im new and need support with anxiety

Hi Alyce, I notice that no-one has responded to your post as yet so thought I would and hopefully be of some help.

My name is Janice, I experienced depression for many years and during that time felt a lot of anger too. In order to deal with it I trained as a therapist and now that I fully understand how our emotions affect us, I want to help those who suffer emotional pain.

You certainly have had so much to deal with in your life and all at such a young age. Being a Mum so young will demand a lot from you too and especially as you are learning to understand your self.

It doesn't really matter what label you give to your feelings, everything you're experiencing is due to your mind not yet having resolved those things that happened to you as a young child and your mind is trying to make some sense of it all (albeit on an unconscious level).

When this happens you over think things and those thoughts trigger a natural response in our brain known as the flight or fight response. The hormones associated with it (adrenalin and cortisol) keep you on 'high alert'. This response is fine when the body can calm down again but when it doesn't we start thinking more worry thoughts which keeps the hormones elevated.

Anger is actually a bi-product of fear and the fear is driven from those worry thoughts that never get resolved (all of course tied up with your life's experiences). Actually talking over and over those things of the past isn't always helpful as it merely triggers the anxiety more!

Of course it's important that you find a place to resolve all that you have had to deal with but a more pro-active approach is to start changing how you think right now. After all you cannot change anything that has already happened but you do have control over your future). Changing old thought patterns is of course easier said than done but you can start by just being aware of the thoughts and observing them. Instead of reacting to those thoughts just be curious about them. Try to focus upon more of the good things in your life such as your children and your partner who sounds wonderfully supportive.

He will find it difficult to understand what is happening without background knowledge of how our mind works.

One thing that will start to help you right away is to try to do things that calm you. Listen to some peaceful music, a good hypnosis audio, some massage therapy. Attract some laughter into your life, it's wonderfully healing and therapeutic.

If you start to feel panic rising stop what you are doing sit down and breath! Breathe out for longer than you breathe in - so count to 3 for the in-breath and count to 6 or 7 for the out breath. As you breathe out repeat the words 'I am calmer now' or similar.

These are just some tiny steps you can take to start to feel better. Let me know how you get on with them.

You will get better, even though it may not feel like it just now, but everything changes with time.