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Is sex really fun? My wife says she's not enjoying sex .

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Hi! I am married for a month now. My wife says she's not enjoying sex with me. I feel ashamed. Is there something wrong in me?
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replied May 1st, 2012
Community Volunteer
No.

Does she have pain? Then she needs to see her doctor.

She knows what is fun for her. Ask her to show and tell you how? As her to help you understand and pleasure her.

Mostl women also find oral sex very enjoyable.

Best of luck!
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replied May 3rd, 2012
Community Volunteer
Many of us women do not enjoy sex early in marriage...It is a new lesson in life...Before that time we have known the thrill of kind of forbidden feelings, but now it is kind of a new thing...That being called a "duty"....I know, I had this problem too...Please believe that there is nothing wrong with you, it is more of an emotional thing with her...The only problem would possibly be entry....Were you sexual before marriage...If you weren't then this too is a new shock....Tell her to relax and enjoy this new gift of love that the two of you will know...Believe me, it has only just begun....I send you my love and best wishes...

If she is having problems have her PM me through the site...I have helped many women...Take care...

Caroline
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replied May 6th, 2012
Hi. Don't feel ashamed. There must be a reason why your wife is not enjoying making love to you for some reason- she may be tired, or just not feeling well. I have read an article about how to make women get different types of orgasms and this will help you get her in the mood. Read it and then try it on her.

Check it out. Hope this will help.
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replied May 13th, 2012
Experienced User
Many things change when a couple is newly married.

A frank and intimate talk with your new wife (Congrats btw) would be a possible starting place. Is she worried about pregnancy/birth control issues? Does she feel like it's a duty and she "has to" even if she's tired or not feeling well? Is she embarrassed about trying new positions or things you are doing during sex? Is she worried that you might ask for something she's uncomfortable with? Do you communicate verbally while making love? Certain people are embarrassed by certain words even during lovemaking.

Different people were raised with different attitudes about sex. Whether spoken or not, these attitudes often have an effect on other members of the household.(i.e. children, especially during puberty). These attitudes can last well into adulthood.

For example: Was she taught that sex was primarily a way to land a good husband, but then was just for procreation?

A look at yourself is in order too. Ask the same questions of yourself that you do her.

Between the 2 of you, the answers to questions like these may give you a few clues as to the direction to go in making things better.

Also you can assess your technique when you are together. Are there additional things or different things you could do to heighten the experience for her?

Experimenting with different positions may help (if she is ok with that. Some women just can't get thrilled about certain positions while others make them go crazy with excitement.

Give it time and as you become more comfortable in being married, things should get better. Take your time learning each other's favorite things and most sensitive spots (not always the genitals) then use what you have learned to give her pleasure.

From my personal experience, my 1st wife found it a TOTAL mood killer to hear the words c__k or p___y and would stop the lovemaking session. My current wife said that I can say anything I want in the bedroom but she prefers that I do not use certain words in the living room.

You have the rest of your lives to get this figured out even though sooner would be better than later for obvious reasons. Don't push it too hard, but don't bury it away either-it takes two to tango.

anyway there are other options if this doesn't work, don't despair and DON'T FEEL EMBARRASSED! This happens to more people than you realize.
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replied May 15th, 2012
hmm, maybe she hasn't reached her climax or the orgasm, the strong ones which make her shout or anything, scratch you, anything..
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