Please feel free to PM me if you'd rather. I will always answer you. I've been here on eHealth since 2003. I totally understand where you are coming from. You are depressed. Its hard when you loose someone you love. I know you miss her and this unhapiness is causing you such pain. I do know this, your wonderful Grandmother is in a far more better place and she would not want for you to be unhappy. She would not want for you to wish your life away just because she was called away. I'd love to hear about her and our relationship. Just a PM away!

nothing is wrong with you hun its natural for someone to mourn the loss of a loved one i know i did and i realized that she's in a better place watching over me and protecting me and im sure your grandma is doing the same for you
i too have lost a grandmother i know how you feel but i know your grandmother loved you with all her heart and wants you to be happy i'm here to help you whenever you need it just please tell me and i'll do it

i remember when i was 18 years old my great aunt died at age 78 & my world was black and white for three months. then my boyfriend committed suicide and for another three months i went into a deep depression, and i didnt tell anyone how i felt. so i know how it feels. you will come out of it, you have to try, force yourself into normalcy as much as possible, dont isolate yourself from people.
i wish you well