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Is it normal to always want to be alone?

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Im 27 years old and never had a girlfriend because I just dont see the need for one. Early teens I was very social and outgoing. Last couple years, I just want to be alone all the time so it got to the point that my friends never call me anymore and I dont call them, I always made excuses to avoid situations. I dont really hang out with anyone anymore. The only close family or friends is my sister as all my cousins and family live in a different city. Growing up I had a pretty rocky relationship with my parents and felt very alone growing up. I know my dad gave up on us (3 kids) and just was never really supportive...although he stayed living with us. I know that gets me mad because what boy doesnt want a father to be there. I have a hard time talking to my own mom and dad. Im not really antisocial because the people I work with I can talk with and hold conversations with and tend to make people laugh easily. I know Ive been depressed and probably still am. I tend to keep everything to myself and not share how I feel. Lately I just been wanting to move away somewhere by myself.

Giving all that...I just want to be alone now. I always just stay in my room and watch movie or listen to music or play a game. Seems like everyone nowadays has a lack of respect for humans and lack of common courtesy and that is a big pet peeve for me.
Is this normal to not want to be around family or friends?
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First Helper everlasting199
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Users who thank Smokie23 for this post: ellyssa 

replied September 28th, 2010
well i guess it all depends what u consider "normal"... it might be normal to u to want to be alone all the time but not normal to the other people around u.. i am kind of in the same boat, just want to be left alone or have more alone time to myself.. family & friends dont always understand that and might even take offense to it.. just do whats best for u and what makes u comfortable.. are u being treated for your depression? you could try talking to someone about your concerns, like a therapist, its completely confidential and who knows it might help.. if not u dont have to go back if u dont want to.. just dont give up, ur not alone..
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replied October 5th, 2010
i dont think that it is always a depression when u want to be left alone. i always want to be alone cos ppl stress me out. they seem to like me so much & find that boring.
im very happy doing my own thing. i dont need boyfriends or friends. my family think that i dont like them. well i like them but only 4 a very short time.
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replied November 6th, 2010
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i m in the same category i love to be alone and love to hearing songs and surfing in my room its normal dont afraid
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replied October 15th, 2012
I don't have any friends and I do not feel normal...in fact although I like to be alone...I have this desire to have a friend. I think that I am awesome. So I really don't understand why I am not super popular. But it's mostly my fault for pushing people away because I go in and out of phases where I just need to do my own thing...not a big phone talker...most don't get that...I'm not being vain, or conceited, and no, I'm not in hypo mania right now but I'm pretty and have always had problems with women they either stab me in the back to see if they can, or they meet someone and no longer want me around their man (with no cause) this is just the way it has been for me. I've been told that I am intimidating. So how do I overcome this.
But my answer would be no I don't think this is normal..I think everyone needs human interaction, and attachments. Just my opinion.
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replied September 22nd, 2013
Me too...I push people away. My friends and family...and just because I need to be alone...I feel like I failed. My family must need me, my old friends needed me at some point, and I wasn't there. My family will always be there for me but friend, they didn't wait. I didn't have problem with anybody, I just left and never answered or gave any explanation...eventually I told I was too busy or had to work on weekends...Just lied. And all of this to be alone. Now I miss having friends. But I keep being alone cause I know it's easier and I really don't know if I can do this anymore..Being alone is something I need, not something I want anymore. Im 29 and since I graduated in college in 2006 I'm living this way. I think I will always be the kind of person that needs solitude and silence and having my space. But right now I keep thinking I need help.
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replied October 6th, 2013
Hello ellyssa,

Reading your post felt like I wrote it at sometime. Being alone is not wrong and shouldn't make you feel down or confused. It is normal to want to be alone. Complete, extended isolation can be unhealthy though. I learned the hard way. I lied to people to be alone. This only burned those bridges I had with them. It is best if you are straight up with your friends and family and just tell them you do not feel like getting together because you want to be alone. Not only that but a lie eventually comes back and is something you regret or feel bad about, which is unhealthy. I like to say "Honesty is better understood than a lie." No matter how much we like to be alone, there comes a day when you feel the need to be around other people. You might just be in conflict with yourself. Do you feel confused or depressed by the fact that you like to be alone more then you like to be around others? Maybe you just need to come to terms with yourself and accept the fact you like solitude and silence and having your own space rather then feeling confused or depressed by it. Repairing your relationship with your family also I think would be healthy for you. It is NEVER to late to say sorry and to admit you did wrong.
Often the first step to recovery is admitting or accepting the fact you need help. If you feel you need help maybe you should talk to a professional.

