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Is it normal to feel this way?

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here's my story: I'm 17 and 13 weeks pregnant with my ex-boyfriends baby. I don't like my ex one bit, I never really wanted to be with him in the first place but I couldn't find the right way to end things with him. Finally I got the guts to do it but the day that happened was the day I found out I was pregnant Sad i was devastated. I also have juvenile rheumatoid arthritis and I have quit taking my meds for it since I read it could possibly cause birth defects. My doctors say its as safe as Tylenol during pregnancy but I got too scared with what I found online. So now I can barely walk let alone stand up off the couch. I just recently (as in the past 8 months) lost A LOT of weight and i was beginning to have the life I always wanted since my arthritis took away most of my childhood. Now that I'm pregnant and unable to walk, I've gained more weight then what I'm supposed to. It makes me cry when i try to put on my old size 3 jeans and they dont go up my legs. None of my friends call or text me anymore, I don't even see the point in having a cell phone anymore. I have so much resentment towards my ex for getting me pregnant, I know its my fault that this has happened too but I have the oddest feeling that he got me pregnant on purpose just to keep me around. He says he wants to be apart of the pregnancy but he texts me once every 2 weeks (if I'm lucky) to see how I'm doing. Every time I ask him for money to buy something for the baby or a doctors apt he has some excuse on why he's broke even though he has a job. Last time I asked for money he blew up on me and that was a little over two weeks ago and he hasn't talked to me since. I feel so alone and depressed. It eats at me every day. Any advice? please be nice, I can't handle any harsh judgments, I get enough of that from my father. thanks.
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First Helper User Profile CuriousNotes
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replied July 5th, 2011
Extremely eHealthy
u r a perfect candidate for termination of pregnancy and right now is the time since u waited this long. . now
but I tend to look at things realistically; facts, figures, percentages and this has failure written all over it. for so many reasons; starting with u r not mature enough, educated enough, experienced enough, your health is crap to start. . . I will stop there as u can go on about money, jobs, intact family, etc
wish u the best no matter what
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replied July 5th, 2011
you're surely placing some harsh judgments against me for someone who doesn't know me. My health isn't "crap" for starters, I'm sure you dont know anything about JRA so unless you're an arthritis doctor you should keep that opinion to yourself. I don't believe in being a baby killer just based on your so called "realistic facts". I made a mistake on having sex at a young age but I'm not going to take that out on a innocent life that did nothing to deserve it. If you believe homicide, that's your decision but its not mine.
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replied July 5th, 2011
Experienced User
I was in the same porstion as you but i was olny 13 when it happend ... i told myself i dont belive in abortion but i was olny 13 and i wasnt ready bringing baby into the world when you have them sorts of feelign for your e is bad fr your baby ... I know be hard but i think a abortion is probely the best way forwarddd.

Good luck hope everythign ok Smile
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replied July 7th, 2011
I think you should reconsider taking your meds for JRA. Where did you find that it can cause birth defects? Did you speak to your doctor about that? You should find out every thing you can and possibly get a 2nd opinion about it because you still have a long way to go with your pregnancy and I know the JRA is causing you a lot of discomfort. You need some kind of relief for it. As far as your friends, if they were REAL friends they wouldn't ditch you because of the situation you're in. They should still support you and be there for you. So either tell them how you feel and see if there's a change. If not, screw them. You're ex boyfriend seems like a joke. If he really wants to be apart of the pregnancy then he needs to help you and check in way more often. How old is he? Everything you're going through is very unfortunate. It's not going to be easy but you can get through all of this with the right mindset and support system.
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replied July 7th, 2011
I found it on the Journal of Arthritis website, it was a study they preformed on the drug. I talked to a high risk doctor and he told me it's totally safe to take so I have decided to take half the dosage I was prescribed every two weeks (I was originally supposed to take it once a week). I am able to walk with little to no pain most of the time. My ex is 18 and extremely immature for his age.
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replied July 7th, 2011
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hi Brandy-

wow, you're a tough girl going through all of this. I'm so sorry you are Sad *hugs*
Reading these posts of people saying to terminate it is really upsetting. I'm not going to tell you what to do but I do know there are so many options. Adoption, open or closed. Either way, it's your baby and your choice.

A girl who went to my church became a missionary and was used while in China and she had no idea who the man was. She found out she was pregnant there too. The conditions there are awful so they just looked at it as a loss. I don't know what happened, I think it was her faith and belief in God and prayers, but she ended up having a healthy baby boy.

