Littlemg12-honey it's hard when you have people telling you how stupid etc you are..I know it makes you feel you are all those ugly things..I was called stupid, ignorant and all I would be good for is having babies.You know--I believed it when I was little but as I got older I realized I had power to be stronger than my mom..I could overcome all she had laid at my feet.You know what I did overcome because I am here today..
I started cutting when I was in my twenties-it brought me out of reality and lonliness (or so I thought)..But I had a baby and my husband gone alot with his job through the military..I had to be strong..It was very hard..One night I cut so deep I thought it was going to be over..The blood was litteraly dropping and I can see it still in slow motion..I prayed outloud for God to stay the blade and he did-he took it out of my hand..I haven't cut sense..
self confidence is something you teach yourself..You earn it by your strengths..So start teaching yourself to be stronger..You are smart 4.0 is nothing to sneeze at..Sports means you know how to take out that anger-so use your sports to rid yourself of all that negative energy..As you play pray..It is amazing what can happen when you really get into prayer..
Those scars-they will be with you for life..That might be a good thing as a reminder that you do't have to be this hurtful person..That you are stronger and better than those scars represent..Please keep up your therapy..Honey I am here if you want to talk..k

Littlemg12,
I was a cutter from the time I was 12 until I was about 18. I also had a 4.0 and thought poorly of myself. I know there are a lot of people out there who will say "just stop" or "do something to take your mind off of it" (as if you don't have enough extra curricular activities). I had the same thing. I started thinking back and wondering why I stopped in the first place... (after all I still think about cutting every now and then). I think the main thing that made me stop was my future. I always tell people you have no control over your past, only your future... and one day I took my advice and stopped living in the past and present and began to live for the future... problem now is, I don't know how to live in the present I guess we have to trade one demon for another.