either gay or just not into you or maybe not into sex...it could be lots of things...

At one time I meet up with my buddies and they've introduced me to a couple whose a close friend of one of my buddies. I got myself talking with the wife and in our conversation his name was brought up since her best friend was a former GF of my former BF in high school till they got to college. She told her that when they were committed, her best friend was having the same problem. The only difference is that, in all those years they've been together, they never had sex, till her best friend broke off with him and moved to another State. So, is he gay? I just wanted to know cause he still shows that he cares for me every time we meet even if I feel that he's just showing this as a front for the benefit of our mutual friends.

Not very likely. I've never found a woman's instincts on a man's sexual preference to be correct. Inevitably every woman is shocked to find out the man they thought they knew is gay or straight or bi and the closer a woman is the more clueless she seems to be to which side of the fence he's on. Additionally for an honestly gay man sex with a woman is an incredible task to accomplish once in your life, much less twice every year. The issue here isn't what he prefers so much as what he doesn't. He may love you very much and care about you but he isn't interested in sex with you and that's not acceptable to you. Regardless of the reason it is unlikely to change in any significant manner after you've been with him this long. You're much better off focusing your energy on men who are interested in sex with you.