Medical Questions > Mental Health > Sleep Disorders Forum

Insomnia after breakup (Page 1)

hi guys. for my whole life i always got 8 hours or more of sleep for the most part. i'd sleep at like 11pm-1am and wake up around 10. this month i broke up with my gf cause it wasnt working out. since last week i had trouble sleeping i think i got 2 days of 8 horus of sleep all last week.

now this week every single day i have not had a good sleep. starting sunday night. i laid down in bed around 11 oclock. i fell asleep around 4oclock and woke up at 8. during the time i was in bed my mind would be thinking. and i would get up and use the computer and watch tv. so i woke up at 8 with a headache. i tried to take a nap during the day but i couldnt so i figured i might as well stay awak so i could get a good night of sleep on monday night.

so monday night same story.. lay down in bed around 10 this time cause i thought id be able to sleep since i only got four hours the previous day. couldnt sleep around 5 woke up at 8:30.

once again i think i should be able to sleep tuesday night considering i barely had any hours of sleep for the past 2 days. this time i even take 2 pills of nyquil. and i go to bed at 10pm, fall asleep at 4am, wake up at 9am. a good 5 hours. the most i'd get for the whole week.

so yesterday.. i couldnt take a nap even though i somewhat tried. (which i thought would help me sleep at night) i went out for a walk i bought tylonol pm at cvs. that night i took the tylonol. it made me drowsy. i went to bed without taking it to see if i could sleep. after an hour i decide to take the medicine at 11:30pm. i lay down in bed remembering the last time i looked at the clock it was around 12am. i feel like im half asleep half awake laying there for what felt like an hour. i look at the clock and it says 3am. i must have fell asleep. so i put my head down, close my eyes, and for the life of me i couldnt sleep again. til 6:30 in the morning. Then i woke up at 9:30..

what the heck is wrong with me? ive never been like this. im depressed now, stressed, and worried. im 19 years old. my mom is no help. she doesnt want me taking sleeping pills. she said it could be just a phase and that this happend to her before. i dont know though.

what do you guys think?
Did you find this post helpful?
First Helper ozz08
|

replied January 26th, 2010
i am actually going thru the samething. my emgagement just fell apart after 2yrs. dont take anything it doesnt help and you dont want to get dependent on them everyone keeps telling me this is a phase and i just need to give it time we can keep intouch thru email i'll let you know my progress and you can tell me your but the important thing to remember is you are not alone i know it feels like you are...
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied December 11th, 2013
Here's some help.

I find alcohol and exercise help. Go to your local pool and swim at least 20 lengths. Wear goggles. For better results swim more lengths. Being in the water relaxes your body, the exercise relaxes your body and mind. Go home drink a few glasses of wine. Alcohol is a sedative but too much will prevent you from deeper stages of REM sleep. The next day make sure you eat healthy. Vegetables are the purest form of hydration and your body will absorb water and nutrients. Continue to eat healthy and exercise. Don't do it for the person that broke up with you. Do it for you. Because you respect yourself and want whats best for you. Read "the tipping point" by malcolm gladwell. Be prepared to witness huge change in your life from small changes.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied February 2nd, 2010
Sorry to hear about your break up. Yeah, it's tough when you go through those things. I take it especially hard, even after a short period of time. The last break up I went through was an extremely short-lasted relationship, but I still couldn't sleep properly for like a week. Some people tend to take it harder than others, and some just shake it off. It depends on how much the person cared for the other, how quickly they bounce back from trauma, and how deep the wounds go.

