It started about a week ago, last Sunday when I began having SEVERE lower abdominal pains that would be constant for 3 to 4 hours at a time, and then it would go away and I would feel back to normal again. Well, this pain came and gone all day Sunday. It was in my pelvic area and at first I thought it was just "poop cramps" multiplied by 15, but I had 2 normal bowel movements that day and the pain didn't go away or stop. The only thing I could do was sleep, because I didn't want to feel that pain. When I woke up the next morning to the same kind of pain I knew something was wrong.
I went to the ER Monday night, around 10 o'clock at night, and unfortunately I was not treated well as a patient what so ever, I was diagnosed with something that was not wrong with me, and began taking medication for something that was not wrong with me. When I went to this hospital I had a male Doctor that was probably about 75 years old and Chinese. I told him my symptoms and he asked me many of questions (such as: do you have any discharge, does it burn when you urinate, when was your last menstrual cycle, and other things along those lines) that I answered, but all I kept telling him was that I hurt and I showed him wear. He then decided to preform a pelvic exam on me.
When the Doctor returned 20 minutes later with my test results (which is the fastest I have ever had any kind of lab work or test result come back from a hospital, considering I had to wait over 2 hours in my room with one nurse coming in and taking blood, but had no wait when first arriving there) and told me that I had a bladder infection, I told him "No, I don't", that I knew what a bladder infection felt like and I have had them before and that this wasn't the case. He talked over me and told me that my results came back positive for bladder infection and that he was going to send me home with two different antibiotics and pain medicine, then walked out of the room. I was in complete shock. My boyfriend who I have been with for over 6 years was with me and he was in shock himself.
After two days of taking the antibiotics that this Doctor prescribed me I was still having SEVERE lower abdominal pains. I knew I did not have a bladder infection and the pain medicine was not coming close to any sort of relief. So on Wednesday night (early Thursday morning) I went to a different hospital to get a second opinion. I was treated very well there, they also preformed a pelvic exam on me, as well as hooking me up to an IV because I was very dehydrated, along with morphine. After the Doctor was finished with my pelvic exam she told me the possibilities that I COULD have and that she was not 100% sure to have me call back in two days to find out my results. She told me that I might have Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, and Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. All I could do was cry and she began to explain to my boyfriend, who was with me that night as well, that he needed to be tested and treated if he tested positive. My boyfriend told her, "I think I would know if I had a STD." I was in shock, I mean how was he going to act like this wasn't really going on and that he doesn't have anything when I clearly did and we've been having unprotected sex for years.
My boyfriend (now ex) and I haven't had the best relationship for the past year or so. He began being verbally abusive, which lead to him physically hurting me in little ways (such as: throwing things at me, squeezing me really hard, holding me down, burning me with his cigarettes, and much more) to him thinking he had power over me since I wasn't telling anyone what was going on when we were alone. I wasn't allowed to have friends and barely could communicate with my own family, that I lived with, or he would get very angry with me. Well things began to get worse. It was to the point where he had stopped the car, in the middle of a neighborhood road one night, put it in park and got out and literally drug me out of the car and began beating me with a closed fist. For some reason at 3 a.m. in the morning there was a young couple out on a walk and the guy came running up to me, laying on the ground screaming and crying, and my boyfriend, who was standing over me and repeatedly hitting me in my face, I only knew things were about to get really bad because he had been caught, deep down I was happy though. As the guy who came up to my boyfriend tried fighting him, my boyfriend told me to get up and get back into the car, I said "No." He the proceeded to pick me up and put me in the car and tell the guy, that could have just saved my life, that if he said anything or did anything that he would "beat him too." It wasn't over, I knew I had it coming now, but all I could do was scream at him and ask him over and over if he felt big, manly, and powerful beating up on a 105 pound, 20 year old, GIRL and how it felt to him to be caught?" He said nothing, which meant he would physically show me his feelings soon. He whipped his car into the next neighborhood off of the main road and just went crazy on me, I honestly don't want to get into detail about all of that because it was pretty bad, but I took pictures when I was forced to walk home because he left me lying in the middle of the road 2 miles away from my home. All of this has been going on for about a year and I just couldn't bring myself to tell anyone about it, I guess I didn't want to believe it was really happening to me, since I grew up watching my own mother a victim of women-abuse.
