Medical Questions > Parenting > Parenting Community Forum

Is it normal for children to masturbate? (Page 1)

Must Read
What is chicken pox? And what are the stages of the infection? Click here for chicken pox basics....
How does chicken pox spread? Click here for information on who is most at risk of contracting chicken pox and how children and adults get chicken pox....
What do chicken pox look like? We outline the signs and symptoms here with info on possible complications and when you should seek medical help for the pox....
I found my little 6 year old boy masturbating last night. I asked him how he learned to do this and he said he figured it out by himself. Is this possible? My husband and I recall a problem with the neighbor's kid telling him to take his pants down and telling him that it feels good to touch " down there." The other boy is about a year older. Was this molest? First I told him not to do it. Then my husband and I asked him if he could stop, and he shook his head. We told him it was inappropriate for someone his age. He asked what age would be good and we said 11 or 12. Have we begun a guilt complex? So we concluded by telling him only to masterbate at home and then to do it in his room. We were gentle with him, but I still worry that we may have been instilling grief or guilt. Is this neurotic behavior? Should I have him see a psychiatrist? What is the best approach in discussing this subject with my son?
Did you find this post helpful?
First Helper two_of_three
|

User Profile
replied August 13th, 2008
Community Volunteer
Ok first of all, it is perfectly normal for him at that age to figure out things feel pretty good down there. My son started at age four. I talked to his doctor, seeing as how he was my firstborn. His doctor said it is perfectly normal. As far as it being molestation by the older child, I do not think so. The older child is seven right? So that makes him a little bit on the innocent side. While what he was doing may seem a bit innapropriate, he is just being a little boy and probably knew no better. Now a 10 year old boy....that would be very wrong. IT IS NOT NEUROTIC BEHAVIOR. And even though I disagree with you telling him to wait until he is 11 or 12, it is GREAT that you have told him to do that in the privacy of his own room. You need to tell your son that the feeling he has down there when he touches himself is very normal, that all boys get that good feeling, but that if he feels he wants to do that, he needs to be private about it and go to his room because those are his private parts and only for him to see, touch and use. And only when he is getting a checkup by his doctor or if he gets hurt down there (like the zipper injury or a bug bite) and you need to look at it to determine whether he needs to see a doctor, is anyone else allowed to look. There is no reason for him to have to see a psychiatrist.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied April 5th, 2011
What feels better for a male than pleasuring?
Its safe,enjoyable as a roller coaster ride,can't mget STDS from it,its free, and one can't get someone pregnant from masturbation,plus its a great non drug tension and emotional stress releiver,we need more males enjoying and pleasuring themselves and less dead babies in the unplanned parenthood dumpster!
As far as privacy of ones Genitalia,that depends if your a Textile or Naturist family like ours!(nudist)
Our kids were all raised as Naturists and enjoyed being nude and natural camping,swimming,eating in the restaurant,showering together,hot tubbing,fishing and boating nude n natural as well as being at the teen dances as adolescents,now grown and all professionals with familys of their own including our adopted son.

chubby
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied December 18th, 2011
why is he doing this
I am a 14 year old girl and, I'm not trying to be rude, but no one can explain the matter better that a teenager that have experience in such things. I have been masturbating since I was 6. And you cam start to masturbate at the age of 2. It is very normal. And to answer your question it doesn't mean that someone has told or showed your son to masturbate he did truly discover it himself. Children explore their bodies and then realize that there are spots that react different if you touch them than the other parts. But there are two answers, and this might worry you. Your child might have been sexually abused. And if you don't believe that then the only other answer is your child has been watching porn.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

This post is being reviewed to be sure that it adheres to our Community Guidelines.
Thanks for your patience!

User Profile
replied August 13th, 2008
Community Volunteer
Re: Masterbation
me133 wrote:
I found my little 6 year old boy masturbating last night. I asked him how he learned to do this and he said he figured it out by himself. Is this possible? My husband and I recall a problem with the neighbor's kid telling him to take his pants down and telling him that it feels good to touch " down there." The other boy is about a year older. Was this molest? First I told him not to do it. Then my husband and I asked him if he could stop, and he shook his head. We told him it was inappropriate for someone his age. He asked what age would be good and we said 11 or 12. Have we begun a guilt complex? So we concluded by telling him only to masterbate at home and then to do it in his room. We were gentle with him, but I still worry that we may have been instilling grief or guilt. Is this neurotic behavior? Should I have him see a psychiatrist? What is the best approach in discussing this subject with my son?