I'd agree and say that "this too shall pass". Stay strong. The only reason I got through my stuff was the same reason I have my username as it is. Smile

Cheers friend
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied July 20th, 2010
insomnia after breakup
I understand how you feel, i am going through the same situation. me and my gf of 2 and a half years broke up about 3 months ago and ever since i have not gotten a decent nights sleep. all i do when i lay down is think about her and wish we were back togeather (even though it was a mutual break up) i thought after 3 months i would be getting better but to tell you the truth it feels like it may be getting worse. i will not take anything just for the simple fact that i dnt think it would help and i also do not want to become dependent, so i work out and run and just hope that this cycle will end. my advice to you would be just try and wait it out, thats what i am trying to do and im not giving up on it yet. your not alone bro.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied August 10th, 2010
Take a sleeping pill, sip some wine. Give it some time, once your over it, stop taking the sleeping pills and eventually you'll come around.
I just went through a mutual breakup after 2 and a half years as well. Then I found out she was cheating on me, it wasn't mutual after that. Sleep doesn't come easy, and it's been a month. Keep working out and hang out with as many people as possible. Talk out your problems with a select few, and time will heal all. I know it's going to take me some time too. Sleeeep!
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 6th, 2010
the pain will end...hopefully
Well, third time lucky, but my partner suggested we go our seperate ways after our 2 and a half year relationship. (another 2 and a 1/2 year relationship).Anyways it's been 2 weeks and I have averaged 3 hours a night, and I am walking around on hightened alert still, still able to function but my mind is fizzling out of control, and my heart is smashed. See, when I met her, I was not good with money, and I did not have a future paved, and I was a lil out of shape physically. Now I have money saved in the bank for a house, I work full time plus do University, and I play football (australian rules football) so as a partner she has guided me so far in life, and now for her to be gone, I feel lost, empty and just mega alone. The reason we went our seperate ways is that I did not challenge her, I was the one getting all the life lessons from her, but she was already established and in control of her life, so there was nothing I could do to make her amazed by me and give her some kind of guidence in life. So shattering as it is, we were just not right for each other, and its hard to even think I will meet someone as intelligent as her, with as much money as her, as sexy and good looking and naturally beautiful as her, so it's a struggle to see how I will get out of this. But, she was here in my life for a reason, so I guess I got to accept she was here to improve my life, and set me up on a new path with money, education and health.
Good luck people. Hope it all improves for us all.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 28th, 2010
I am going through the same thing as well. We just broke up after a six year on and off relationship. We've been best friends and everything. He found someone else, and is telling me that he doesn't know who he wants to be with, me or her. But I can't just sit around and wait for him to come around, because he said he won't stop talking to her. Plus the last couple of years have been long distance, and this girl lives where he is now. I cannot sleep and can barely eat and I get really dizzy. This guy was supposed to be the one, and I thought we were soulmates and would make it no matter what. Evidently I was wrong, and feel stupid about it. But I'm glad I took the chance on love, as horrible as it feels now, I learned a lot from being with him. I wish there was a quick fix, but I firmly believe that time is the only thing that will heal this wound, so we best all wait it out.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied June 19th, 2011
hi everyone, it's nice to read that other people are having this problem and I'm not crazy, this is my first night without sleep but didn't get much sleep yesterday night as I was worried about what my partner of six years was doing at the pub, found out this after noon she had sex with a random guy from the pub, since then I can't eat or sleep and feel like being sick all the time, I know I will just have to move on but I just feel so hollow, I've had many breakups before but I have never felt like this, maybe be because we have a 4 year old child and I'm still going to have to see her from time to time, going to take a week off work and have some fun hanging with my brother so I hope this helps as I'm really sad and don't know howto deal with this.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied August 5th, 2011
another 2.5 yr relationship gone
I also got out of a 2 1/2 year relationship in the beginning of june 2011. a week before my bday. it was mutual, but now i miss him, even though i know we're probably better off this way... i had coffee with him today and he was talking about all the girls he's texting and he's apparently best friends with a girl that i was jealous of thru the last few months of our relationship but didn't say anything at the time. apparently she's now his "pretend gf." basically wingwoman. she has a bf of 3 yrs, and she loves him so i'm not worried about that but i'm getting jealous. she has the relationship with him that i always wanted, but he just wasn't that person when he was with me... anyway, its been almost 2 months, i've now got a really awesome bf whom i love unconditionally but i still see him as my bff (we've been best friends for 5 or 6 yrs) and 2 f*** buddies on the side (which i've NEVER done before)... ugh i'm disgusted with myself and jealous about him and i work a 9.5 hour shift in 4 hours and I CANNOT FALL ASLEEP!!! i'm so stressed out. i'm glad to finally find ppl in the same boat as me. i know i shouldn't be leading on my best friend but i've tried explaining this to him and he REFUSES to hear it. he wants to get married but he's just not mature enough in many aspects. idk what to do. break ups suck. a lot. Will somebody please let me know if they find the answer to how to deal with this??? Good luck everyone.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied September 5th, 2011
I would like help with this one to.My husband of 10 yrs announced to me a week ago that he was leaving me and our children.No explanation apart from he felt down.We have mutual friends that he keeps going to see and every time he does they contact me......i dont want to know how he feels......i cant sleep,everytime i eat it comes back up,i have no family close by(nearest being 250 mile away)the only friends i have are mutual friends.I have had to give up my college course as i can no longer afford it so feel like the last yr of studying was for nothing.im so stressed out,usual emotions,anger,hatred,tears,paranoia.It feels like he has has just took everything from me in 1 go and im struggling to support my children through this as i cant function normally.Please help.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied September 6th, 2011
In your case yoga can help you. There are some very simple but effective techniques in yoga which will help you overcome this problem. The 2 most effective techniques are bhramari pranayama and abdominal breathing.

