with me Im just scared of him. both my parents say I should break up with him and all my trusted friends say hes dangerously abusive and I deserve better but I dont what to do, and even if i want to get out. I love him, I really really do, but everyone thinks i should leave him. I made him promise and he did promise to never actually hurt me but I dont know if when hes as angry as he gets if he is going to keep his promise, help? i need advice desperately now, Im in so much pain and so scared.