My girlfriend went out with her ex
boyfriend witch was her first love and
they want out for a year. About 2months
later me and her started dating and he
have been going out for 7 months. she
opened up to me the other day and she told
me she thinks about him at least once
everyday. (but she says she never would
want to go out with him again)
Is this normal? we both love each other
very much, but I'm getting mix feelings..
If anyone needs any more information just
say it. ill open up.
|
Fairly LaLaLa
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Mar 2008 Posts: 24
Happy with each moment Posted: 03-09-08 02:34am
I dont think you should worry to much i
have been married for 10 years and quite
often my x boyfriend pops up in my head i
may think about things we did together
good and bad and its always very clear in
my mind' but you know what i would not
want to be in his life at all' im happy
with my own but its just thoughts of pasts
that you once had, gone by' as long as you
trust and love each other its all good.
its not unhealthy to remember things you
once did. be happy lovey the world is a
cruel place
Fairysue xx
|
Jasmine86
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Jan 2008 Posts: 39 Location: , Canada
Posted: 03-09-08 03:13am
I'm in kind of the same situation with my
boyfriend. He openly tells me that he
finds this other girl (who is 4 years
older than him) attractive and that he
thinks about her regularly, but that it's
a different kind of feeling he has for her
and for me. For her it's more of an
"attraction" whereas for me it's actually
a serious feeling (I kinda think this part
sounds pretty mushy and cliche, but it's
the truth!)
I think that having an open relationship
is good..I would much rather prefer him
telling me about her than me not knowing
at all. It also works 2 ways: if I find
someone else attractive I feel I can be
open about it to him, and my feelings for
him do not change whatsoever!
Yeah..Hope this kinda helps!
Jasmine
|
benc152
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Aug 2007 Posts: 225 Location: , Australia
Posted: 03-09-08 03:24am
i think about my ex a lot , its normal
|
Pocahontas101
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Mar 2008 Posts: 15
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
keep it movein Posted: 03-10-08 13:41pm
I think both of you should sit down and
have a talk. Ask her does she want to be
with him or you.If she's not sure or has
to think then it time for you to move on
and find someone who wants to be with you.
Because soon or later she's going to leave
you for him,BUT if she says I only want to
be with you and only you then I think it
pretty normal to think about your ex.
|
Users who thank Pocahontas101 for this post:
pizzadude
jessamyn
Supporter
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 4107 Location: San Diego, CA
Thanks: 11
Thanked:3
Posted: 03-10-08 14:01pm
It is normal, its just most dont share
those details with their current
relationship.
|
kyles123
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Nov 2007 Posts: 9
Posted: 03-10-08 23:30pm
she says she never wants to be with him,
she gets a sick feeling when she thinks
about him.. and i believe her i can tell
shes telling the truth.
I haven't been in a serious relationship
before her i never really let me self fall
into love so thats why i'm not sure if
thats not normal or not.
thanks for your help gals and guys
|
xbostonx
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Mar 2008 Posts: 96 Location: Boston, MA
Your first love Posted: 03-20-08 17:09pm
When your a girl you never forget your
first love. She will also have a place for
him. I would not worry about it. It does
not mean that she loves you any less but
there is nothing like your first love.
Dont worry about it and just move on with
your relationship. You two love each other
now and thats all that matters.
|
Galaxy
Supporter
Joined: 15 Mar 2006 Posts: 514 Location: U.K,
Thanks: 5
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-20-08 17:21pm
It is probably just a habit, and she
wouldn't have told you had she thought she
had anything to hide. After I split up
with my ex, it took me a few months to
stop reaching for the phone every night
when I came home from work, because I had
done that daily for two years!
I reckon she must trust you if she is
being so frank with you. I would forget
about it and I am sure in another month or
two she will have forgotten him too.
|
genrai
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Mar 2008 Posts: 5
Posted: 03-21-08 15:25pm
its normal!!!!!!! dont tell me you dont
think of your ex too sometime when you are
with your present???????????? i do think
my ex too sometimes even you dont want its
just pop up on your mind.
|
fiona05
Supporter
Joined: 21 Dec 2005 Posts: 663 Location: , Norn Iron
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-25-08 19:17pm
yeah it's normal to think about exes
often. the longer she's been apart from
him though, the less she will think about
him. i still think about my ex daily, but
not in the sense that i miss him, or want
to be back with him. it's just thoughts.
when a person shares a large portion of
your life, it's impossible not to think of
them after you've broken up. it doesn't
mean she wants him back. it just means she
has a memory!
i think it's odd that she chose to tell
you this though. i don't think it was a
very tactful thing for her to say to you.
though some would say she is just being
honest and open with you. which can only
be a good thing. if you are concerned
about why she told you this then just ask
her. she seems an honest gal!
|
Aunt WeeWee
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 165 Location: Amherst, VA, 24521
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Re: Is my girlfriend normal? Posted: 04-11-08 13:29pm
kyles123
wrote:
My girlfriend went out with
her ex boyfriend witch was her first love
and they want out for a year. About
2months later me and her started dating
and he have been going out for 7 months.
she opened up to me the other day and she
told me she thinks about him at least once
everyday. (but she says she never would
want to go out with him again)
Is this normal? we both love each other
very much, but I'm getting mix feelings..
If anyone needs any more information just
say it. ill open
up.
I wouldn't worry. Its normal. Its been 5
months since my x broke up with me. (I kno
thats not very long) & I am in another
relationship, but I still think about my x
everyday. He was my 1st true love too!
Like I said, i wouldn't worry about it!