Keep your head up, things always get better Smile
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replied October 20th, 2012
Hiya, I ended up searching "is it normal to want to be alone" and this was the first link. I don't even really remembering typing the original post. Since then I have overcome depression but still am alone but feel much more happy then before..obviously cause I'm not living with depression. I feel the same way as you do Laddiesmommy. I think I am bi-polar but haven't been clinically diagnosed with it. All the symptoms are there. I do the exact same thing as you do where you just "go in and out" of these episodes where you want to be around people and then you just want to do your own thing. Its hard to hold a relationship when you go in and out like this because your partner or friends doesn't really understand and they misinterpret your intentions. I've done a lot of research on this and it really comes down to the person. Some people are better off alone and some people cannot live without a significant other. Some people really depend on another persons support and some people are very independent and don't need another persons support or affection. I think I am in between.

As for being "intimidating" I think you just need to be more open and understanding. For a test every other day tell a person (whether its a co-worker, family, friend, neighbor ect.) how you REALLY feel about them and how much that person means to you. After a while this will break down that "intimidating" factor in your relationships.

Hey if anyone needs a person to talk to, don't be shy. I'm a good listener Smile
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replied December 2nd, 2012
Same here. The less time I spend in a 500ft radius of other people, the better. I agree with the poster who said that people just stress you out; it's extremely tiring. I consider myself highly empathetic, and I think that's the source of the issue.

As for relationships, I don't mind a planned event every couple months; whenever I had a romantic relationship, I never found them worth staying the same for. Haven't dated for over 5 yrs., and I'm perfectly fine being single for another five, too!

So really, I'm not normal compared with the general population. I'm fine with it though. Does it really matter what other people think of you?
...I just came here looking for new spots to be left alone Wink To no avail.
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replied June 27th, 2013
Hi guys, I surf the web late nights everyday looking for forums with other people I can relate to. I love to read your stories because it makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one:) anyway this is the first time I've ever written on any online forum. I've decided that if my family and friends don't understand maybe u will. The truth is in high school I was so different. I was confident, happy, pretty, and social. A part of me misses those days. Back then i felt like I didn't need anyone to be happy but they were there. Fast forward 5 years, now I'm a loner, lack of confidence, no ambition, just not happy. Now here's the thing after high school ended a lot went down in my life. I started getting acne problems, I started to want to be alone, I felt no attraction for guys anymore, everything just bored me, and the big thing my mom went to jail. My dad got depressed and for the first time in my life I felt succeptable to depression. This all started right after high school ended. Things have just been going down hill from there even though I tried so hard to be optimistic. I joined zumba classes, I tried dating, I tried jobs, I'm a full time college student. The thing is none of it satisfies me. Another thing is the only guy I ever really wanted didn't work out. He was from high school and I never really could get over him. Although it's less painful now I still think of him from time to time. He really isnt the issue, it's me I know I can feel again for someone but I don't really want to right now. I don't seem to want to be around anyone these days and theres no good reason for it. That's what really bothers me. I go to therapy and that helped a little but not much. All I want it to feel satisfied and furfilled and happy for one day I forgotten what that feels like. I don't know if I'm depressed I dont feel like it. I think I'm just sad because life isn't turning out like I expected. I just have no passion anymore and I'm a very passionate person at heart. The only things that seems to make me happy these days is excersise and reading. I just wanted to get that off my chest. Thanks:)
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replied June 29th, 2013
Just a little bit of your time for a chance of help, comfort.
IT wouldn't hurt to try having a relationship with God. (IF you already haven't), if you do, just pray, have faith, and endure to the end. If you have real faith, he will not fail you.

