Here's the short story. She had been visiting me for 3 months before she had to start back to school. We are deeply in love and both agree that we have never met anybody who completes us like we do. I am in my mid 20's and so is she. She would do anything for me and I would do anything for her. The day before she was to leave we were planning a meal to cook. I was calling several places trying to find the meat and get the meal planned. She was making the list of food. Her writing is not the best and sometimes I am anal about that sort of thing. Usually only when I write on the list as well. So I just casually said, hey you have the paper upside down. She tore it off and began writing a new one upside down again. Probably on accident. Anyways, I was on the computer looking for a recipe for dessert (something special for her) and she asked me with an attitude what I was doing. Of course I was a bit upset. (oh, I proposed to her with a very nice, elaborate dinner the night before) I told her don't get mad at me for using the computer that I was looking for something for her. Trying to keep the surprise. She got mad. and put the list she was writing down and told me i could finish it. I picked it up, balled the paper up and put it with the first one and began a new list. She got mad, snatched the piece of paper out of my hand, balled it up and threw it on the floor. She said that was so I could see how she felt. I got really pissed, after having proposed, and now trying to make her a nice dinner before she left and I cursed her out. Called her a bi*** etc. She called me a bas****, said she hates me, wants to break the engagement off, was not happy with me etc. I got furious when she said that and begin to yell at her. She was yelling back very very loud and crying. I got mad and threw a water bottle at the door. I followed her into the room to continue the arguing but she kept screaming louder and yelling louder. I told her to quit yelling so loud but she wouldnt. I pushed her with my fingers in the face onto the bed. she was screaming even more. I then held her and asked her nicely to please stop screaming. She contd and i don't really want the cops being called and me losing my job for something stupid. I put the pillow on her face for about 5 seconds. (No I did not do it hard and did not hurt her. I only did it to muffle her uncontrollable screaming)....she now has labled me as officially abusive and wants to leave me. Am I abusive or do I have an anger problem? The primary reason I even touched her was because she would not stop screaming and yelling at a very high noise level in my apartment. I did not hurt her physically, only emotionally, which I know is bad as well. Somebody give me some analysis of this and tell me what I should do. She wants me to go to consueling, which I agreed to only because I love her more than anything in the world. Personally i think I may have at the most an anger/ slight control issue but in the situation with the possiblity of the police being called for her hysterical screaming I did not know what to do. Please help. Thank you in advance for the responses.