I dont think you should worry to much i have been married for 10 years and quite often my x boyfriend pops up in my head i may think about things we did together good and bad and its always very clear in my mind' but you know what i would not want to be in his life at all' im happy with my own but its just thoughts of pasts that you once had, gone by' as long as you trust and love each other its all good. its not unhealthy to remember things you once did. be happy lovey the world is a cruel place
Fairysue xx

I'm in kind of the same situation with my boyfriend. He openly tells me that he finds this other girl (who is 4 years older than him) attractive and that he thinks about her regularly, but that it's a different kind of feeling he has for her and for me. For her it's more of an "attraction" whereas for me it's actually a serious feeling (I kinda think this part sounds pretty mushy and cliche, but it's the truth!)
I think that having an open relationship is good..I would much rather prefer him telling me about her than me not knowing at all. It also works 2 ways: if I find someone else attractive I feel I can be open about it to him, and my feelings for him do not change whatsoever!
Yeah..Hope this kinda helps!
Jasmine

i think about my ex a lot , its normal

I think both of you should sit down and have a talk. Ask her does she want to be with him or you.If she's not sure or has to think then it time for you to move on and find someone who wants to be with you. Because soon or later she's going to leave you for him,BUT if she says I only want to be with you and only you then I think it pretty normal to think about your ex.

It is normal, its just most dont share those details with their current relationship.

she says she never wants to be with him, she gets a sick feeling when she thinks about him.. and i believe her i can tell shes telling the truth.

I haven't been in a serious relationship before her i never really let me self fall into love so thats why i'm not sure if thats not normal or not.

thanks for your help gals and guys

When your a girl you never forget your first love. She will also have a place for him. I would not worry about it. It does not mean that she loves you any less but there is nothing like your first love. Dont worry about it and just move on with your relationship. You two love each other now and thats all that matters.

It is probably just a habit, and she wouldn't have told you had she thought she had anything to hide. After I split up with my ex, it took me a few months to stop reaching for the phone every night when I came home from work, because I had done that daily for two years!

I reckon she must trust you if she is being so frank with you. I would forget about it and I am sure in another month or two she will have forgotten him too.

its normal!!!!!!! dont tell me you dont think of your ex too sometime when you are with your present???????????? i do think my ex too sometimes even you dont want its just pop up on your mind.

yeah it's normal to think about exes often. the longer she's been apart from him though, the less she will think about him. i still think about my ex daily, but not in the sense that i miss him, or want to be back with him. it's just thoughts. when a person shares a large portion of your life, it's impossible not to think of them after you've broken up. it doesn't mean she wants him back. it just means she has a memory!

i think it's odd that she chose to tell you this though. i don't think it was a very tactful thing for her to say to you. though some would say she is just being honest and open with you. which can only be a good thing. if you are concerned about why she told you this then just ask her. she seems an honest gal!

I wouldn't worry. Its normal. Its been 5 months since my x broke up with me. (I kno thats not very long) & I am in another relationship, but I still think about my x everyday. He was my 1st true love too! Like I said, i wouldn't worry about it! When you share a lot with someone, its kinda hard to just forget about them......

Well, she was honest to you about what she thinks about everyday, you can give her some credit. She thought that you wouldn't took it this way. If that would happened to me i would get mad and at the same time confuse. Yup, i'm a jelous guy . what i think you should do is talk to her about this situation, i mean, i don't trust on ex friendship things, they were going out before which will make me think that their likeness can come back and ofcourse it was her first love so is more difficult. Is really wrong that she is still thinking about him but you got to understand is really not easy to forget about your first love, imean, did you forget about your first love so fast (2 months)? Now, is your job to try to get him out of her mind by loving her and showing her that she doesn't have to waste her time thinking about some past. Keep her in company everytime, 24/7 if you can . But don't worry about it, it's just something that happens to everybody, but give her credit because she told you, and she trust you.

Don't worry Kyle
Take good care of her and yourself.

I have broken up with and been broken up by many girls in my life, and this does not sound good. If you actually both love each other, this should be much more of an occasional re-occurance. How often have you thought about your exxes after you have "fallen in love again". This may be more one-sided than you think. I definitely disagree that this is love. If it is, why think about this other many every single day....come on. Clear it up or get out. This will not be worth your time.

yup it happens. as long as she doesn't act upon it.. like seeks him out etc its her 1st love.. it will come up.. mine does and its been 5yrs.. tho i wish him dead =P

ive been with my current bf for 4yrs ...

sometimes you have to think about what she had with him that she dosent have with you,those things can keep a girl thinking about her ex and may be even visit/hang out,but hanging out is bad and you shouldl let her know you feel extremly uncomfortable withit!!! put your foot down becuase you come first! not him! so it shouldnt mattter if she dosent see him agian unless other wise like shes still wants him in ways or all ways!!!

Alot of us including something I did as a teenager, was bring my previous relationships up, the reason I think about the previous ones is because something happened that didnt make them work, therefore I am trying to avoid the same thing with the next person. What usually happens is I remember the positive and the negative and write down on paper, alot of the time it was personality differences and me being stubborn or even culture clashes, I think it helps me grow but I wont bring it up anymore.

I think it was nice that she was honest with but I seriously think that sometimes it shouldnt be brought up cause then you have the bf/gf wondering if they can measure up or even sometimes like you think you dont care enough although subconsciously we're just thinking.

im in a 1yr relationship, and i think about my ex also pretty much everyday.......so its normal, u have nothing to worry about.....its just thoughts

Hold on...most of the replies is basically "it's nothing..." and it probably is, but there's a very thin line between thinking about an ex and having feelings that the person doesn't even know herself/himself...

Most of the situations it's "yeah, it was only my first love...blablabla.End" and some it's "I hate my first love, he's so stupid for doing those things to me"...this second way of thought for the first love or even an ex- is actually because they're still in love with them...some signs of love come as jealousy, anger, etc...

I'm not trying to scare you, but believe me, I've just lost MY first love because after 7 months she dumped me and tried to return with HER first love, and she said whilst we were together from time to time that he was a jerk...

Anyway, if she talks about her first love most of the time or at least three times a week to you or a close friend, than I would suggest to leave her because she still feels something for him not because it's her first love, because if it was just her first love, she should learn to keep those memories to herself...because to be honest, a first love break-up...should take a hell of a lot of time to heal, I mean 4-5 months at least.

There is a sign to see if all what I said was false and it's simple : see if she still talks to him or still has him on her contacts via e-mail, msn, etc... anysort of communication together, because the first thing to do when you break-up with a first love is to Cut all communications...that's it. If she hasn't done it yet, then she is afraid to leave what she had with him in the past...in otherwords, she can't see it or feel it, but there is a piece of her who doesn't want to let him go...

I hope that I haven't been harsh, and believe me everyone when I say that if I didn't fall for my ex (my first love) then I would probably be saying a whole different story, because like I said mine didn't cut off communication with him, and in the end, she dumped me and several weeks later she found out that she still loved her first love...pfff...

It all depends if we have a strong self-esteem to say "It's over. Full stop."
if we don't have a strong self-esteem and confidence in ourselves and in the choices we make, then most of the time, we'll find our way back to their doorsteps' not knowing why...

Good luck,
Pizzadude