Kirit Thacker,
Sr. Yoga Consultant,
Divine Wellness.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 11th, 2011
Sleep after breakups is hard
I'm going through this kind of crap for the second time in three years. My problem is that I can get right to sleep, but I wake up about 4 hours later (no matter when I fell asleep... 10 PM, 3 AM, doesn't matter) and toss and turn the rest of the night. I've tried a few things that kind of help. Melatonin is an herbal supplement available at any drugstore that is natural and not habit forming. Problem with it is that your body builds up a tolerance for it very quickly so after about a month it really doesn't do anything. Exercise helps as well although it's probably a better remedy for those who have trouble falling asleep than those who have trouble staying asleep. Avoiding caffeine has helped me some too. I don't mean avoiding it in the evenings, I mean all day every day 24/7 no caffeine. Makes mornings really hard but helps a little bit at night. Sorry to hear about everyone's problems but at least we're definitely not alone. And I'm living proof that you can get burned, bounce back, and get into a new relationship... only to get burned again haha. Still , giving it time and not talking to the other person always works. Good luck everyone.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 20th, 2011
I agree with shplog.
Take something temporarily. I have taken tons of things out there, but I just don't take them all the time. Its nice to get the extra sleep those night. I feel better if I can't sleep and I take something because the next morning I am not so tired. I have taken prescription sleeping pills, melatonin, and BioDream. Sometimes with the sleeping pills I did feel tired if I didn't give myself enough sleep time. Melatonin was a hit or miss. Sometimes it work and sometimes it doesn't but it is natural. So is Biodream which is why I tried that. I found a sample for it online. I think it works pretty well too.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 22nd, 2011
Well, i wish i had somone positive feedback for everyone but my situation is quite the same. I ended a 4 yr relationship back in 2007, and my sleep has never recovered. Before the breakup i had slept an average of 8 hrs a night for 27 years. But these last 4 years have been rough. I too thought it would just be a phase, that my sleepless nights were only temporary. Despite every effort on my part to over come the insomnia, it appears to be part of who i am now Sad I have had to accept that i am tired everyday, and do not get to enjoy my life to it's fullest because of it. The earlier post where someone stated "Some people tend to take it harder than others, and some just shake it off. It depends on how much the person cared for the other, how quickly they bounce back from trauma, and how deep the wounds go." I believe i cared too much about him. And even though i'm married to someone new and am happy, i still cannot get enough sleep and when i do it's not quality sleep. So that's now my life, tired all the time and my memory is shot. But i'm still searching for answers, which of course is what lead me here. I hope we all find something that works for us.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 13th, 2011
Insomnia after a break up
Oh no, I was hoping this would get better soon. I'm averaging 3-4 hours sleep a night and feel sick my stomach is so empty. My long distance relationship is ending after 5 years. I initiated it because I felt it was going stale and thought he would convince me otherwise, how stupid, he now wants time to finish his MBA and he works long hours so is now saying there is no time for me. I can't stop crying and have realised how much I love him. Break ups are horrendous. I'm not giving this up without a fight, maybe I'll sleep better when I know I have done everything I can to sort this out. Good luck to us all!
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied January 7th, 2012
Post break up sleeping patterns
My ex-partner and I recently ended a 3 year relationship. It had been clear from the start that we were very different, however working in a foreign country with little options for finding people our age group we settled for each other. We must have " broken up" about once every two months during the last two months but because of a lack of support and options she would come back, and I would accept her because the stability and convenience of having a companion in foreign country meant I could focus on what I there to do....work and save. However we came to a mutual place now where I want to a suitable individual to settle down with, and she now has the support to move on.

