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If I move family friend will dig heals in

I am really considering moving into a big local town but am afraid to as I know my friend will kick up a fuss and make it really awkward for me. The problem is I have done this before but didn't really make any friends in the new area, I was stuck inside, didn't do much exercise, blood pressure was slightly raised and I put on excessive weight as a result of having too many takeaways, a smoker refused to open windows and I never did any exercise.

The problem I have with this friend is - because she is a long standing friend - I am finding it very difficult to do anything - including looking for a job, making new friends, joining associations and clubs - without her finding out. When she does find out about anything new I have am doing - she does this "walk in" thing - where she will literally introduce herself to the group once, leave everyone asking questions about me and then the questions become that awkward that I then have to leave the group. I know why she dug her heals in before when I moved to a different town - she has no control of what I do and who I meet when I'm out of this town and this scares her.

I wish there were more rights for people who have had mental health issues to be able to safely and confidentially move to a new area, under the control of a gp to ensure they continue to take their medication and don't give up. Also the nurse and medical reception staff would help them settle into the area whilst maintaining good health. I would regularly attend a GP medical practice so they could keep an eye on my health, I would also try to get to know people by joining associations. I just don't know the way forward or how to get myself out of this very controlling old school friend. I want to stay in touch but only on a light level and I certainly don't want her to continue to get involved and know about everything I get up to in this town or in a new town.
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replied January 1st, 2012
Experienced User
I can't work it out - either my friend thinks I don't know you can be treated after as short as 6 months now for a health reason - as serious as hospitalisation - in the new area you have moved to. I have established this I know this. Or - somehow my friend thinks it very funny and clever to make out I'm completely unhappy in my new area and need to return home where I've got her as a friend. The problem is - this is a big joke because either way if I get married and have a family - by moving back it will be breaking up a family and this seems very unimportant to her. But she's an absolute irritation - because (as you will see in my previous blogs) my friend cannot and does not give up until she has told all our friends and got everyone involved again - if she thinks I'm ill - if she thinks I'm ignoring her - if she thinks I need her as a close friend again. I can't control what she tells other people.
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