Anyways, as the doctor was trying to explain this to him, he got up and walked outside to smoke a cigarette. She told me over and over, as I lied in that hospital bed crying (scared to death, pissed off because he was the ONLY person i have ever been unprotected with, and embarrassed of my boyfriend acting that way towards me and the doctor) that I COULD NOT have sex with him until I know for 100% fact that he has been tested and treated or I will get the STD right back. She asked me if I had more than one sex partner and I explained to her that I have been with my boyfriend and ONLY him for over a year and half (we used to break up for stupid stuff all the time and one time when we were he had slept with someone, that I wasn't supposed to find out about and did, so I had also slept with someone but used protection). Then told her the following story:
There was a rumor about 6 or 7 months ago that said my boyfriend had slept with his neighbor (who was infected with chlamydia). My boyfriends own mother had told me about this and warned me to be careful because this girl has called the house looking for her son, several times and finally told her that she needed him to know she tested positive for Chlamydia (apparently this was two days after they had sex). I asked my boyfriend about this, and he swore up and down; I even pretended to be him on his cell phone and text this girl asking all about it and she was giving me details of times, dates, what he was wearing, to how he performed in bed and every other sign that told me he was lying to me. I confronted him about this situation and told him I wouldn't be upset if it were true I just wanted to know because WE BOTH need to get tested. He told me over and over, swore up and down on every ones life and god, denied everything that really did happen. And I was so dumb, naive, gullible, I trusted him, and believed him over anybody and everything. Now that I look back on that situation, I am upset with myself in so many different ways. I should have never had unprotected sex with anyone ever until I am married and know that I am going to be with that ONE person for the rest of my life as well as him. I should have never let some one as weak as he is bring me down to his level and make me think that I HAVE to be with him. I can go on and on with the shoulda, coulda, woulda things, but bottom line is it was a mistake I chose to make knowing every possibility from having unprotected sex.
The Doctor looked at me and said "You are a beautiful young lady that has so much life ahead of her why are you putting yourself through this, you are capable of doing so much better than this." I told her that I knew and agreed like I did to everyone who pointed out bad things about my relationship, because deep down I wanted to break down and spill out everything that was really going on, and couldn't. I brought it up to my boyfriend several times for the next two days, explaining how scared I was and that if I did test positive for an STD that I am done with him, because he lied and cheated on me and gave me a sexual transmitted disease, he said nothing!!! I had even brought up the neighbor incident to him, again he said absolutely NOTHING. Those next two days I tried to beg, plead, cry, offer anything to him just to see if he would tell me the real truth about the neighbor, if he's been with someone else without protection without me knowing, or has he been with someone else without my knowledge. I didn't get it though because any other time I would try to ask him anything along those lines he would freak out and have one of his crazy episodes. I was confused because it came to the point where the morning of finding out my test results I was in such horrible pain, crying, puking, couldn't move, or bare to do anything I called him because years ago when I was hurting that bad I could call him and he would talk me though everything and calm me down or do whatever it took until he could get to wherever I was. Well, not this time, this time he told me I'll be there in "ten minutes" for over 3 hours. I laid in my bed crying in the worst pain I have ever felt, along with my nerves rushing knowing I was about to find out results, and my frustration with how my boyfriend was really doing and saying all the things he said to me during those 3 hours of trying to get him to take me to see medical attention but, he never showed up and the pain went away after a few hours and it was time for me to make the phone call.
I called the hospital and luckily the same doctor that tested me two nights ago was there and they allowed me to talk to her about my results, since she was the one who did my pelvic examination. She told me that I tested positive for one of the two things she thought it was. My heart sank into my stomach and I had that huge lump in my throat trying to hold back a single tear from coming out. She then told me that I tested positive for Chlamydia, that it is treatable, and curable. For some reason that didn't seem to make me feel any better at all. I was just told that I have an STD, something I would never ever expect to get in my life, EVER! I knew it was from having unprotected sex with my boyfriend and from him getting it from another person who was infected. She told me again, please do not have sex with him until you know that he has been tested, treated, and that the treatment was successful,(she said if he was concerned about it as much as he should be, he would show you some kind of proof that he has nothing). I told her I have another curable treatment for him, as an angry and upset joke. She laughed and asked for me to wait until she got off of her shift today. Well I knew that I tested positive for a STD but I still was concerned with this PID thing she kept talking about, that I have never heard of, and wanted to know if I had tested negative or positive for that. The doctor explained what Pelvic Inflammatory Disease was, it's pretty much "an infection" **which Chlamydia is a bacterial infection** of my pelvic area, and destroys my female reproductive organs if left uncured, and assured me that the medicine she prescribed me will clear this up as well as the Chlamydia.