Sorry motherofhighspiritedones, but I am going to disagree with you. The presence of this other perverted boy in his neighborhood may have had an influence on his actions and caused him to do it, and he might be too afraid or whatever the reason to tell his parents the truth.

I feel that sexual actions at this young age are totally uncalled for. Kid should be interested in running outside, running bikes and reading rather than hiding in their rooms. Of course it is a pleasurable experience, so of course he is not going to want to stop. I am glad you were gentle with him, but you must be firm with him just as you would with anything else. You make the rules. I don't know why things should apply differently to sex than cigarettes, smoking, driving, curfew, or cleaning up his room.....

I know there are many children who do this kind of thing, but I do feel that it isn't normal behavior and you risk addiction. Plus there is a the slightest possibility that there is some sort of foul play going on in school or in his neighborhood. One session with a trained child psychologist would probably not be a bad idea.

This is not to rub anyone the wrong way, but I wish all the best to all children and really wish that in this day and age their innocence could be preserved a little longer.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied July 21st, 2011
perverted six year old? wow...it sounds like you are the one with the perversions and narrow mind! masturbation in children is perfectly NORMAL and they are NOT in need of a psychiatrist or therapy!

Shees! do s little research before you go mouthing off about what you know nothing about!
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied July 21st, 2011
perverted six year old? wow...it sounds like you are the one with the perversions and narrow mind! masturbation in children is perfectly NORMAL and they are NOT in need of a psychiatrist or therapy!

Shees! do a little research before you go mouthing off about what you know nothing about!
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied August 13th, 2008
Supporter
Re: Is it normal for children to masturbate?
me133 wrote:
I found my little 6 year old boy masturbating last night. I asked him how he learned to do this and he said he figured it out by himself. Is this possible? My husband and I recall a problem with the neighbor's kid telling him to take his pants down and telling him that it feels good to touch " down there." The other boy is about a year older. Was this molest? First I told him not to do it. Then my husband and I asked him if he could stop, and he shook his head. We told him it was inappropriate for someone his age. He asked what age would be good and we said 11 or 12. Have we begun a guilt complex? So we concluded by telling him only to masterbate at home and then to do it in his room. We were gentle with him, but I still worry that we may have been instilling grief or guilt. Is this neurotic behavior? Should I have him see a psychiatrist? What is the best approach in discussing this subject with my son?


It is definitely NOT neurotic behaviour. Masturbation isn't harmful & as long as he knows it's only suitable for the bedroom then I'd just leave him to it. I don't see how taking him to a psychiatrist would be helpful in anyway, but that's just my personal opinion. I learnt to masturbate at a young age (about 6) & no-one told me it was either wrong or right.. I just knew it felt good. It wasn't a sexual thing for me because I didn't understand about sex at that age. It was only at the age of about 11 or 12 that I realised what I'd actually been doing all those years.

If that other little boy was only 7 I highly doubt he understood that telling your son to do it was wrong.. there's no way you could call it molestation.
|
Did you find this post helpful?
Users who thank Zanny for this post: motherofhighspiritedones 

This post is being reviewed to be sure that it adheres to our Community Guidelines.
Thanks for your patience!

User Profile
replied August 13th, 2008
Community Volunteer
Are you insinuating that my son might have a problem or might be being sexually abused because he does what feels good to him? I have never, ever told him touching himself is bad. That is shaming him for something that comes natural. He doesn't do it every day, doesn't spend all day in his room doing it, so it is not a problem. And it is NOT a precursor of an addiction. He is doing what is very normal and what feels good and he is doing it in the privacy of his own room.If you look at the statistics, almost every child at this age masturbates or touches themselves. It is not a matter of "getting off" to them...it is just a good feeling. That little boy may have been wrong in telling her son to touch himself down there but look at it this way: ALL kids play house. All kids touch down there. All kids are curious about their bodies. And masturbation does not ruin someone's innocence. And in no way can a 7 year old be meaningfully perverted. He may very well have been abused himself or maybe he just simply was not taught boundaries. And you are right, it may have influenced her little boy a bit. But the fact is, masturbation is not wrong, and even if the little boy had not commented that it feels good to touch down there, I am sure eventually her son would have figured it out on his own...chances are he probably already did.
|
Did you find this post helpful?
Users who thank motherofhighspiritedones for this post: Zanny  two_of_three 

This post is being reviewed to be sure that it adheres to our Community Guidelines.
Thanks for your patience!

