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Ignore child threat or seek help?

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Hi, I have an 8 year old son who can be quite stubborn. Today I took him fishing and after 1 hour said we had to leave. He wanted to stay and stated that he would not leave. I told him to start walking by the time I counted to 5 or he would lose some priveliges and be grounded for 1 week. He walked, but veerrrry slowly and I told him to get a move on because I was losing my cool. He would not so I grabbed his hand and started pulling him to move faster and he started screaming and said," You're the worst mother in the world and I am going to kill myself!!!!" He said this once last year when I sent him for a timeout in his room and it shocked me but I spoke to him after he calmed down and asked why he would say that and he said, "I don"t know" and I told him how devasting and sad that would be because I love him so much and he is such a great child. He did not say it again until today....is this abnormal? do some children say this when th ey are angry to be dramatic...should I see a child psychologist. He is a normal and healthy 8 year old but I am not sure if I should ignore this as drama on his part or tell a specialist.
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replied July 5th, 2009
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I know kids say things to hurt back or get their way but to say I will kille myself--makes you wonder where he has heard this..But because he has said it I would set him up with a child psychologist..

You can tell him you aren't the worst mother--that I personally would have gave him a whack on his butt to get his attention..Kids now adays get by with a load of crap because it has been said that whipping hurts their esteem..That there is no place..There is a place for a swat on the butt and it is before that child turns to hurt self or another..

He really is growing up and trying to set his place in the world but not sure on how to do it yet..You have to be firm and guide him..Is there a dad in the family-if not can you get him lined up with (the big brother organization)?
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replied July 5th, 2009
Hi, I wondered where he would have heard this and last year when he said it I asked where he had heard it and he said nowhere... He has a Dad an older brother (13) and we all live together. I'll ask his brother if he has ever said this or something like it to him but doubt it. It's strange and I will speak to my pediatrician. Ya, a whack on the bottom ... it was tempting but I think that would just get him angrier. I tried that once and he packed his backpack and ran away...all the way to the end of the driveway.
Thanks
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replied July 5th, 2009
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Hi--maybe if you pack his bag for him and let him walk he will see you mean business..(I would follow him-just out of eyesite though)Kids like to push and this one of yours is a pusher..He likes testing you..Let him get upset honey maybe he needs to release some of his tension..Take him to a baseball cage and let him hit balls to release tenions plus good exercise..Warn him NEVER to hit you or you will wear his butt out..Don't blink or smile and keep voice low so he has to listen.. As long as you stand your ground no matter what he says you'll be in control and that is what he needs..
The pediatrician might bw a good choice if they are in the know about kids who threaten to kill themselves..best of luck..
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replied July 6th, 2009
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you have to be stern with kids. i never beat my son because of my traumatic childhood. now he is taller & just as strong as i am.
i m a single mom and my son knows that i dont beat him, he knows he can get away with murder. he's a good kid, but he still tries little things.
my son is a teenager now so im dealing with his attitude.
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replied July 6th, 2009
Thanks, I am pretty stern with him. I don't put up with much from him because I know that I have to nip any funky behaviour in the bud or he'll keep pushing it to the limit. I have a teenager as well, who used to be shy and quiet and sweet and innocent...now he has the attitude. I know how a shy child can develop the teenage mouth so now am concerned about how my 8 year old who is already bold and stubborn will be when the hormones kick in. I will follow-up with my pediatrician and post the feedback I get.
Thanks, it helps just to share.
Lise
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replied July 6th, 2009
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I do not advocate beating anyone..We can fear life and even over-protect our kids because of our childhood or we can stay strong and right the wrongs making sure our kids don't get hurt but that they don't hurt others either..

I do think that when a kid is getting out of control a swat to the butt brings there attention back around..I also think a swat only works until a child is about 10..That is why being stern, disciplined and having them listen could save a life..

Exp. A friend tried the approach of only talking..She felt a swat on the butt was too traumatic..The kid got out of hand only with her..He pushed and pushed and did what he wanted and ended up in jail after wrecking a stolen vehicle..True he may have done this anyway or maybe not..
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replied July 6th, 2009
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i had a lot of friends and family tell me how i should hit my son when he was younger. i had them throw the bible etc. it didnt matter. my son is a respectful A student.

my sister on the other hand would pick something up in a store anything at arms length and beat her kid with it. her daughter is still very bad and steel things.
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replied July 6th, 2009
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I did not say hit as in abuse or beat..
Just like I was saying a swat to the butt may or maynot help..Spankings got out of hand some years ago when people misinteruptted a swat on the butt that makes more noise than anything to physically hurting someone..
I know that any child who threatens life or harm needs to see a child psychologist..Each kid is different and will respond different as situation warrants..

My mother made me get a switch and would bring blood..I got hit with a belt and welts would come up..

I know the difference as well..I do not accept that kind of discipline serviceu..I do know that a child who is looked straight in the eye and calmly told something in a low voice most times will respond the second time with threat of a swat most likely responds IF there is a 3rd time child responds as the threat was carried through next time a problem occurs step 1 and 2 most likely is all it takes..

I have seen and stopped adults who have brought there hand towards a childs face..I even had my jaw cracked by stopping an adult from taking a board to a kid..So yes, i understand..I am sorry you had this treatment serviceu but I still stand that a swat to the butt would not hurt the child..If that swat keeps a child out of harms way then so be it..
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replied July 6th, 2009
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i understood what you said.
i just wanted to show anyone who reads this forum that beating a child is better than the 'time out' or talking to the child. i wanted to throw in my personal experience.
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