When you share a lot with someone, its
kinda hard to just forget about them......
|
fantasticj2
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Feb 2008 Posts: 23 Location: Miami, U.S.A
Is a not that normal to be honest. Posted: 04-17-08 15:00pm
Well, she was honest to you about what she
thinks about everyday, you can give her
some credit. She thought that you wouldn't
took it this way. If that would happened
to me i would get mad and at the same time
confuse. Yup, i'm a jelous guy . what i think you
should do is talk to her about this
situation, i mean, i don't trust on ex
friendship things, they were going out
before which will make me think that their
likeness can come back and ofcourse it was
her first love so is more difficult. Is
really wrong that she is still thinking
about him but you got to understand is
really not easy to forget about your first
love, imean, did you forget about your
first love so fast (2 months)? Now, is
your job to try to get him out of her mind
by loving her and showing her that she
doesn't have to waste her time thinking
about some past. Keep her in company
everytime, 24/7 if you can . But don't worry
about it, it's just something that happens
to everybody, but give her credit because
she told you, and she trust you.
Don't worry Kyle
Take good care of her and yourself.
|
Montey1375
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Apr 2008 Posts: 2
Not Good Posted: 04-17-08 20:44pm
I have broken up with and been broken up
by many girls in my life, and this does
not sound good. If you actually both love
each other, this should be much more of an
occasional re-occurance. How often have
you thought about your exxes after you
have "fallen in love again". This may be
more one-sided than you think. I
definitely disagree that this is love. If
it is, why think about this other many
every single day....come on. Clear it up
or get out. This will not be worth your
time.
|
Sinniebunnie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 May 2008 Posts: 16 Location: ,
Thanks: 0
Thanked:1
Posted: 05-07-08 07:54am
yup it happens. as long as she doesn't act
upon it.. like seeks him out etc its her
1st love.. it will come up.. mine does and
its been 5yrs.. tho i wish him dead =P
ive been with my current bf for 4yrs ...
|
evalii
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Mar 2008 Posts: 25 Location: na, na
sometimes Posted: 06-10-08 03:15am
sometimes you have to think about what she
had with him that she dosent have with
you,those things can keep a girl thinking
about her ex and may be even visit/hang
out,but hanging out is bad and you shouldl
let her know you feel extremly
uncomfortable withit!!! put your foot down
becuase you come first! not him! so it
shouldnt mattter if she dosent see him
agian unless other wise like shes still
wants him in ways or all ways!!!
|
diamondsz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2005 Posts: 3250 Location: , Candyland-Canada
Thanks: 87
Thanked:125
Posted: 06-11-08 16:18pm
Alot of us including something I did as a
teenager, was bring my previous
relationships up, the reason I think about
the previous ones is because something
happened that didnt make them work,
therefore I am trying to avoid the same
thing with the next person. What usually
happens is I remember the positive and the
negative and write down on paper, alot of
the time it was personality differences
and me being stubborn or even culture
clashes, I think it helps me grow but I
wont bring it up anymore.
I think it was nice that she was honest
with but I seriously think that sometimes
it shouldnt be brought up cause then you
have the bf/gf wondering if they can
measure up or even sometimes like you
think you dont care enough although
subconsciously we're just thinking.
|
2heda
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Aug 2008 Posts: 9 Location: NJ, USA
Thanks: 0
Thanked:3
same here...... Posted: 08-29-08 17:21pm
im in a 1yr relationship, and i think
about my ex also pretty much
everyday.......so its normal, u have
nothing to worry about.....its just
thoughts
|
pizzadude
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Aug 2008 Posts: 18
Thanks: 0
Thanked:2
Wait a sec... Posted: 08-30-08 15:52pm
Hold on...most of the replies is basically
"it's nothing..." and it probably is, but
there's a very thin line between thinking
about an ex and having feelings that the
person doesn't even know
herself/himself...
Most of the situations it's "yeah, it was
only my first love...blablabla.End" and
some it's "I hate my first love, he's so
stupid for doing those things to
me"...this second way of thought for the
first love or even an ex- is actually
because they're still in love with
them...some signs of love come as
jealousy, anger, etc...
I'm not trying to scare you, but believe
me, I've just lost MY first love because
after 7 months she dumped me and tried to
return with HER first love, and she said
whilst we were together from time to time
that he was a jerk...
Anyway, if she talks about her first love
most of the time or at least three times a
week to you or a close friend, than I
would suggest to leave her because she
still feels something for him not because
it's her first love, because if it was
just her first love, she should learn to
keep those memories to herself...because
to be honest, a first love
break-up...should take a hell of a lot of
time to heal, I mean 4-5 months at least.
There is a sign to see if all what I said
was false and it's simple : see if she
still talks to him or still has him on her
contacts via e-mail, msn, etc... anysort
of communication together, because the
first thing to do when you break-up with a
first love is to Cut all
communications...that's it. If she hasn't
done it yet, then she is afraid to leave
what she had with him in the past...in
otherwords, she can't see it or feel it,
but there is a piece of her who doesn't
want to let him go...
I hope that I haven't been harsh, and
believe me everyone when I say that if I
didn't fall for my ex (my first love) then
I would probably be saying a whole
different story, because like I said mine
didn't cut off communication with him, and
in the end, she dumped me and several
weeks later she found out that she still
loved her first love...pfff...
It all depends if we have a strong
self-esteem to say "It's over. Full
stop."
if we don't have a strong self-esteem and
confidence in ourselves and in the choices
we make, then most of the time, we'll find
our way back to their doorsteps' not
knowing why...