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Feeling depressed alot of the time, for no reason whatsoever too, I simply think sometimes if I felt half of what I feel, things would improve but, I definitely need answers. I really want answers.

I began to think this was that of something known as a Empath ability or I'm simply half of the time very depressed, I am half of the time very moody person, feeling very misunderstood and sometimes very elated. People see me as extremely moody.

I get depressed very deeply and it's in a very short amount of time, I never understood why I was sad, apart from the fact I'm on the internet talking to people all day and realise I need to sort my head out. Half of the time I feel I'm not wanted or people simply too sad to talk to me. I don't understand them.

I feel a craving for deep love, especially with brothers, sisters, mother, I feel I must nurture everyone and I feel never happy with my life. I feel teased, unhappy, sad, picked on, and I always feel like I want more. I always wanted love as a child, I never felt loved as I felt often I had to get lost in my head to sort my head out.

I feel insane most of the time anyway, like someone is inside my head or telling me things. I don't feel happy, I often feel misunderstood or sad or like mother or lover or anyone don't love me. I am often very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, depressed and lonely
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First Helper Vaedrian
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replied January 9th, 2012
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have you been to a psychiatrist and told them all of this? im thinking it sounds like depression, but im no doctor.

however, i am here if you need to talk...
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replied January 10th, 2012
It has been difficult seeing a psychiatrist, often I miss the appointments but yes, still things slowly improved over the weeks for this I am grateful.

I wonder if I can return doctors when it seems the woman at the counter who arranges them kinda pushes me away, saying I'm too shallow for seeing the doctor or have been missing the appointments, but then I wonder if it's really any of her business.
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replied January 10th, 2012
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it really isnt any of her concern. what is the reason though, for you missing the appointments?
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replied January 10th, 2012
Depression mostly, having to deal with it, I'm nervous of going back because I hate confrontations.
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replied January 18th, 2012
Vaedrian. I am the same as you. I have the same feelings and the same deep, deep depression I can reach quickly for no reason. I also have thoughts that I feel someone else is saying and sometimes I feel like I have a sudden moment of clarity where my real self cuts in an says "you are slowly losing your mind." I am never, ever happy with my life. I feel like I endlessly nurture people and do everything for everyone, running myself down until I have nothing left to give. I also feel like I cannot get enough love. I just want someone to see me and feel all the things I feel and to understand and feel bad for me. I get mad because sometimes I feel like other people cannot feel. Not the way my insane brain can.

Answers: There are none. This is my tenth year of 10 years of psychiatrist and councelors. I don't know how long I was depressed before that but as I look back I am sure it was my whole life. The problem with you and I is that we are wired so incorrectly that I feel our like counterparts rarely seek help. We just hate our lives and are miserable, angry, outbursting, moody people that struggle to keep jobs, family, friends etc. I think that psychiatrists today see whiny rich kids who want drugs. I would guess that out of every 10 times I see a new psychiatrist, and I lay it out for them as it really is, no sugar coating, about 9 out of 10 times they don't know what to say. They are baffled at the rawness I think. They usually conclude that I may be depressed (duh) and think i need to talk about my feelings.

I'm sorry this is long, but my point is that I don't know what they learn in medical school or graduate school but the majority of clinicians cannot fathom what it is like. The majority also seems to think medicine is a temporary fix and that I will someday recover from depression. Riiiight.

My answer is support groups. As a lost, depressed, suicidal, self-hater I finally was dragged to an AA meeting. Yeah, I'm not an alcoholic, but the support level there was unbelievable. And these people cannot have medicine to help them. I would look at any mental health suppport group you can find. If there are none, find an Al Anon group, which is for friends/families of alcoholics. It is weird but like them, I think we only really understand each other. We only really can find help in each other because we are the only ones who truly FEEL the lives each other are trapped in.

I could go on for days. But i have missed dozens of appointmens, didn't pay for 2 years one time, all because i was too depressed to care and hated confrontation so i couldn't fix it.

Feel free to contact me. I hope I helped, even if you just feel like you aren't alone.
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replied January 19th, 2012
Aw bro, thanks so much for your message! It was really appreciated! Yes I have been dealing with depression for some time now, but I have started to make some improvements in myself. I am not so depressed anymore. But I am extremely sorry for you!

I admit, I have been the same way, terribly depressed, also I were judgemental of others and have done it really as a self protective measure. I've wanted to discern people as I feel I have been let down alot and have wanted to save myself from it.

I like you, it was nice to meet sweetie. I wanna get to know myself better too, I'm really sorry for your havoc! It sounds horrible!

I read everything too! I am very thankful to find someone like you! I thank you for all the health and support!
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