User Profile
replied August 14th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
idk what to say as i feel weird... my son has found his "fire ingine" at 6 months... hes 7 months now) he touches and pulls on his lil engine all the time... idk if this relates but i feel weird cuz hes so young and doing this often. he even rips open his diaper to snag a touch, grab etc.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied August 14th, 2008
Supporter
newmommy07 wrote:
idk what to say as i feel weird... my son has found his "fire ingine" at 6 months... hes 7 months now) he touches and pulls on his lil engine all the time... idk if this relates but i feel weird cuz hes so young and doing this often. he even rips open his diaper to snag a touch, grab etc.


All little boys do that. My nephew is 2 & a half now & he's done that since he was a few weeks old. It's not masturbating, it's just exploring. My daughter does it to a certain extent, but obviously there's nothing there to pull on!
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied August 14th, 2008
Community Volunteer
Rachel, I wasn't trying to insinuate or hurt anyone's feelings. Like I said, I'm not trying to rub anyone the wrong way. The OP has suspicions that something isn't right, and I just say, trust your parenting instincts and it's better to be safe than sorry.

I teach my children from the times they are babies to just not touch down there, just by persistently keeping their hand away if they want to explore. I don't punish them or slap their hands, just move their fingers gently away. This is not just for the reasons we are discussing, but also for hygienic reasons.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 16th, 2008
Experienced User
newmommy07 wrote:
idk what to say as i feel weird... my son has found his "fire ingine" at 6 months... hes 7 months now) he touches and pulls on his lil engine all the time... idk if this relates but i feel weird cuz hes so young and doing this often. he even rips open his diaper to snag a touch, grab etc.


Hehe.. that put a smile on my face.
Your son is a natural born MACHO ^^
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied January 6th, 2009
Too Young to Masturbate?????
Wow!!! we sure have a lot of freaky people out there.
Most all boys discover the pleasure of touching their penises. It is curiosity and pleasure. Please by all means stop putting guilt on them for doing something very normal. Explain that they should do it in private. They cannot stop after those good experiences. My daughter scolded my grandson many times when he was young and gave him such a guilt complex. Now he is 12 and feels free not only to do it but to talk to me freely about such issues.
Stop placing guilt on your kids.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied February 17th, 2009
While I think it is okay to masturbate I do think it is best done at a later age - I know this from experience - not personally but from friends who started at 4 and got so use to it they found it difficult to be intimate with a woman , one of my friends even though he had a girlfriend he would occasionally lie to her he was busy so he can spend time privately doing what he does best ...

Too much freedom to do whatever our little ones desire is not always good - remember if we give in to every craving however good does not have a better end...

Remember that book 'LORD OF THE FLIES' well that is a classic example of what happens when children are left to their own devices..

