ive had extremely frightening nightmares ever since i was a kid that i think are lucid dreams and they included dead bodies, half opened doors, dolls that have broken and pointed at me and when i woke up there was a broken doll on the floor. The thing is that all these nightmares have to do with this house and things that scare me. I've also recently started to see things such as i thought a midget was stalking me for 5 hours peeking around the corner and walking back and forth and going into a secret door and i didnt go to bed till 5am and i honestly thought it was real till the mourning. Another one is seeing a big black figure peek around my door. I've also seen things like the end of a robe or skirt (no it was not a curtain) just for a few seconds. I'm constantly paranoid and scared and ever since i was a kid i would hear voices in my head and they sometimes would stop me from being able to sleep. They are usually different voices talking directly to me tho i dont listen to them because they scare me. Whenever i look at something it looks like its drifting away or shifting but not that much, it scared me at first when i was 10 but its okay now. My sleeping schedual is messed up and i often wake up at 3am or 4am or 5am or i just cant sleep or im too scared to sleep. I cant be in a room at night if the bed is not in the corner, there is a empty chair directed to me, the door is open or slightly open, its dark, theres a chair at a desk, there is an empty chair, there is a doll or any type of toy etc. I also dont like reflections like mirrors but also reflections where its not so clear like a lamp post of a dark screen etc A few times i thought there was bugs on me and i couldnt sleep. I'm only 14 and i have grown up with a major depressed and angry dad and a mom who i swear is mental maybe bipolar or just weird idk and she used to abuse me as a kid and shes still very stressful on me while my dad doesnt do anything. Idk what else to say either then my dads brother has self illsusions manic depression and paranoia and idk about the rest. I'm 14 and yes ive smoked marijuana casually not very frequent but it started before ive smoked.
ive also had sleep paralysis a couple of times which really scared me
oh and ive had numerous panic attacks mostly in grade 5 because i thought i couldnt breath but i was extremely scared of flying last year and i had to fly soon and i would cry and freak myself out. Also at night i freakout with the slightest sound and i think that there is certain things following me and trying to harm me or hurt me mentally.
one of them is female and has no body form. One of them is a demon man guy. One of them is a woman who is dead and silent.
im just asking if theres anything wrong with me and any questions too i would answer if needed
sorry if this is not well written, im really tired.
(im also kinda anti social and paranoid everyone secretly hates me and has their own plans against me while they gain my trust and i dont really go out even if alot of people ask me, all depends who and if i know them alot)
oh and over a year ago a very close family member that was like a mom died of brain cancer and i have felt extremely guilty because i never saw her for months etc................................... is this related to anything?
First off, deep breath. I can feel your anxiety through your writing. You need to get scheduled to see a counselor. You could have sleep problems, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder...or it could be that you are drinking to many energy drinks. Go see a professional and they will get you on the right track. You are probably stressed out but the things you are seeing and feeling are a symptom of your stress. I've actually been in the exact same place but mine was due to bipolar disorder-manic episode. Get a professional diagnosis.
i also sometimes have these episodes when my mom gets me mad (which is alot) and i just scream and turn into a different person and if the lights are off and she takes my laptop which gives light i scream and cry and beg to turn on the lights because i get really freaked out. once theyre on i just cry about how scared i am and shxt. then i scream at her to leave and i dont make much sense etc
haha i dont drink energy drinks really.. im actually kind of dieting and my mom is putting extreme amount of pressure because she keeps calling my principle (idk why) and she keeps wanting me to eat to the point shes screaming and makes me come downstairs and puts food infront of me and says i dont have to eat it when its already down my throat.
well i went to the doctor and told him some of my sleeping problems and lied that i didnt think anybody was after me.
I really dont want to think i have mental disorders or any problems because i dont want to seem attention seeking and i really hate pretty much everybody
ive also grown a fear to things in my house like my railing, the stairwell, the closets, and my old room where im not allowed to go in (she and he dont really like it)
she is the female girl that wants to scare me and the room and closet is like her bait
he is just coming and going when he wants to he doesnt really care and i rarely see him other then one time in my room
also theres this gown woman that i thought i saw at my dads when i saw the end of a robe or dress through a doorway and it couldnt be anything else and shes usually in the stairwell cuz thats where she was in the nightmare and im always scared shel be at my doorway and such.
i know i am only seeing these or imagining these but i cant fully graspe that idea and im slipping away from reality
Well dude, you are most likely gonna be like this the rest of your life then.. If you decide to go the medication route, you'll be buying that too. Therapy route, you'll be buying that... This is not something that will get better on its own...