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Relationships > Relationships and Marriage Forum > Is "I was drunk" an excuse?
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Q: Is "I was drunk" an excuse?
asked by: Larlen on June 30th, 2008
Experienced User
we've been separated for a while now but were at a party last night and he put me in a corner and started touching me - no kiss because I turned away. He continued to touch me for the rest of the night . . . serveral times.

I suspect he wasn't as drunk as he claimed to be. He seemed aware and normal with his actions. We're supposed to be "friends"

Is this an excuse to say well maybe he was just bored or something or is it a cover up for something more he may want to say?
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Maddie34
replied on June 30th, 2008
Moderator
No one on here can say for sure what he's thinking, just him.

To be honest, whatever weird thing is on his mind doesn't matter. Do you just want to be friends? Are you still looking for more? If you're not, then make sure he gets that.

You didn't want to kiss him, and you sure as heck don't need to put up with him touching you if that's not what you want. Drunk or not, he should at least respect you and your decision to be just friends.
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Larlen
replied on June 30th, 2008
Experienced User
actually he made the decison to be friends and I didnt kiss him because I was afraid that the next day I would hear that it meant nothing which is what Im taking the "I was drunk" for
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Maddie34
replied on June 30th, 2008
Moderator
Ah, I guess I hopped into this mid-story. Sorry.

You're either just friends or you're more. You are going to have to ask him to make a decision. If he says just friends again then I wouldn't allow him to pull something like that again.
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Larlen
replied on June 30th, 2008
Experienced User
When I asked him if he rememberd what he did he said no he was drunk then he added but anyway "we're friends"

The complicated thing is why would he lie about being drunk? Ive known him since childhood and I know when he's being dishonest.

He still stares at me, makes sure to say hello and if he does from a distance he would go as far as to come over and say it again with a handshake. He says bye more than once also anytime he leaves our group meetings and right after the break-up I never communicated with him but he would send me a message one day out of the blue, then another one 2 weeks later, then another one out of the blue 2 more weeks later.

Its all very confusing to me. This was my first serious relationship and we've liked each other since 11 years old. We grew up together.
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CarolDiane
replied on July 1st, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Well, including me for the most part, I come from a family of drink and be merry standards. I even married two ( my last two) the last one was sober for 18 years and went off the wagon. My mother has been sober now for 14 years.
I will not claim to be a pro by any means here. But, I will say this much. And that is, I feel and always have that alcohol is a kinda truth serum. You get bold and "Take Me On, I can handle it" type personallity. I feel that alot of inner feelings come out at this time that are normally struggling inside of you. Make any sense? So, it is really hard to say. I will go off the deep end here and say, I am reading into this that he still has some very real feelings for you. Just does not want you to know for some reason.

Carrie
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Larlen
replied on July 1st, 2008
Experienced User
Thanks alot for your reply. Even though I can't know what he was thinking it really gave me some insight and helped alot. Thanks.
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worrywart01
replied on July 1st, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
I dont know if alcohol is a truth serum or not..that could be for some cases but I went through a similar situation that shes going through though the guy and I never dated...he would pretty much promise me the world when he was drunk, told me he loved me, wanted us to be together...and I was really into him but come to find out, the next morning..things were the exact same between us...just friends...and he would pull the "i dont really remember last night" all the time..it got really old...so, I've personally learned to not take everything someone does/says while drunk seriously..bc some people turn into a completely different person while intoxicated and while it isn't an excuse(if you cant handle drinking, or know your limits dont drink and use it as an excuse) they'll still use it as one...

though it sounds like you said this guy wasn't drunk and was doing these things knowingly...either way, if you two are just friends..he doesn't need to drink and use alcohol as a way to take advantage of a situation...it just causes confusion
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CarolDiane
replied on July 1st, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Perspective
[Quote] He still stares at me, makes sure to say hello and if he does from a distance he would go as far as to come over and say it again with a handshake. He says bye more than once also anytime he leaves our group meetings and right after the break-up I never communicated with him but he would send me a message one day out of the blue, then another one 2 weeks later, then another one out of the blue 2 more weeks later. [End Quote]

It is the things he is doing when he is not drunk that I guessing at my conculsion. He is doinng this she said even at other times. Like looking at her and wanting to be accnowledged when he say hello and goodbye. Sounds like he is going out of his way to be noticed. My conculsion was based really on the sober times. I know that everyone is different and reacts differently to alcohol. But, most that I have been close to all my life, the real person seems to come out when they are drunk.
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Stillstanding
replied on August 5th, 2008
New User
Drunk never an excuse
Being drunk is never an excuse in by books. It's bunch of bull and anybody who uses it as an excuse is a freaking creep.
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Users who thank Stillstanding for this post: Mabel 
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