i havnt lost my mom, but i loss my 78 y.o great aunt. i was numb for 3-4 months. then my male best friend shot himself in the head and died. i was numb a good part of that year. i didnt talk to anyone, no one didnt know what i was going through, i was just a zombie.
please dont do that to yourself, it's good that your finding a support group.

I just lost my mom three weeks ago. I am an only child at the age of 52. She died two days before my birthday. The pain of losing my mother, my confidant, my best friend is so deep. I wake at three in the morning just sobbing with a pain that is so deep. I feel like I am so lost. We talked everyday. We talked about everything. I have no real friends and I too just tell people what they want to hear. They certainly don't want to hear that about this intense pain. I am here for the same reason as you, to find someone else that feels the same and understands this loss that is just so deep it is beyond description.

I lost my mom a year and a half ago. For the first six months I was numb and in shock after losing her at just 59 to ovarian cancer in two months after diagnosis. I am 38 an only child, with no children or significant other. The next six months I think I self medicated on pot and alcohol - only delaying the real grief. Now I am dealing with my loss and somedays it hurts more than when I stood at her funeral hugging the many that cycled through the funeral home. My mom was a hippie, a true friend, listened to cool music and was my biggest cheerleader and the hardest worker I ever knew. I feel so many emotions..replaying the events in my head in the hospital etc. I hear one of her favorite songs and the tears start flying. I quit my job, who could have cared less she died, and went back to school - which has been very wonderful for me. I don't know when grief ends...all I know is I manage each emotion as it comes and just try and move on a little day by day. I have never been one to cry on a dime but I am now. Good luck with your loss..I truly know how you feel!

my mother commited suicide in 91 when i was 19 be lucky you got a long time to be with your mother and was able to have a beutiful relationship with her , i never got that chance thats the worst part knowing you dident get to ever say the things you learn later in life to say. we were never close she was closer to my brother who was killed in 86 at 21. she was never the same. thank God for the beutiful time you did have together.good luck in everything

oh and the pain does get better in time just hang in there. ask me anything you may have

To buckeyeinparma:
Reading your post was like reading my own story. My Mom died one month ago yesterday at the age of 59 because of ovarian cancer. She was only diagnosed 2 months earlier. She had surgery to remove the tumors and then died 7 days later from an infection caused by the surgery. I am trying to grieve but it is hard when I, my three sisters and my dad are also meeting with medical attorneys for malpractice. An autopsy completed shows that measures could have been taken to prevent her death and reading the reports has been the most devastating. The doctors were convincing us during those 7 days that she had given up and just wanted more pain medication-but knowing my mom and who she was, we just knew this wasn't true. They kept telling us that she should have been on her feet 2 days after the surgery and the fact that she wasn't was a sure sign that she was depressed and dependent on the pain medication. The infection was caught into the 5th night and she died 36 hours later. I wish I could just deal with the fact that she is gone and it was just her time but I cannot feel this way. I feel like we were misguided and misdirected by the doctors and that something could have been done to save her. She kept telling us how much pain she was in and then it got to the point where she couldn't even form a full sentence. I feel like she was robbed from me and my family and i have so much anger inside me because of it.
What has helped it reading post's like your's and realizing I am not alone. My mom was my world and the pain I feel from her loss is like no other. Nighttime is the hardest and that is when I think of her most. Thank you for your post. It sounds like our moms were very alike and possibly could have been friends. Take care.

Well this is a bit different, I lost my mother, who is actually my grandmother who was 81 yrs.old. on Sept.10,2009 She has 10 children and 3 had passed on, and the loss of my grandpa was Sept.11,1991. My grandparents and my uncle Bill who passed on in March,2008 @ the age of 40. were my family, My parents and my big,very intelligent brother is how I basically see it. My biological mother had me at the age of 15 yrs. My mother is a good woman who I guess kind of stood by the sidelines at times and,my father was not in the scene at all. My grandparents and my uncle and a couple other uncles stopped by quite often were my family, my support, my everything, then my grandpa got alziemers and espestices poisoning from work, was an amazing man, I was only 10 when he passed on before that it was a difficult battle just my grams and me looking after my grandpa who didn't knows at times. I then loss my big brother "my uncle Bill" suddenly from sleep apnea, which we never knew it was that bad, he just obtained his red seal and got his journeyman for welding. My grandma couldn't handle it and 2 days later had a heart attack, and was sick in the hospital for 2 months and wasn't the same after that, and the doctor told me 24 hours for her, my heart felt liked it stopped...and I cried and asked my grama to stay and she told me, she wasn't going anywhere, I was soo greatful to have her come home that I took her all the way to Niagra Falls ON. for one last trip, she had never been there, only to more bad news, My other uncle passed away,while we were away, and I didn't tell my grama till we got home, so she would get sick. Some of my gramas children were there, I never really got along with any of them because they were jelous of me, and they lived in b.c and never came around or even sent a card. Well my aunt got angry with me and told my grama and she had another heart attack and got worse and of course they left back home and I felt it was my duty to take care of my grandparents because they took great care of me. My grama was my everything,Now I am dealing with all this paperwork and death I have my grandparents sibling trying to take the house from me. I wish they didn't leave me behind.

I lost my mum on 19th november last, from cancer diagnosed only 34 days earlier. I live in the UK. I miss her so much, she was 75 I am 50, the only daughter. I just go to pick up the phone to tell her something, everything I do reminds me of her. I just don't know what to do. Only the women who have lost mums truly understand and no-one can replace her. All that knowledge, all those memories and all that love.