Its been about 8 days since the decision to break up and the most I have slept has been 4 hours a night. We are still sharing an apartment until she moves (in a few days) which doesn't help matters at all. During one particular night I felt as I was experiencing a panic attack. My heart would pound viciously as if I have been given a shot adrenalin. When I tried reading I would have micro-sleeps every minute or so, only to jilted back to a state of wide eyed and awake. it was absolute torture. I tried sleeping on the couch, instead of the bed and it helped. So step 1 for me perhaps should be - buy a new bed.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied March 13th, 2012
Even though it was just over a year, it felt like so much more..
I'm on Day 4, after being completely blindsided, and told he wasn't "interested" in me anymore. The first 2 days, I had an intense work schedule and kept the blinders on, and didn't even acknowledge what had happened. Yesterday, my first day off, I got upset, I didn't fall asleep until 4:30am, and woke up at 9am. It's currently 2:10am, and no sign of sleep in the near future. During the day, it's easy to stay busy, talking to friends, working, hobbies, but the minute you are in bed, alone, and just thinking, it's miserable. I may take a couple of Benadryl in a few minutes, that tends to knock me out. Getting up can be rough, but since I am off tomorrow, I should be okay.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied March 28th, 2012
break up
my boyfriend just dumped me for younger prettier girl after 3 years of relationship. 3 the happiest years of my life. we were planning marriage etc.
we had some arguments, and i went to visit my family for several days. When I came back he was already with another girl and told me he wasn't happy with me.
i can't sleep, i can't eat,thinking all the time what i had done wrong.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied April 20th, 2012
Unlike the rest of you, my relationship only lasted 4 months but is coming as a surprising blow to my sleep patterns. He turned out to be an enormously manipulative textbook sociopath who was also seeing other people on the side without my knowledge. Accepting that our entire relationship was a lie and fabrication has really taken its toll on top of dealing with job inconsistencies and a [mild] STD he gave me. It's been a month since it ended, I've developed a great outlook and have more self-confidence than ever, but sleep still isn't happening. I can fall asleep just fine but after about 2.5 hours I toss and turn until the alarm goes off. I even have a sleep app on my phone that regulates my movement and REM cycles.. It has always shown me to be an incredibly DEEP sleeper, but now I'm up all night. After a month without sleep I feel as though it's beginning to affect my sanity and ability to cope with the break up. I bought my first ever sleep aid to try out tonight.. I'm hoping that with a few nights of good sleep I'll regain some clarity and control in my life again Smile
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied June 29th, 2013
Can't Sleep
My wife past away 9 years ago.I have had an on and off relationship for the past 5 years each time we break up.The sense of loss creates a reawakening of overwhelming grief. I believe the feelings can be similar to breaking up with a partner.I believe when we sleep our brain uses the days past experience to build up a picture of what tomorrow brings.This creates a problem if we think about our lost relationship.Because we try to sleep and the brain can't build a future if our partner is no longer part of our future.We need to teach our subconscious the reality.This is not easy.Here I am at 3.30am after another break up typing this.Allow yourself a bit of time to think about what you have lost,Think about what you have gained.Do this while in a comfortable place.Change the subject in your head.Challenge your brain with new experiences.Let it digest those instead while you are sleeping watch a comedy,drink water,leave out the caffeine.Change the sheets,warm shower or bath.pamper yourself a bit.If you wake up in the night,make drink.Type some stuff on here.reset your brain and try again.
|
Did you find this post helpful?
12