i dont know..i've been reading your posts about this guy and how you were suspicious from the beginning..to be honest..i think you deserve better..and while i do believe in second chances and forgiving..i also believe that sometimes in a relationship too much has happened to be able to fix things and go back...can you honestly sit here and say that if you were to get back with him you would NEVER question whether he were cheating on you? i mean, he did it before..why wouldn't he do it again? personally,i know that if a boyfriend of mine were to ever cheat on me, i dont think its something i could get past..there is no excuse for it, and it damages the relationship usually beyond repair...sure he wants to fix his mistakes but if you two were to get back together it certainly shouldn't be anytime soon..if you get back with him quickly he'll believe he can get away with it and this isn't the message you want to send across..i'm sorry for what he's put you through but i wouldn't be so quick to jump back into his arms..you need time to get past this and heal, this isn't something you can recover from so quickly..good luck to you, have a great christmas and i hope things work out for the best

well something happened today that made me rethink if I really wanted to forgive him.

he txt me before he got off work and asked if I was ok wit him going out. and I said if he wanted to go out that it was fine wit me. he thinks I gave him attitude. but eversince he cheated on me I don't keep quiet about how I feel. so I told him 'trully, I am uncomfortable wit you going out because I don't kno if its true that you say your going were u say your going. but im trying to get over my insecurities.'

so his two coworkers/friends started teasing him and chewed him out about how he always has to ask me when he goes out. they got to him and he txts me all pissed off. he says he doesn't kno if this is going to work let alone if he can take m having an attitude about the whole situation I guess??

how does he not expect me to have an attitude when im trying to struggle wit my emotions on a daily basis. hiding my tears when he's around?

so now he says he's a health question for being so considerate. that maybe he should just go out and come home late and not let me know.

is he trying some reverse phsycology crap on me? lol its not gonna work.

so now I have finally decided that if he's so upset about not being able to hangout wit his friends then im letting him go. cause he just proved to me that he really isn't willing to 'do what it takes to fix it' like he had said he would. so im done.I just needed to rant...

pft why is he asking if he can go out anyway? HE screwed things up, i thought you two were currently broken up? so why would he need "permission" to go out..act like you dont care,YOU need to go out, dont even bother telling him..do what you want it aint his problem where you are anymore..a relationship takes sacrafices and compromise..in my opinion it IS my business where my boyfriend is whenever i feel like knowing and if he's shady about it then thats a problem..he always knows where i am and i always know where he is..he doesn't go out whenever he feels, he clears it with me and i dont have a problem with it i just like to know whats up ..and i do the same..if i'm goin out w/my girls i tell him where i'm goin, i text him and we meet up later...this guy seems like he wants to live a life like he's single and hopin you'll just sit back and get over it let him do what he pleases and walk all over you..no honey..do not sit back and take that crap..you're better than that...i'm sorry this has happened..dont let him get to you, he will only break your heart again

exactly! lol technically were not broken up, I told him as soon as I got a job I wouldleave and he said he would try to make things better. since day one he would always ask me if it was ok if he kicked it wit his friends after work. jus so I know were he was. and that's awesome for a boyfriend to be that considerate and I would do the same. if I went out I would let him know. out of respect for one another... anyways... I was so surprised when he txt me all angry. and as he was telling me his coworkers were teasing him that he was whipped.how can he take advice from two coworkers who have cheated on their girlfriend/wife?! he seems to be a little jealous because he says that their girls don't ask their guys were their going even though they know they were cheated on.

im not those girls lol so he pretty much just showed me he isn't willing to try and make this better like he said he was going to. it breaks my heart cause even though everything happened..I still love him.

but if he feels he can't handle keeping his own word..then im done.as much as I love him he's not about to try and make me feel bad for this.

he sounded upset because he said even before all this happened I didn't trust him. yea! that's true because he gave me reasons not to. but everytime we did work on it and got some trust back, I would always find something new, and it kept going and going.

but this is ridiculous...

if you cant trust him..which i dont blame you bc your suspicions were correct..then its going to be extremely hard to mend this relationship..of course you love him and the idea of him changing for the better so you two could be together..but the reality of it is that he's going to be the same guy that you know...he did cheat on you..and theres no way of knowing if he would ever do it again..you just have to ask yourself if this is something you're willing to put up with..is he really worth worrying about all the time..who he's with what he's up to if he's going to cheat again...space is probably the best ..how long before you can move out?

if you cant trust him..which i dont blame you bc your suspicions were correct..then its going to be extremely hard to mend this relationship..of course you love him and the idea of him changing for the better so you two could be together..but the reality of it is that he's going to be the same guy that you know...he did cheat on you..and theres no way of knowing if he would ever do it again..you just have to ask yourself if this is something you're willing to put up with..is he really worth worrying about all the time..who he's with what he's up to if he's going to cheat again...space is probably the best ..how long before you can move out?

i still havent had luck with jobs, so its going to be a while. it just gets hard cause he tries everyday to be nice and give me my space at the same time.everyday hes trying to make it right but theres days were i can see the stress getting to him. were he gets irritated over little things like asking me if its ok if he goes out. thats why i dont think its going to last, cause of the tension.

but im surprised hes trying so hard. years ago i talked to a few of his exs and friends and they clearly told me hes not the type to stick around when things get rocky, their surprised weve even lasted this long, specially after everything weve gone thru. his ex-best friend contacted me yesterday, jus to see how i was doing, he said that he talks about me at work, he sees him bumbed out sometimes eating lunch by himself, he says he looks remorsful but also happy at the same time.the girl works in the area so she drops by to pay her bill or say hi to her friends and he doesnt even look or cross words with her.

he has heard him talking to his other friends about how yea he did mess up, that hes scared i mite do it to him and that he was stupid for being so weak.

his ex-best friend says he does love me, but that he never went out there looking for her, we were in a bad spot and she fell into him i guess. but yea. its going to be a while before i can leave. its a little hard but im doing my best to stay focused.

well its been a while since ive written anything. things were going ok till he blew up again. this time accusing me of keeping in touch wit the girl he cheated on behind his back..

it makes me angry cause everytime things look up, he does something to set us back. i dont know if this is some game hes playing? maybe he wants to leave but doesnt have the balls to tell me? he wants to annoy me to the point were im the one that breaks up wit him? some male insite would be greatly appreciated.

right now we dont talk much. after he made me angry i kept to myself. he started acting like he didnt do anything and that angered me even more. i told him i was moving out and he jus shrugged me off. it hurts cause to me it seems that hes not appreciating the second chance i gave him. its like he doesnt want it anymore.

guys can be jerks sometimes! he was on the right track when he called you, it sound like peer pressure that made him get angry.

when he cheated it is normal for you to be hurt, bring it up when your upset with him, think about it, get angry, wonder why.....etc.
guys have to know when they do this, they are in the dog house? i understand you forgave him, but what was his punishment? even if it was a conversation about how he hurt you and it will take a while for you to regain trust in him. no punishment/no guilt
ive learned that guys can destroy a relationship, but very few of them is willing to fix it. he cant get mad at you for feeling the way you do, he's the reason for it. i feel like he should be doing everything in his power to make things right.