Medical Questions > Womens Health > Sexual Health - Women Forum

Intercourse hurts every time and I cant feel sex !

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Okay so I HAVE had sex more than enough that it should not hurt anymore. Every single time my man goes inside me it hurts like crazy and I feel nothin but discomfort from it. and i can only do certain postions with him so it doesnt hurt that much (me being on top). if he is standing and im sitting with my legs open it hurts like hell and i cant even handle it. Once he goes inside me i do not feel ANY pleasure what so ever every single time we did it. The only thing I can feel that feels good is when he does oral on me. I also think I have something else wrong with me. My vagina is deformed and I think thats the problem. Besides having big lips (I know lots of girls do) My clit is at the VERY top an its kinda small. Not the very very top but the top is the only place i have a good sensation that feels good. When I go to the bottom of my vagina I feel absoloutly no pleasure at all and I know thats where your clit is suppose to be.. When I look where my hole in my vagina is I see a lot of red tissue by it thats all scrumbled together like it was a birth defect? Im not sure but I know even if I put more than one finger in my vagina it hurts like hell and im tired of it!!! I want to feel sex and have it feel good like a normal person!! Can anyone help me figure this out? Can I have surgery to help me feel sex and not have it hurt anymore?

PLEASE HELP!!!
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First Helper ohcalcuta
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replied July 1st, 2011
Experienced User
what size penis does your man have?
his penis may be too large for you.
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replied July 1st, 2011
His penis isnt like huge its pretty normal size ive had smaller and it still hurt the same so I know its not the size of it.
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replied July 1st, 2011
Extremely eHealthy
well actually women find sexual satisfaction NOT IN THE VAGINA because there r not many sexual nerves there, the only thing u might want to search for INSIDE your vagina is your G-Spot; most likely 70% up front,SO UNDER YOUR urethra (pee hole) and inside but on the top side of your vagina u should be able to feel a little bump somewhat ramp shape, if not a few will be further back along that line under your urethra in the middle but more yet in the back near the opening to your bladder. TRY and find this on your own with lubricant and see if u can find and enjoy. now at first u might feel like u need to pee but just work past that first feeling.
NOW NEXT THING ; women actually get sexual satisfaction from the inner labia (u like oral there)
and of course your clitoris which is very sensitive and your size is not unusual and oral gently or fingering will give u the most satisfaction. that is why when u r on top it is better.
NOW NEXT THING u need to help your man understand what u need and u should try the same for him.
NOW AS TO TOOO TIGHT HOLE, well wait till after u have worked out success with what is pleasurable;
your labia minora, clitoris, and the largest sex organ in the body is your BRAIN
If after a few weeks , things r not better because u r more ready when being entered. THEN see your Dr and there r a few options for making your discomfort much better.
if u have insurance , that will help
hope this helps, a bit long
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replied July 1st, 2011
ive never felt pleasure in fingering myself at all even if my man does it.ive tried finding the g-spot numerous times but have never felt anything like it. I know I want to see a doctor soon but i really dont know which one to go too. Thanks for your help though I really think the only option is to just go to a doctor and see if he could take a look... lol awwwkwardd! but ill deal with it.
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replied July 1st, 2011
Extremely eHealthy
if u want to try to find G-Spot; by feeling for the flow of urine as when on the toilet with finger, the flow is moving thru the urethra, most likely up front under the entrance to the urethra. but do try and educate bf as u will always have the most sensation everywhere else anyway. some like anal but it will most likely have to be an acquired thing. and it will help if u r ready for a specula and u can ask for shot in the area a local anesthetic
others have had this and found workable solutions
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replied July 4th, 2011
Community Volunteer
You are describing two different problems:

1) Painful penetration
2) Anorgasmia (primary anorgasmia in your case as you never experienced an orgasm)

Painful penetration will normally be diagnosed and treated by your ObGyn. if you are sure your hymen is broken, you are well lubricated and your partner is taking it very slowly and makes sure you are well aroused and ready, speak to your ObGyno about it. Penetrative sex are however not the source for orgasms.

Orgasms come from your clitoris. Your vagina does not have a lot of nerve endings, only around the entrance. Your clitoris is the single organ in the human body with the most nerve endings per square inchh and about 8000 nerve endings do send sexual pleasure signals to your brain.

Your clitoris is at the top of your vulva, where your inner and outer lips comes together. The inner lips are 'fused' to the clitoris on both sides. Your clitoris can be anything from.5 inches to 2 inches (or more) above your vaginal entrance. This is why so few women orgasm during intercourse (do not believe what you see in movies, on TV or read in books, it is all fiction). Our clitorises just do not get the stimulation it needs for us to orgasm during intercourse. once you learn to orgasm during masturbation, there are various techniques you can learn to change that during intercourse.

it is however worrisome that you cannot pleasure yourself when rubbing your clitoris. It does sound like your partner is doing it during oral sex. You just stop too soon before you get to orgasm. So try to masturbate by just rubbing your clitoris until you orgasm. Normally we will rub over, around or next to our clitoris, not directly on our exposed clitorises. You can do this with one finger, two fingers, three fingers or the palm of your hand. Small movements moving all the skin underneath your hand over your clitoris Stay away from penetrating your vagina during masturbation, as it is painful for you.

Getting a small clitoral vibrator can also help you getting to your first orgasm. Remember to allow tension and stress to build in your muscles. Relaxing is the wrong thing to do as the buildup to an orgasm is the buildup of stress, tension and energy inside your pelvic muscles. Orgasm is the release of this tension in highlu pleasurable waves of contractions, heat and energy release.
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