My boyfriend of a year and a half yesterday told me that since the beginning of our relationship, he'd had a number of drunken encounters with girls, more than he can remember. He says that he never went beyond making out with them, though I don't know what I can believe anymore. I feel like now he's been honest about this, I can believe him because he has nothing to lose.
It hurts because twice before he's felt he was inadequate for the relationship, and has tried to end it, and we have had a new beginning. It never made sense why he was so convinced that he was treating me badly, and now I think I see part of what was behind it.
I feel so betrayed because we love each other so deeply, and have such a special bond. I used to feel like we could get through anything together. And he has lied to me all of this time. It feels like everything we had was just one big house of cards.
This relationship has been the most special and important part of my life since I met him, and I know that he loves me. I worry that I've lost my perspective, and that forgiving him will compromise everything I am. But isn't the one you love the one exception, and that you should just keep fighting for them?
Drinking is a common excuse for cheating. However, that doesn't mean its a good one in any way. Some lie about it. Some actually did drink, but they were still irresponsible because if they drank so much that they did things like that, that's just as bad as cheating if they were sober. Catch my drift? He's trying to cover up his wrongdoings by using the drinking. He still cheated. It's a fact. It happened. There's nothing you or him can do about it. And another thing you don't know is truly what happened. He may have been so drunk, he had sex with them. You just don't know. This man needs to work with his alcoholism, which he obviously suffers if he's doing this so often. Try to talk to him about rehab. It's an excellent option. Drinking can only make people go down a deep dark hole and it can be very hard to get back out. If he continues this, the affairs will probably continue as well. The drinking is the number one focus, for both his health and the relationship. Now, if there ever comes a time where he's sober, watch his actions then. If he's still cheating, you know what he said about the drinking was a load of crap, and you need to let him go. No man like that is worth your time. Like I said, work on the drinking and see if that helps first however. Don't leave yet, but if you feel like you're being taken advantage of in any way, even when he's sober, you don't deserve that. Relationships do have rough times, but they're not supposed to be a game of sneaking and cheating and lying, and rumors. Just think about that. And an answer to your question would be : Yes, fighting for the one you love is neccesary, but there comes a point where you have to let it go. You decide what that point is, but don't let this man do this to you! Get him help and get him healthy. ( Or at least try to) Hope this helped and I wish you the very best of luck 'Lylan