People can say what they want but in the end, it's God's will. A lot of people do become afraid or confused and end up showing it through anger. If you want to, you could try counseling and if your family is up for it, maybe they can join in so they can understand better. I wish you the best, I really do. Don't let anyone upset you, because like you said, we don't know you or your situation. Hang in there.
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replied July 7th, 2011
"no wedding no womb" hahaha! your nothing but a joke. grow up. seriously. i never said i was cutting the father out of its life. its HIS choice to not be apart of it. you're 13, you shouldn't be giving advice on something you know NOTHING about. Call me stupid or whatever you like but until you walk a mile in my shoes i could care less what you say k?
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replied July 7th, 2011
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That was harsh and unnecessary *the purple girl*. If you "can't help someone with their problem" please don't reply.

Brandy (and everyone) I just wanted to mention since people are being immature, if anyone bashes you or you need to, you can click the red report button on their post.
xx
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replied July 7th, 2011
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ok please stop attacking this young woman. Yes she may be young but NONE of you know her maturity level and it's not your right to judge her. She's having a real issue and it's her choice to keep or abort this child. She's being a lot smarter than most girls in her situation, she's asking for help and not trying to figure it out on her own when it can become too late and she doesn't have a choice. I give her a lot of props for being brave enough to come to people for help and ya'll aren't making it easy on her, being a young adult is hard enough. I speak from a lot of experience in dealing with young parents my family is filled with them and each and every one of them has kept the child and their lives are wonderful some starting as young as 13. So don't you try to crucify her. Darlin' Good luck! if you want help or need to talk just email me and I'll get back to you
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replied July 7th, 2011
thank you so much! you're so sweet and i really appreciate what you said to these people. Gives me some hope that I'm making the right choice on keeping the baby. thanks again.
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replied July 7th, 2011
Dam so much drama for a young girl I think you should keep the baby and it's best to get as much support. And the father should help you as well to support
Have a great pregnancy
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Users who thank Jessette for this post: Brandy_540  CuriousNotes 

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replied July 8th, 2011
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Little girl hmmm no !!! I had a abortion but i a mum i know how it feels but unlike you i have my boyfriend who stands by me soo i do know what i talking about people trying help your throwing it in there faces so noone will bother will they :/ , At end day your decision you know what best for your baby because your it mums that all i try to say but also make sure right that there dad even how much you hate him is part you babys life a baby need both of your no matter how much you cant stand eacother . Good luck hope everyhting works out ........
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replied July 8th, 2011
i wasnt talking about you. i was referring to the girl that was rude to YOU calling YOU gross. but um thanks.
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replied July 11th, 2011
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Awwww right i sorry i hush my mouth andd Gross what that ??
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replied July 11th, 2011
she was saying you were gross for having sex at a young age and she doesn't understand why people think its ok. so i was telling her to keep her opinion to herself and that she doesn't know whats happening in peoples home lives.
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replied July 11th, 2011
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Ohhh right sorry i didnt understand but thanks Smile and well she has her opinion if that what she thinks then let her LOL! And well clearly she didnt understand what happening in mine

Any way good luck with you baby hope everyhting works out Smile for the best .....
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replied July 11th, 2011
thanks:)
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replied July 11th, 2011
Experienced User
I like keeped in touch if that ok let me know how your doing and stuff and how your baby is and if everyhtign works out Smile
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replied July 11th, 2011
i will. i'm keeping the baby. hoping for a baby girl! Very Happy
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replied July 12th, 2011
Experienced User
Good for you Smile and awww bless see i wanted a boy but now i have my little girl i glad LOL!!x
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replied July 12th, 2011
Yeah i'm excited to dress her up in all these cute outfits and summer dresses:)
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replied July 13th, 2011
Experienced User
Yeah yano tie there hair up wait they get older knicking you make up and everyhting LOL got all this look forward to are you going to find out what the baby is or not ?? And if you are how long till you can find out ?? Ohhh and all the tiny sandles and shoes best part about it x
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replied July 13th, 2011
I'm going to find out the sex of the baby so it's not a surprise when it's born. I think I can find out in about 3 or 4 weeks, so not too much longer Smile
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replied July 14th, 2011
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Awwww that be nce i didnt find out sex of mine so was a complete surpise when she was born ..... But its nice to know so you know what bits to get and everything Smile and you have inbox me when you find out let me know what your having 3 or 4 weeks anit long then bet cant wait find out the sex Smile
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replied January 26th, 2012
Brandy, my prayers are with you and wish you ALL the best !! You are going through a REAL tough time and appears are getting little or no support, emotionally nor financially from anyone. Maybe you can find some positive encouragement and support from your local religious organization. i know for a fact that no matter what denomination you are or religious beliefs, your local Christian organization will welcome you with open arms and will do whatever they can to support and help you. Good luck to you and God Bless ~ Patty P
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