im wondering whats wrong with my mom

i know a little bit of her background. she was from an alcoholic dad who could be mean. she has always been nice to me sometimes but then other times she says the meanest things such as when i have a problem with a boyfriend she points out all the faults and doesnt even blame the boyfriend but while i am dating him she points out his faults. she also blames me whenever i have a argument with a person that is a backstabber and says i am the one in the wrong. another thing she is always threatening to cut her ties with me but when she is around other people she is sweet as pie. i also know she is a very anxious lady and yesterday when she was at home with family and was getting her hair done she said she needed a glass of wine to calm her down. i dont know if its because of the alcohol or if there is more to why she is the way she is. once when i dated a guy who was abusive she said it was mostly my fault because i didnt know when to be quiet. ( i tend to talk alot but thats no reason for abuse)i am curious if its bpd or bp or just an alcoholic