i wrote this when i was really bad.. just think about this

I didn’t think I would become drunk , I saw it as harmless , I thought cider couldn’t make you drunk , but then I started to feel funny an all I remember was that I couldn’t concentrate, I wasent in controll, I always thought im to incontroll an that ill never let anything catch me off gard but I was in a state I couldn’t get out what I wanted to say properly , , nothing seemed real to me .. Then I felt sick, in my head I was beging myself to feel better, to make a quick recovery, I kept thinking please please help me please make it better, I was out of it , laying in my sick I didn’t even care when my mum pulled up or when my friend kept saying I was really scaring her , having that bottle was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made ,I felt so sick an so out of it , I couldn’t stand up I fell down when I got pulled up , I was shakein uncontrollably an I was so cold my throat hurt from where I had been sick so much and my stomach killed me as I had not eaten much that day … I regret it so much.. If your reading this and thinking that wont ever happen to me im more in controll ill never drink a lot, ill stop as soon as im feeling funny, thing is I used to say that, but I couldn’t stop even thou it stared to taste horrible , an I felt like all I wanted to do was sleep , I was totally out of it …. I just need to post this up as a warning.. Im not a social worker or a doctor or anything important im a teenage girl and I just want to let you know , in scared now , im never going to touch a drink ever in my life , im scared that it will happen again, that ill end up in teares being sick uncontrollably .. I sit here in bed worried about my future and what it will be like with this as a black mark on my record… you can choose to ignore this and block it out of your life… just please remember once you’ve drunk to much.. The only way to get out of it is though being sick, having everyone worry about you , not caring about how people are seeing you its so horrible and I regret that decision I made ….