Well, I wouldn't be too happy if I meet a woman and she wants to check my credit (Do you mean credit card? Sorry if I have got you wrong!). I guess I am more about the person that I am than the credit card I carry. I am bit of a "philosophical man". So, all you realistic women out there please don't get me otherwise.

As far as views are concerned, I think it depends on what views they are differing on. If they are differing on very minor issues then the relationship can still move smoothly. However, if they are differing on something serious which will significantly affect life after they are married

I don't think she should be asking questions to me as if it were a job interview. She does not need to be overly analytical and push the issue a little too far. However, a woman can be technical in asking these questions without hurting a man. Woman are very good in it and honestly, I don't understand a woman's psychology much! Women are good but tricky at times!!

If the women wants to meet my parents, I absolutely have no problems. If she meets my parents, it's good because she will have some idea about my family and also about her father and mother in laws, of course only if she ends up getting married to me!!

Finding out how I was raised is something that she must do as it will give her some idea about what type of person I am since the environment in which an individual is brought up affects his personality and lifestyle. I am ready to share all these with her. No problem here!

As far as views are concerned, it depends a lot on what they are differing on. If they are differing on minor issues I think the relationship can still move on positively. However, if they have conflict regarding a serious matter it's better to solve the matter before going any further. The kids issue', in my opinion, is a serious matter and should definitely be sorted out before marriage. I think its better to discuss as many things as possible before marriage. It will reduce the possibilities of later conflicts.

Getting tested for STD is an excellent idea and we need to be practical about it. Personally, if I ever get something like AIDS I will refrain from marrying because I don't want to destroy a woman's life. I think she deserves much better. So, yes for STD test!!

As far as "is it the women's fault for ignoring the red flags a man gives,and sticking it out all in the name of love only getting hurt in the end? " is concerned, I think women are more emotional than men (Aren't they?). I think she needs to be careful about this "red signals". If she feels something is not right she should talk to her male counterpart directly and asking him what he thinks about it.

Having said all these, a true love relationship is based on mutual respect and trust for each other.

I am alright with all the issues that you have raised except the credit card one. Somehow I find it a little harsh if she is asks me about this (sorry for that!). I have some logic for that though. Before getting married, I will ensure I have a certain level of respectable (wrong adjective!) income. I will also not look for a woman who is extremely rich woman whose needs will never be fulfilled with my limited income (unless of course, if I also get very rich after completing my studies!!). Above all, true love is the most important thing more than anything else (money).

Finally, I would like to thank you for your post.

I absolutely enjoyed answering it!

credit history to see if he's in debt.

ask questions like an interview to find out the persons desires, dreams, wants, needs. i believe this will save a lot of people waisted time.

meeting their parents to see if he's a momma's boy, raised with abuse, see the future in-laws.

i m sure they have support groups with people who have AIDS. So if someone every get it, they dont have to be alone.

my questions is geared towards, what can a women do to make sure she's meeting a good man without being surprised or hurt 6-9 months down the road.

Do you mean I went off the topic?

Checking credit history is good from a practical point of view but it's difficult to draw a fine line between asking enough questions and asking too many!

I was actually trying to avoid being judgmental, So instead of saying men should not have a problem if the women want to meet their parents I said, "If the women wants to meet my parents, I absolutely have no problems." so that people don't feel I am forcing them what they should do.

When I met my husband he was 20 and I was 19...I am not too sure what you are speaking about with the "Is It True What They Say About Men", but I can tell you one thing...I fell in love with him for who he was...The cute and so self assured jock in front of me...Dressed casual and a few drinks under his belt...It was the personality that I loved...The easy way that I found talking to him...The hot sexual feelings that I found and may I add for the first time in my life, with dancing close to him...I died for him...Other women did too...I would not have cared if he dug ditches, I would have married him...His parents made no difference...Where he lived was beyond my thoughts...As it turned out, we turned out being from other sides of where we lived...Our religion was different...but, we were in love...Love would rule...He was the only man who ever stood me up and delivered bread when he got out of service until he was able to get a good job...

Judging a man by his cover is to me about the most foolish thing that you can do...For me it is to judge him by what he does to me as a woman and the way that the two of us conversed...This same sailor of mine has now given me all in life that any woman could possibly want...Had I gone by this new rule in life I would have made the biggest mistake of my life...For I would have married the man who was going to be the resident doctor who asked me to marry him or the Russian Interpreter who graduated and asked me to be his bride....Instead I picked a nobody who in fact would be a somebody and live a life that any woman would die for.....

These are just my thoughts....but they are good thoughts....

Caroline