Dating Forum - In the words of U2 "I can''t live, with or without you.&quo

Relationships > Dating Forum > In the words of U2 "I can''t live, with or without you.&quo

Q: In the words of U2 "I can't live, with or without you."

asked by: radicalchild on July 29th, 2009

Experienced User

Hi.
I'm confused. I'm 17 years old and i have been dating this one guy for the past (almost) 8 months. We are in a commited relationship. My friends and my dad like him a lot, and he is basically the "dream guy" I had in mind. But I've not been all that happy :/ And this sucks..
Let's start off with he is a really great guy, respects me, and so on. Things were good up until the 2 month point...and then it started not feeling as great. He told me he "loved" me, and i guess he meant it, but since then I pressured myself to feel that way for him, and that caused a lot of stress between us, and anger I directed at him (which I only got back from his part).
So, there are communication issues too. But the problem is, one of us starts something the other doesn't like, which only in turn makes the recipient close down. Then it gets distant and cold.
We have tried talking this out numerous tines, about how things are not going that smooth and we have to work on it. We make our best efforts, but then we resort to where we were.
I've thought that maybe ending it would be better for the both of us, but I don't know if I want that either. I'm stressed out in my relationship, but i don't want to let it go necesarily. I feel bored too, and like I want to find someone else sometimes.
But on the other hand, I still want to be with him, I can't sleep at night if he doesn't call, and whenever I'm upset or upset at him, I really want him to know how I feel and for him to understand.
We spend enough time apart, so that is not an issue. I don't know...is this a compatibility issue? Cuz we've tried to fix it so many times, but it doesn't go very far. Any advice would be appreciated, thanks.

Replies(3)

W0LF

replied on July 29th, 2009

Extremely eHealthy

Hey Radicalchild

First off there are a lot of great guys out there but that doesn't mean they're all great for you. You have your own interrests and communication style and passionas in life and Great or not some guys just aren't going to fit.

It sounds as if one or both of you is feeling a little restless in the relationship. At 17 you're prone to short passionate relationships and it's totally healthy to end them and move on to another one.

I'd encounrage you to give it one last try with him if only to prevent any regrets. Try doing stuff with him you haven't done before like camping or taking a class togather or going on a long road trip. See if there's still a spark in there than you can both find.

If that love doesn't come back you shouldn't hesitate to go your seperate ways. Given how fond you are of him I'd suggest you work out a time-out. Take 6 months or so where you're free-agents so you can meet other people and explore but not form any commitments. At the end of that time come back togather and see if feelings have changed. If you find that you miss one another too much you can return to the relationship. If you find you were neglecting other needs or have moved on to something else it will be easier to part as friends.

Users who thank W0LF for this post: radicalchild

pinkie12

replied on August 2nd, 2009

New User

I don't know, it seems like you gave alot of reasons for why you are not happy and should probably just take a break of eachother for a while. Breaking up with ANYONE is hard and sucks. But it's like a special spark during a kiss... you know if it's there or not. right? If you don't feel exactly the same way he does, don't try and convince yourself just because "he's a great guy and your friends and dad like him alot". I'm sure they'll like the next guy that's nice, respectful and makes YOU happy. You're 17. This is just the beginning I hate to say it. Don't just "settle" for anything Smile

You're worth more than that!

Users who thank pinkie12 for this post: radicalchild

Maria V

replied on September 22nd, 2009

Experienced User

In the other words of U2, A Woman needs a Man like a Fish needs a Bicycle.
2 months is too short to be fighting like this, and honestly, I don't think you two love each other, I really think it's just an infatuation. Maybe you guys need a break to think about things and work things out and in the process if you find you still want to be together and try to work out the relationship, by all means go for it. You're 17, don't try too hard to find love.

Users who thank Maria V for this post: radicalchild

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