Hello, I am new to the board. My name is Kevin, I am a 28 year old male from Frederick Maryland. I know this might be a lot to read, but I am looking for people who can help me, or people who can at least help me relate to what is happening with my body. I appreciate everybody who takes the time to read my long story.
About a month and half ago I had my first and to this day only seizure. A little background on myself, I have always been a rather healthy person. I try to eat right, I exercise regularly and I have always had a good mental state of health. About 8 years ago, I had a little bit of a drug problem. Not so much a problem, but that I had experimented A LOT with drugs. I was an avid Ecstasy user; I had used LSD numerous times, and was developing quite a cocaine habit. All of these things stopped in 2001 when I left behind all the people that were causing me to head down a horrible path and I pulled myself out from the drugs and sort of reinvented myself. Until about July of 2007 I was a heavy binge drinker. I would only drink on the weekends and usually only on Saturday nights; however I would consume mass quantities of alcohol and would often black out from drinking so much. After meeting my current girlfriend Christy, I decided that the life of a “drunken frat boy” was not entirely how I wanted to live so I decided to cut my drinking back tremendously and only drink socially once or twice a month. My only vice now is Caffeine. I was drinking 2-3 large cups (20 ounces) per day, and I was occasionally taking green tea extract fat burning pills.
On February 13th 2008 I was at work and I was going about my normal routine. I usually leave to go home for lunch since my house is only a mile away from my office. I stopped by the bank before lunch to make a deposit and then went straight to my house. Upon getting home, I had lunch and I went upstairs into my room to check my personal email. As I was typing an email, suddenly my hands started cramping up and I started to hyperventilate. I completely panicked because I wasn’t sure what was going on. I tried to get out of my desk chair but I collapsed on the floor and passed out. Right before losing consciousness my last thought was that I was dying. I woke up about 45 minutes later. I had no recollection of how I got there, or how long I had been out. I looked up at the clock and thought "OH CRAP, I NEED TO GET BACK TO WORK". I jumped in my car and started driving back to work. I remember nothing of the morning. As I sat at a stop light in front of my building I looked over to see my deposit slip from the bank and I had no recollection of going to the bank. Once arriving back at work, my co-workers noticed that I was literally stumbling around in a state of confusion. One of my colleagues asked me if I was ok and I started sobbing hysterically and informed her that I think I had either had a stroke or a brain seizure. She immediately took me to the hospital and I was admitted to the emergency room.
In the emergency room I really don’t remember much of anything until about 3 hours after it all had happened. They did a CT scan, and they took blood samples. I was released to my girlfriend after spending a very confusing 5 hours in the ER.
After the seizure I immediately went to see a neurologist, and they wanted me to get a MRI and an EEG test completed. My MRI test came back with nothing remarkable and everything seemed normal. Fast forward 2 weeks later and I go back to the Hospital to have my EEG test done.
Now keep in mind, before having my EEG test, I had felt great. I had no issues, no relapse of a seizure and honestly, I hadn’t felt more refreshed in years. I was sleeping well, my workouts at the gym were going great, and everything in my personal life was going very well. During the EEG test they did the strobe light test. At first, things were fine and the light didn’t bother me at all. Once the pace started to pick up, I started to feel a little uneasy. I was seeing things behind my closed eyelids and I was feeling very odd. The technician cranked up the juice till the blinks were about 30 blinks per second.
Immediately I started to feel like I was losing control. I started getting this panicked feeling rushing through my body, followed by a feeling that I can’t describe. All I could think was “I am about to have a seizure!” I asked the technician to stop and he did. He did a few more tests and told me that what I was feeling was completely normal.
Now here is the strange part. After having my EEG test I immediately started having problems that I could not explain. Mood swings, loss of motivation and in incredible intense fear of having another seizure. On top of that, I was having this tingling sensation in my right hand, and for a short period of time, I felt like I was losing motor functions in my hand.
The panic feeling was the worst of it thought. I could be doing anything from watching TV, to sleeping, to taking a shower and this intense sensation of panic would overcome me and I would get the feeling that I was getting when the strobe was on full blast.
I went back for my one month follow up with my neurologist and I told him how I was feeling and he said “oh that is normal, having a seizure is a very traumatic experience and you may have SOME anxiety.” Well, replace the word SOME with LOTS. He prescribed me a small dosage of Xanax.
This past weekend, I drove further than a few miles for the first time in over a month and a half. I was driving on the high way and suddenly, all I could think about was having a seizure. It was consuming me. The next thing I know I started getting the tingling feeling and I was panicking just like I was when I got my first seizure. I immediately pulled over to the side of the road and sat for almost an hour before I calmed down and before I felt I could bring myself to pull back onto the road. I finally made it to my destination and went out to eat with friends, we were in a dimly lit restaurant and the entire night I was a complete mess. I was panicking every couple of minutes, and I must have gone to the restroom over 10 times because I had drank so much water trying to calm myself down.
Everything in my life has changed in a short period of time all because of this stupid seizure. I am losing my temper much quicker, I am having a hard time focusing at work, having a hard time paying attention, my sex life has become non existent because the over stimulation makes me panic, and the fear of having another seizure is just consuming everything in my life. I am not looking for answers, I am more or less just looking to know that how I am feeling is normal. And that that everything will be ok. If anybody could give me any input or any sort of advice, it would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you for reading, I know it’s a lot to take in.
Cheers,
Kevin