This might be long as I tend to ramble... sorry. Here goes. First of all, let me state that I'm bi-polar, diagnosed 5 years ago, and not medicated. (I have a lot of procrastination/memory issues due to ADHD as well...) But I do know my disorders in and out and I try to deal with them the best I could. Anyway, I'm curious to see what peoples' opinions are on a guy I've met as even though I have it, I'm not familiar with symptoms in men. I'm sure it's similar to my symptoms but I still want opinions from those who are with bi-polar men...
OK, I met a guy about a month ago, got each others' numbers and have been talking only through phone for the last month. (Haven't met up again) Anyway, within the first week, he got really "clingy" and defensive all the time. Let me first say that I'm used to clingy and insecure people. Most of my friends are that way, and so was my last ex (4 years) so clingy people don't even phase me anymore. Anyway, at first I played along, thinking it was flattering and cute. But within the first week, he'd questioned how many guys I was talking to (twice... in an accusing manner), flipped out EVERY time I didn't answer his text within a few minutes, constantly texts me with things like "Are you done with me..." or "I guess you don't want to talk to me anymore" when I don't answer him right away, and has "broken up" with me 3 or 4 times... Blown up on me on a full scale... And we're not even dating! And yes, that was only in the first week! Everytime he'd hang up on me after an outburst, he'd call or text back not even ten minutes later obviously still wanting to talk... Honestly, that first week, I thought it was amusing and entertaining. I know it sounds mean but he was being SUCH a baby that I couldn't help but sit back and watch his tantrums and chuckle... I'd even texted him once saying "You're so bi-polar" and he'd asked why, and I told him because he hates me one minute and wants me the next. He didn't say anything after that, so I'm not sure if he is and knows and just doesn't want to tell me, or if he's unaware that he is, if he is at all.
Anyway, the same things go on every few days. There was a time we didn't talk for a week because we had a blow out and he texts me one day with "Why aren't you talking to me?" I was like WHAT??? YOU hung up on ME a week ago! Crazy. So I'm not sure if he's just insecure and depressed or if he's bi-polar.
Anyway, so I have this issue with him and disappearance acts. I feel obligated to answer all his texts because if I don't, he flips out on me. But every time I've tried to reach him either by text or call, he'll have an excuse like he fell asleep or what not for why he didn't respond or answer. Anyway, so a few days ago we have yet another blow out... (And mind you, we BARELY know each other and we're fighting like a married couple!) I go off on him telling him he lacks understanding, his disappearing act bothers me, and I'm tired of never being able to have an ACTUAL conversation with him outside of texting and a bunch of other stuff. An hour of text fighting, he calls me and we have an hour long talk and goes on to explain his whole persona to me. How he's really needy and wants to be called, how he wants ME to call HIM, how he's basically just like a girl (that was his words, not mine) and how he HATES calling people and he basically has a phone phobia... I'm like ok... Understandable. So finally, we have a REAL conversation on the phone after almost a month of talking, and I feel like ok, great, we're getting somewhere. He makes a "promise" to me that he'll try harder to be more understanding and open with me, if I can understand his situation and be more "calling" to his emotional needs basically. So ok, we have a good night and I notice he's a lot sweeter and attentive that night, and up until yesterday evening. Then he texts me with "hey". I respond saying what's up hun and he doesn't respond so I gave him a call. No answer. So I jokingly text him with "Hellooo you want me to call you and stuff but you never answer. I'm going to bed tho, so good night." OK, to me, that's not "accusing" or anything is it? I know people misinterpret texts but to me, that wasn't anything to flip out about is it?
So I get a text this morning saying "I fell asleep but if you wanna be a (b word) about it have a good life. I opened up to you the other night and you're still saying the same f'd up comments". OK. I get him. Really I do. I could have lived not saying what I said. But that's pretty nervy for someone who gets mad when I can't answer his text within a 2 minute timeframe... (And he's done it at least 20 times this month... I've done it ONCE!) What the heck??? So I wake up to the text, then his phone call saying how "I'm still making the same f'd up comments and how he really fell asleep." (I'd commented to him before about how it seems whenever I call him at night he never answers but he can text me all day? Just seems odd to me. Most people would assume wife, but I know he's not married, he's a single father... I guess I'm just not that trusting because I don't know him very well...) Anyway, so he says "If that's how you're going to act, then you can just walk away!" And he hung up on me. (I'm used to those tantrum hang ups by now)
I know, anyone's first assumption would be controlling, abusive, and too much work. And if it's this hard before we've even actually started hanging out, then it must be way worse if we actually got together. But being that I have my own mood swings and I'm not an easy relationship myself, I'm a VERY understanding person. I'm so easy going and forgiving of people and that's one of my major problems... For some reason I get along better with mentally screwed up people... lol. He's shown no signs of actually being abusive, just really more of being a big whining baby! I know most people would be like, ok... next... But I'm really one of the most forgiving people on the planet. Don't get me wrong, if I'm obviously being mistreated I can easily walk away from a situation... But this guy is amusing the heck out of me. I'm starting to totally get what my ex meant about MY mood swings...
Anyway, we most likely will never go anywhere. I'm just curious to know if this is how a bi-polar guy acts since I tend to kind of have the same symptoms. Right now it's just kind of entertaining to me. I know it sounds mean but what does he expect? We barely know each other and he's flipped out on me so many times and "broken up" with me numerous times in the past 3-4 weeks... How can I not be entertained at the silliness of it all... I'm not laughing at his misfortunes or anything, but when you're constantly hanging up on me and going off on me, that's something that can obviously hurt most people... I just choose to laugh it off rather than be hurt about it.
Sooo... opinions? Is this guy bi-polar or is it something else? I mean he's a cool guy overall but he's just really moody and "trips" over EVERYTHING! I'm bi-polar and not that bad so I can't really make the call... (not to mention I'm lacking a PhD... lol) I'm hoping I can get good insights here being as this is a bi-polar forum. I'd rather not get advice to "run" though because please understand, I'm bi-polar, and I'd hate for people to give others advice to "run" from me just because I'm bi-polar. I'm more looking to get a feel from others how bi-polar men act. Thank you!