Hi. I'm 17 years old and I live with my mom (my parents are divorced). Ever since I've been getting older, I've noticed my mother having irrational thoughts and behaviors. It makes me wonder weather something isn't right. There have been a series of events, which I recently strung together. It began when my mom filed for divorce because she claimed said my father used her for money. A year later, she ostracized her own parents- on the grounds that they used her to come to America, and intentionally ruined her life when she was younger. She's been threatening to stop paying for my brother's phone bill- to stop speaking to him etc. because she feels he is just like my father. In reality, he is just a grown man trying to start his life; he's getting married in a few months and just moved out of the house. He is struggling for money and needs a little bit of a jump start. Since he took the extra dining-table and 'tricked' my mom into paying for groceries, she has not stopped talking about how terrible of a son he is. I cannot recall how many incidents there were where she accused me of scheming against her too- trying to 'ruin her life'. She labels people as 'good' and 'bad' and any association with a 'bad' person ruins a 'good' person's reputation. For example- she never told me I can't see my father, or my grandparents, but she has made it very clear to me that she thinks it is a low thing to do. She's sneaky- she watches my brother and me out the window when we leave the house to make sure we're not going to visit our grandparents.
If this does not seem like enough evidence--
One of the scariest night of my life happened almost two years ago. I can't forget it (although she denies it ever happened) and I cannot forgive her. My mom once bought a very nice white jacket from Macy's. It was relatively expensive. For three months, she left the jacket in her closet. When was the right weather to wear it, she took it out and found some sort of markings on it(she thinks it's lipstick and eyeliner, I'm not sure). I was sleeping at a friends that night studying for finals. At 12 in the morning, I get a phone call. She called me names that a daughter should never be called and threatened me. I had never felt so terrible in my life; she thought I did it to spite her. I said I was sorry, although I didn't do anything and turned my phone off for the night. The next morning, I found four voicemail. My mom was screaming and crying; she was honestly disgusted with me. There were a few threats to never let me back into the house. So I went to my brothers apartment the next night. When I didn't come home, she called me repeatedly asking where I was. When I finally told her I was staying at my brother's, she almost called the police on him and sued for kidnapping charges.
These type of behavior is almost normal for her now-- I am constantly being accused, threatened, although recently I have become her personal phycologist: "my son is using me, I have no money, no one cares about me, I want to die..."
I don't feel like I'm seventeen.
In spite of her episodes, Thank G-d, my mother has never hit me. However, sometimes I wish she would, because I think it would hurt me less. Although I have overheard my grandparents say my mother was 'sick' I cannot tell if perhaps I am just too sensitive- perhaps this is a fault of my own. My brother has tried to explain my mom's situation to me, but he's so scared of hurting me that he is extremely vague- I want to know wether or not I need to become more accepting of my mother's flaws, or if there a flaw in my own personality and behavior.
I am 52 years old and have Bipolar ll, A.D.D., fibromyalgia too. I grew up w both parents being Bipolar, but didn't know it. It made it so hard to understand them:/. Honey, it sounds to me like your mom is paranoid, always accusing people of setting her up in some way, for failure & hurt:(
My own mom disowned me 16 months ago for supposedly breaking her trust.... I have no idea what is going thru her head!! She hasn't spoke to my brother in 12 years. He hates her & says he considers her dead (man, talk about intense feelings!!).
In some ways , it's a blessing because she was constantly hurting my feelings... And never apologizing either.
I got involved in my church. I love God and have a " Family of choice", who love me very much;)
My suggestion to you is a few things.
1. Any chance you guys can get to family therapy?
2. The Bipolar Alliance has a support group for the mentally ill & their loved ones.
3. This would help u understand her better. Even if she won't go.. You go, you'll feel better after being educated on what is going on w her, and how u can deal w it, w/o losing your mind & patience yourself. Hang in there, it DOES GET BETTER;)