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Increasing wife's sex drive ?

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Is there anything I can do to help my wife's sex drive? Everything else in our marriage is great, she just has no sex drive. She admits she has no sex drive and says if there were a female viagra, should take it. We now have sex 1x month and that is slowly going down. I have read other threads on here and every other part of our marriage is great. We laugh, have fun, go to dinners, have a great child, it is great. She just has no desire to have sex. And when we do, she admits that she loves it and wishes she could muster up the desire to do it more often Any suggestions?
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replied February 12th, 2010
Especially eHealthy
sandiego619ptloma, Woman's sexual response cycle is not like men's. For a woman she will develop desire only after arousal. She is not like you that are desiring sex when you have an erection. She can be wet and swollen without it even registering that she is aroused.

And that is what you are experiencing - once you arouse her she begins to feel desire. Testosterone is the hormone responsible for the desire. As a teen in puberty or young adult, she had lots of testosterong making her horny. As she got older, her testosterong levels decreased.

Unfortunately there are no approved testosterone treatments yet. It is thought that testosterone will become the female viagra of the future.

So what this means is that you should initiate sex more often. Her desire will follow from that. Make sure you do plenty of foreplay to give her time to catch up with your level of desire to have sex.

Best of luck!
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replied February 15th, 2010
I try to initiate, well I should say, I tried that for several months. You can only be rejected so often before you give up. Here's an example...I took my daughter to SeaWorld yesterday afternoon so that my wife could go and hang out with some of her girlfriends and drink wine. She was able to have the time to herself. My daughter and I went grocery shopping after our fun time and bought some flowers for mom because it was valentine's day. I cooked dinner for us after our daughter went to bed and guess what, she wrapped herself up in her blanket on the couch and became a potato, as usual. I have offered to give her massages, tried to get her to dress up in something sexy (she hasn't done that in a least 18 months even though she has probable 6 or 7 different outfits), tried to be spontaneous, tried to role play, tried to be romantic and anything else, I just can't get her in the mood and quite frankly, I'm at my wits end. What "happily" married couple doesn't have sex on Valentine's day? I mean, we don't have sex on our anniversary, on birthdays, valentine's day, none of the days you think couples would have a little fun. What do I do? How much longer do I stomach this?
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replied February 15th, 2010
Community Volunteer
I think yours is the story of many men...Especially during the child rearing ages...We want it, but we can't remember how good it felt....Believe me, this changes as we age...My husband used to always get me going by coming up behind me or at some moment I didn't expect and saying "Hey Babe, tonight I am gonna take you to heaven" or something like that but much more sexual....Thinking back at that happening, I would go without underwear to help stimulate myself....It would excite me just knowing this...I think I would then look forward to it...I was going to be ravished....He may have had to work to wind me up, but he smiled at the final results....Your wife needs help...She has forgotten what a hot and sexual woman that she is....It's a bad place to be....Frequent sex makes frequent sex....I wish you well....

Caroline
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replied February 17th, 2010
Is anyone aware of any FDA approved or on a short list to be approved by the FDA a female version of Viagra? I see it advertised online, but I don't know how reputable a product it is and see no FDA approval for it. BTW...the frequent sex line is what her OBGYN suggested, but that went in one ear and out the other.
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replied March 17th, 2010
Response
For all those husbands who miss the love of their lives I have a wonderful light at the end of the tunnel story that is true. Many women suffer from a common miss diagnosed problem. I am 53 and my husband is 10 yrs. older and has been begging me for the last 3 years for some good loving-I did not know why I was not interested and could not get there mentally, didn�t ever think about sex or even arouse myself. All women start hormone changes in the body biologically and we are unaware of what is happening, it starts around the mid to late 30s-40s and the age range can be different depending on the women. My husband and I had a hot and amazing sex life and all of a sudden it ended after I was forced to have a hysterectomy. After 5-6 years and him telling me he was not happy and telling me he wanted a divorce last summer at his age I answered a add for a nurse practitioner who specialized in hormone balancing for women. (some gynecologists do not practice thorough blood panels for hormone banaces!) I met with her and we talked and I told here how I felt. We did a thorough blood panel and suspicions discussed were confirmed. I had hypothyroid issues and was not producing any hormones from the thyroid, symptoms are loss of interest of practically every thing emotionally, physically, depression, very low energy levels, cloudiness of the brain and not being able to figure things out, loss of interest in sex and weight gain, she prescribed thyroid medication and said it would take a good month before I started feeling better. I will honestly tell you it took 1 ½ to start feeling better, I actually started spring cleaning the house! My husband sent for a series of cds from AARP of all places about having happy fulfilled sex lives for older couples and I was offended, refused to watch them. After 4 ½ mo. the thyroid meds kicked in completely and something amazing happened to me, he was out of town and I watched the cds in private just before valentines day and it was like someone turned on the passion switch for me, we are now having sex and I feel like I�m in my 20s again, think about it all the time now and can�t get enough. I suggest that women get their full hormone panels done and find the chemical reason why the loss of interest is happening, after a special day you gave her with dinner taking your daughter for valentines day fixing dinner and making it so special she should have responded!. My sister in law found out she had the same problem� I also suggest researching natural ways to enhance performance, we discovered in our search as an older couple to get back to what it used to be, we found men�s penis health also exercises and how to keep it going no matter what the age, books written by doctors. Be encouraged you CAN get it back!
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replied March 2nd, 2014
sounds so very familiar and breaking my heart
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