Hello I am a 17 year old male and I am posting this message so that I might be able to gain a little insight into some indications as to whether I am giving my partner (girlfriend) the correct treatment. I have been going out with my girlfriend for nearly 4 months now and we like to experiment and fondle each other. As of late I have started to perform oral sex on her, I am primarily focused on her pleasure rather than mine at the moment and because she is quite new to foreplay and such I am not sure if she is reaching her climax. I think there are some indications that I am doing the right job, she tenses her legs around my head and rears her body and groans... but I am a little apprehensive as to ask her if she has reached her climax, after I have finished (or she has stopped shuffling) she seems quite relaxed and appears a little exhausted is this a good indication that I have performed?
The only person that knows is her, and since she is new at it, she might not even know. So describe to her what your orgasm feels like and ask her what her's feel like. It is fairly easy to fake an orgasm, so ask her but do not put pressure on her.
Just tell her that you want to enjoy her orgasm with her and that she should give you a sign when she is reaching orgasm. She should say so or squeeze your head or hand.so that you know not to stop or change what you are doing.
Also tell her that it is not neccisary for her to do this if she does not want to, but that you would appreciate it a lot.
You can often feel a woman orgasm by the way her pelvic muscles rythmically contracts. Put your finger on her anus (on, not in - unless she wants it) or perineum, and you may feel it.
No, no, don't touch her anus. Most women will freak out. It is a sure fire way to kill an orgasm.
Also, it is not true that 'The only person that knows is her.' When a woman has an orgasm it is undeniable. All this talk about her faking it is just that fake.
Give this a try, slide a finger inside of her vagina. During the orgasm you will feel a rhythmic squeezing. Strong at first then less and less.
Or try this, have her masturbate, hold her close, gently touch the outside of her vagina. As the intensity increases, slip your middle finger about 1/6 of the way in. Just half way to the first joint. During the orgasm her vagina will pulse, this causes a small vacuum effect, you will feel your finger being sucked into her. With out a doubt you will know.
Also, notice how she masturbates, what she does, how does she move her hand, have her place your hand in the right place, then you take over, rub her the same way. Together you will learn.
Kristigraham, sounds like you have not had an orgasm. Seriously, you give advice like 'She should say so or squeeze your head or hand.' Most people could not even tell you what planet they are on during an orgasm. It is, as the French say, La petite mort, the little death.
Men and women are not that different. The clitoris is like a small very compact penis. If you rub it it will get hard, if you continue to rub it will throb and she will feel release. Some women try to make it more mysterious. The are only cheating themselves and others of enjoying this simple pleasure.