But for others who may not know much or never thought of God then read please.
Hes unconditional, and will show you things in your life, and make you comfortable. like you don't have to worry about the wrong in the world, cause he will always be there for you. There has always been good and evil, and we have to truly pick one side. God loves everyone. I have depression too, and still have symptoms, and no energy but ever since I asked God into my heart and asked for forgiveness, repented of my sins, asked him to be my savior and that I want to be his, I at least have the comfort knowing im never alone, im loved, and helping others helps everyone.He starts to mold you in good ways you never thought would ever happen. Just learn. pray, and talk to God, and read the bible (ask him to help you understand to your fullest abilities).and talk to other true Christians, there will always be the bad things people (sin), but they are still people with souls, talk to them too about God, and spread the Good. It helps everyone out. Its the truth. There's signs of his return, so make sure to make your soul right.
God bless you all.
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replied July 27th, 2013
I like to frequent the website called beliefnet.com. It's a very informative website with all kinds of prayers and other faith and religious topics. It's great for anyone because the site offers prayers and information for people of any and all faiths, denominations and religions. It helps to read and print out some of the prayers. I find that I need to read them at times. It does heal the pain at times.
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replied July 27th, 2013
I like being alone. I feel that so many other people out here are accepted and liked for who they are (shortcomings and all), but that a lot of times people don't try to see any good or positive in me and just dwell on and on about traits that I have that they don't like or don't understand. As years have gone by, I gave up and decided that I would just learn to stay to myself as much as possible if I am going to have to hear negativity about myself all the time, as if everyone else in the world is so perfect. I love being in my apartment to myself where no one can judge me or throw insults my way all the time. Truthfully, if I did not have to go to work, I would stay inside my apartment all the time. I get tired of people and I get tired of the meanness that the people in this world put on you all the time.
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replied October 20th, 2013
Alone! All the time. Yes PLEASE!
I am so glad I found this. I went searching for "Is It bad to just want to be alone all the time" and this is what it took me to.
I am so glad to have read from all of you that feel the same way. I like that someone said "I don't just want it, I need it"
That is how I am. I am completely happy and love life, and people in moderate doses. I work a full time job, where I am surrounded by people and I would just prefer to be alone in my free time. People can be exhausting. This is hard when I meet new friends, or potential boyfriends. So many people want to be around in every free second I have, and it is so exhausting explaining to them that I just need time alone. I feel like I cant help it, I don't really want to change it. I just wish people would accept it.
Sometimes they will say "just once a week" should be not to much, but honestly it is. It depends on the week and what I have going on.
I'm glad to know I'm not alone on this. This gives me comfort, I'll be just fine. I'm not secretly loosing it Smile
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replied December 6th, 2013
I'm also hanging out by myself constantly. Never use to be this way but I just seem to have no need for people these days I get easily annoyed by them and do not desire the same things, social stuff, so it keeps me alone but not lonely.
It is hard to explain to friends why you do not feel the same anymore and would rather stay at home!
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replied December 10th, 2013
Wow this forum is just amazing. I thought there was something seriously wrong with me. I always see other people everywhere with a group of friends or just always with people, & I'm like damn why don't I like to do that? I guess I'm just not the majority. I just love to be alone for the same reasons a lot of people have posted on here already. Being around people, for me, is mentally exhausting and tiring & it's just not worth it to me anymore. I used to be a social butterfly, and still am to some extent but enjoy my alone time soo much. I'll avoid people though which is what I thought wasn't "normal" & a lot of the time feel like I'm not good enough..
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replied March 8th, 2014
I'm 31 and I have felt the same way for the past 11 years. I have 2 children who are smart and loving and amazing but I would still rather be alone. People talking to me irratates me and I can't understand why people like me or want to spend time with me. It is annoying, I find it a bother.
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