I am 27. It s been only one year we're together. And we got married within this year. Till now, I have been thinking that I know him and his family enough to embark on such an adventure.
Well, my husband has a sister who is 11 months older than him. From the very beginning, I heard from my husband that they ve always been so close to eachother and shared everything in life (especially pain and difficulties when their parents got divorced when they where just teenagers)..
Her sister is still alone (even though she is 32), and as far as I know she did not have any serious relationship (she can even be a virgine!!!...but of course I cant ask such an intimate question to find out the fact)
We are not really close with my sister-in-law, even though she tells me from time to time that she really likes me!
Well, after the introduction I come to the point. A few days ago, while we were talking about his sister and the fact that she is getting depressed because she is living alone, my husband told me that HER SISTER WANTS SOMEONE EXACTLY LIKE HIM, THAT S WHY SHE DOESNT WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE ELSE!!!!!!... I was terrified when I heard that. I just want to ask you, is that normal??? what would be the reasonable reaction in this kind of situation? At this point, should I think maybe before they had smth more than just being close brother-sister???
Please help. What should I think after this strange confession of my sister-in-law?
Don't think about it...It is the past...I like to think that the past is the past...Chances are that she probably just plain adores her brother...Many sisters feel like this...My daughter named her son after our son as she admired him so much....This is probably true of the woman you speak about....
My advice would be, don't make something out of a nothing...And if there was ever a something, it was part of yesterday....You live in today...
my ex and his sister (who live in California) felt that way about each other. we lived in philly, and i felt as though they would say things only a couple who say.
i didnt feel comfortable with the things she said, for example "if i come down there i dont want you to be in a relationship since im single" so she could take up all his time.
anyway, i think your sister-in-law needs a life. i can see her admiring her brother and that is a good think, but for her to not date because of it is crazy.
she's going to be a lonely old women trying to find someone that is just like her brother.
if she gets lonely enough i m sure she'll find someone.
Pay her no mind that is your man.
It sounds to me like they were just really close when they were growing up and she just wants a guy as special as he was to her. I wouldn't take what she said seriously..It sounds to me like she was just making an excuse for being single so long and using her brother as a scapegoat. My sister-in-law is always complimenting my husband. I know it's because she just loves him and thinks he's a great guy.
i'm 33 and me and my brother were extremely close...we talked about everything and talked on the phone all the time (like 3 times or more a day). we always said i love you when we got off the phone and if we forgot we would call back and say "i love you" and hang up. he was my best friend. i lost him last year and miss him dearly...i felt pain and panick all day before i knew he passed away. i knew something was wrong and that was cause we were so close. i miss my best friend! there is nothing wrong with a brother and sister being very close to each other.
I'm so sorry you lost your brother. I think it's wonderful that you had such a warm and loving relationship. It's nice to hear about siblings having such a connection with each other rather than fighting. He will always have a special place in your heart that nobody can take away from you.
I have had the same feeling about my husband and his sister sometimes. She wrote my husband some very intimate letters, telling him she loves him more than herself. Which I thought was something lovers would say to each other. Also when we first got together she was sending him all kinds of gifts, at first I thought it was nice. Then I just thought it was strange that she just kept sending them. Sometimes my husband would wake up at night and call me her name, and I was pissed. I kept it to myself until I started having dreams about them being together, then I kept asking him if it really happened.
If the sister-in-law was my sister or my brother's wife, then it would have been a big problem, but if its his sister, I would not care too much because remember they are raised in a different family, they used words and expressions that in other families were very special and only for huge life events.
Since they have been without a father for so long, the sister is always looking up to someone that she can associate her future husband with and in this case she has found her brother very much as she wishes.
To make a long story short, if it gets annoying and sis-inlaw is overpassing the border, then i suggest you talk to your husband in a very sweet way and progress your way up to make him understand that sisters should not go that far. Make it look like its embarassing and very uncofortable for you.Maybe you can go as a couple and the sis-inlaw to a dancing/party something where your brother can sugest man for her and try to hook her up.
Never go upfront to your sister in law with your feelings, because she will either think that you a phsyco or nonsense jelous and for the rest of your life, she will not forgive you in her heart as well as you will feel the same way in your heart.
Talk, insipre your husband and let him do the job without anybody knowing something! best wishes to you and to a loving long relationship with your dear man! He must have many good reasons to stay with you and so he loves you!
I can more than relate. I'm pretty sure you will all be floored after reading this. To make a long story short, my sister in law wss INSANELY jealous of me and my husand's relationship. She would tell him to cancel our dates and take her out instead. If I called and asked to speak to him, she would cuss me out and hang up. She sent me hate mail calling me cuss words. I cried almost every day for 3 years. I would literally tremble when I was in the same room wtih her. She bullied me, and I was terrified. She wanted to make sure we broke up. I loved my husband so much I refused to give him up. She told me directly to stay the ***** away from her brother. Wanna know the shocker? Their father is a pastor, and while she was verbally abusing me she was active in the ministry. Church members had no idea that the pastor's daughter who they thought so foundly of was hurting me every day. They were only just getting to know me, so they wouldn't have believed me, and I said nothing, even though I could have easily printed the e-mails and recorded the phone calls, which would have ruined her "Christian" reputation. I won't say I wasn't tempted, but I knew I was above that. I begged my husband to tell her to stop, and he would lightly ask her to, but it did no good. She needed someone to be FIRM and tell her THIS IS NOT HOW WE ACT.One day we were on a date and she called and asked him to pick her up. As she got into the car, she said "what are YOU doing here" very sarcastic. My husband should have pulled the car over and made her either apologize or get out, but he didn't. That was it. I told him...either her or me. He finally did cut her out of his life for a year and not speak to her. He told her she would not hurt the one person he loved and expect him to believe she loved him, that it was hurting him everytime she hurt me because he loved me so much. At one point we broke up, and she wrote "free at last" all over his Myspace. We had broken up because of her, and then she had the never to make me cry by writing this and making me look at it everytime I logged on. We were dating/engaged when all of that happened, but now we're married and she acts decent. To this day, she has NEVER apologized to me, or even hinted that she was wrong at all. She has too much pride. She is a cruel and vicious person. I avoid her at all cost, and know that she wants his attention/admiration, and I'm taking that, and therfore I need to be pushed out of the way. While the cussing/verbal abuse has stopped, she still pulls him aside at family functions and whispers in the corner, making it clear that she does not want me included, and wants to make a statement that he belongs to HER. While I don't think it was ever incestuous, I think it was about attention, and just that he'd always had time for her, to take HER to dinner/movies, to take HER to the tanning bed, to drive HER around town, etc. I got in the way of that. It was awful, and like I said, she has never apologized. While I pray to forgive her, everytime I see her, I can't help but think about all of the pain she has caused me. Oh, and by the way, she always claimed she was doing this to "protect" her brother. I was always sweet, and never fought back. It seems to me my husband and I needed to protected from her instead. Last but not least, I begged their parents to do something...and they did next to nothing, even when I told them everything. I couldn't believe they allowed their child to hurt me like that, when I was going to be thier future daughter in law.