Hi for the past few months I have become obsessed with my weight I will weigh myself at least a minimum of 4 times per day, I count every calorie that passes my lips. The only meal I eat is dinner because I can't get away with not having it, if it was up to me I would just have tea or coffee all day. Everything I eat or drink I look at the nutritional value and if at the time it seems like too many calories I will not eat or drink it. The other day I looked at coke zero bottle and decided that it had too many calories so just stuck to water. I am obsessed with going on blogs and I find myself on them every chance I get, and I always hide it from people the closest people in my life don't even know that I look at these things. I get very anxious around dinner time especially because I don't get to prepare the meal and sometimes don't even dish up my own meal then at the dinner table I have to eat it all or at least I am expected to. I go on self diagnosing websites to diagnose myself which I know isn't a correct diagnosis but I was wondering do these characteristics seem like I have some form of eating disorder? I weigh 105 and am 5.6 and am 22 years old.
First of all, coke zero has no calories. Second yes that does sound like an eating disorder. And that is WAY too skinny for your height my dear. I've been struggling with my ED since I was a kid. What triggered this mass concern with your weight? And what kind of blogs?
The blogs I go on are all eating disorder related so I know thats not helping for starters and I don't know what exactly triggered I have been stressed lately from my mum getting sick so I lost my appetite then but I don't exactly know what triggered me so much, I think I also started counting calories then I think it became an obsession as well as working out and restricting just to see results.
You gotta tell someone about this. A friend, family member, professional, someone before it gets out of hand. This stuff can kill you, and if not that, it will hurt your body. I've been trying to stay away from purging because the last couple times I have, blood comes up. And for what? To be super skinny? Everyone thinks it's gross to be that skinny anyway. I know it's hard to tell someone or try to fight it, but it's like a drug you have to put down.
A doctor can help you pinpoint the real problem in your life that's coming out as what you're dealing with, and then you can work on that instead. ED comes from a feeling of lack of control most of the time. Try to ween your way up on calories, and just eat healthy stuff. That's a much better thing to pride yourself on instead of a super low weight.
I just feel like its not important, I don't have all the characteristics of anorexia and I just feel like if I tell anyone it will seem like I am after attention. I think others have it worse then me so I feel like I don't need help. If I go to a doctor they will tell me what I already know which is to have a healthier diet. I understand that its unhealthy I just don't think I need help right now.
Well haha I totally get that cos I'm the same way. Just keep an eye on it, and keep an eye out for any weird physical symptoms (dry/tight feeling skin, hair falling out or in bad condition, weakness, body tightness) which shouldn't happen until you go about a week without eating anything. And it very well could get that bad. Just be careful.