You can tell your child while masturbating is perfectly normal and accepted it is something you do when you are older...so it is better to try and wait - I believe when children are bored they think of all sorts of things...
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied February 21st, 2009
Community Volunteer
I will agree to disagree. I am talking about a little boy who spends ALL day at school and outside with his friends, not in his room, left to his devices. What he chooses to do after bathtime in his bedroom is his business. It is his room and his privacy. My husband started as far back as he can remember and I can tell you in NO way was he affected. When they are that young it is NOT masturbation, it is not done for the purpose of "getting off". It is done because of curiousity about their own bodies and because it feels good. There is NOTHING sexual about it, therefore it IS perfectly normal and perfectly okay. He doesn't do it when he is bored. Doesn't do it all day long, hardly ever does it. As a matter of fact, last time I saw him "exploring" was when he was 4. I never bothered to be bothered by what he does. It is normal and not something to nitpick or shame or give the "wait until you are older" line about. It does not equate to the "older" version of the act. It is a good time to say "there is a time and place for that and that is when its time to be in your room, the place for that".
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied July 18th, 2009
It's normal. I think all little boys do it and if you don't call too much negative attention to it then he may outgrow it. My son is 10 (he's mentally challenged, functions at a 3 year old level, and still in diapers). We keep him in a crib for his safety since he doesn't need to find a bathroom in the middle of the night. After I change his diaper, he has a nighttime ritual of rubbing himself on his crib mattress. I don't know if he climaxes or anything. I just see his little butt go up and down and I can hear his diaper crinkle. Eventually he goes to sleep.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied August 5th, 2009
Oh , I haven't encountered or heard about this one. But in my opinion, a child is innocent about sexual pleasures and mostly a child just imitates what they see some adults are doing. Pornography is everywhere and we don't know if a child is exposed to that. And basing from what I have read about the psychology of sex, a person who are oversex are usually exposed to sex at a very early age. I'm just sharing some information here. Let's be just open minded on the ideas each of us are giving.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 15th, 2009
cole 11 boy
ohh my god it fells so good to do that im 11 ive got hair in pLACES (look down and sees hair) i have an orgazome but some c.u.m (cums) out not much so ......... it is not bad be free DO IT TN PRIVATE (titanic)it has been a deed playing with (myself) gentle men (you)
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied August 6th, 2012
yeah im 15 and i started touching my thing when i was about 10 and it does feel good but sometimes i wonder if some of my friends do as well and i cum a whole lot you do when you get older i masterbate maybe twice a day and it feels very good but sometmes i feel bad about it
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied January 30th, 2011
SAVE YOUR SON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
please do not allow him to masturbate.it is one of the greatest addiction.i used to be part of it and it TOTALLY MESSED UP MY LIFE. please save your child.some doctors will tell you it is good for the body.Its all a lie.the themselves do not do it they just read books and the talk.i did it for 10 years and please i would advice you not to allow your son in this act.check this web page for more
http://www.anael.org/english/masturbation/ testimonies.htm
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied April 30th, 2012
thats not true im 11 and i can choose when i do that its fine let him just don't let him do it in public its normal ask any kid in the world if they masturbated they will all say yes its fine don't worry about it he will be a normal kid
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied April 30th, 2012
and if you don't let him he will find a way when your not around he's just being a kid
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 18th, 2011
Of coarse @ virgin.. it could have also been maybe your parents told you not to masturbate and this lead you to do it to get their attention... and because of them saying no it caused you to become addicted to masturbation and it your addiction had nothing to do with your masturbating.

In short, less sarcastic words, there are probably other variables that "messed up your life"
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied February 7th, 2012
Its sooo normal
It is completely normal for children to masturbate. It usually starts around the ages of 3-5. Children explore there bodies and usually find masturbating comforting. Its something to do when there bored, stressed or upset. But in most cases its because there bored.
Its really important however, that your son knows he should do this in a private environment as some children start doing it in public places.
Please tell your son he doesn't have to wait till hes 11 to do it. As child's right to explore should not be suppressed as this is a way of him learning about himself. Just sit him down, tell him what hes doing is in fact perfectly normal, but to do it in private when nobody is around, in his room.
And don't worry about this other boy. They are both young.
Hope this helps x
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied March 21st, 2012
It's nice to read a comment that is right on point with the way I was brought up. I am a mother of three and my middle child which is a three year old female has discovered masterbation. I tell her its normal but to do it in the privavcy of her own room.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied March 22nd, 2012
I started touching myself when i was like 4. I wouldnt even think Of disgusting things, mainly of like sitcom crushes asking girls out on dates. And this strange an new interaction between males and females turned me on, probably because of a natural instinct to find pleasure in reproduction. I was caught before by my mother, who is extremely traditional and catholic. She acted as if what i was doing was horrifying and something to be very ashamed of. She then proceeded to shaming me in front of my father, explaining in detail what she had saw me doing. Ever since that moment, i think, i have felt shame and guilt in thinking dirty thoughts, and there has always been an awkwardness between my parents and i regarding anything sexual. I have also learned to be extremely secretive in masturbating, afraid that i might get caught again. This is just some insight on the effects of shaming a child at an early age.
|
Did you find this post helpful?
12 >>