Im in love with my best friend and dont know weather i should tell him or even how i would?? He knows im Gay and he is straight. We have have been having sex for a couple of years, I got really attached to him but i knew for him it was only ever going to be sex and experimenting if you like. When we started fooling around i didnt know i was gay, we were drunk n ended up masturbating eachother then things progressed from there and just carried on getting better and better. We saw eachother every day and just used to chill out and watch tv/films etc and just talk about anything and everything??We even went awy together and while we were away it was like we were a proper couple abroad and i loved it. A few months ago i came out to him as gay, and from then on we have been having sex less and less and lessand for the last month or so we have hardly even fooled around or kissed?. He has now fallen for a girl who we both know. We have spoken about it and he said he hasnt been feeling the same for a while, but he loves me like a brother and i am the best friend he has ever had. I dont want to lose him as my best friend as i love him so much. But i just cant help feeling so jealous of him and this girl, all the stuff they do together that we used to do? I feel like he is leaving me behind, he has told me that we are still going to be best friends and see/speak to eachother every day as we do now. I just feel completely heartbroken and i have had knots in my stomach and not been able to eat since he told me a week ago. I now realise that i am completely head over heels in love with him and cant bear to be without him? I dont know what to do to stop feeling like this? I dont know weather to tell him i love him or not. I want to be happy for him as he is the best mate ive ever had and i should be supportive etc etc and the girl he is seeing is really nice and i get on with her really well... I just cant help feeling how i feel and dont want to be feeling jealous everytime i see them together or when were out together? Can anybody give me any advice? He is the only person who knows that im Gay btw??
I could tell you that u need to forget him, but it's impossible I know. I'm bisexual and all I have wanted to do with my straight friend with who I'm in love is to go in bed with him and his girlfriend because I felt like I'm not the best person in his life and that I'm "leftover". This world is complicated!