I immediately get off the phone and call my boyfriend asking if he can please come over we needed to talk about something important and very serious. He tried telling me that he didn't feel like "getting ready to come over because he was tired", I asked him if he was kidding me and he hung up. I was fuming inside, not knowing if I should tell someone, my own mom didn't even know this was going on, but I couldn't bring myself to "tell" on him yet, I couldn't believe anything that was going on, I was so confused. I called back about 2 hours later, hoping he had calmed down and maybe showered and got ready for the day since it was now going on 3 p.m. in the afternoon, but that wasn't the case he was out giving one of his "buddies" a ride to work apparently, he wouldn't tell me his "buddies" name though, I was never allowed to ask him who was with or I'd be in some trouble because "my life is not his business and I don't need to know what he does every second of the day when he's not around me". Well he started fighting with me telling me that we were over and that I was crazy and blah, blah, lies coming out of his mouth to make sure that whoever he was with thought that I was crazy. But, on my end of the line all I was doing was remaining so freaking calm about things, but crying about it because he again said NOTHING when I told him the results. I asked if he was going to go get himself checked out and treated, but again he replied with its not my business to know what he does with his life, I told him that I was no longer going to see him and explained how I couldn't believe a person could be so cruel, dishonest, untrustworthy, sneaky, careless. and pretty much heartless to someone they say they LOVE every day; but even after he sat there and listened to everything he said NOTHING and hung up the phone. This was at 4ish yesterday, its now 730 in the morning the following day and I still have yet to have a phone call, text, or have him come over and even tried myself throughout the night a couple times to call him just wanting to talk about things maturely and come to an end on a good note. I didn't want to leave him like, "ew you gave me STD" because somehow in my sick mind I still thought I loved this person. Well after a few family members finding out, my mom, dad, and step-mom and them talking to me it made me miss my best girl friend, who I was NOT ALOUD EVER to talk to, he HATED her. I called her up after not talking to her for quite awhile she answers and listens to me and helps me out as much as she can, like she normally does when I do this to her. She asked me a question that honestly made me wake up, she had asked me, "I'm sorry, I know what's going on though and you need to get away from there, he doesn't treat you right and now look he has giving you a STD and you're going to continue chasing him around, and following every command, I mean isn't this the rock bottom point yet, will you please leave him before you wind up dead somewhere and no one will no because you never talked to anyone about what's going on in your life?" I sat there and listened and realized she was right. What was I doing or thinking. This was my wake up call I've been praying for someone to make him stop treating me so badly, I guess I kind of got my wish, but instead of someone stopping him, it was an STD.
This might effect me for the rest of my life, after I have completed my antibiotics in 2 weeks I have to go get tested to make sure that the medicine was productive and killed the bacteria off, then I have to go have ultra sounds and tests ran on my female reproductive organs to see if they have been damaged or even if I have became STERILE. I also have to have tests ran on my cervix to make sure that I didn't develop any kind of cervical cancers or any of the many, many complications Chlamydia comes along with. I currently am unemployed and without medical or dental insurance with no one to help me out financially. I've been getting myself all worked up just sitting here thinking about everything that has happened and I have decided what I'm going to do, I'm leaving him for good! I am moving out of the county about 30 miles away with my mom and without him knowing. I am getting away because I know I am not strong enough to say no to his persuasiveness with me and his "sweet talk" and my mom has a job lined up for me and I would love to just start my life over and begin working on some major trust issues I'm dealing with and better ways to communicate to people when things are not right, example: women-abuse. Also, getting this STD and PID treated and gone away only make me want to NEVER EVER see his face again, I'm disgusted with him, ugh BOTTOM LINE I WILL NEVER LET A MAN TREAT ME THAT WAY EVER AGAIN and I HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON ON THE MANY, MANY, MANY mistakes I have made with him.
I touch back with everyone when I complete my antibiotics, which I heard give HORRIBLE side effects, and have results on whether or not they worked for me. If you have any questions or comments or anything please ask, tell me, or whatever you would like. That's why I wrote my story to get some feedback and to let others who are either AWARE or UNAWARE and having unprotected sex or have never had sex but one day plans on it, what the consequences of that could be this is only ONE of the MANY STD's. So, please learn from my story because I would never want anyone to experience the pain and suffer I have been though with ONE PERSON (who I thought after 6 1/2 years of being together, I could trust, believe, rely, depend, and do anything in the world for no matter what) and for it to end over a STD,
Thank you for reading my story and again please leave any info you'd like to know, questions, advice, anything, just feel free.
Your story is sad but I'm so happy that you decided to move away and I agree that even though getting an STD shouldn't have been the way your relationship should have ended, I'm happy it was a wake up call for you. About 3-4 weeks ago my Dr called me with terrible results, she said I had chlamydia; my heart sank I began to cry, she then told me it could be cured with antibiotics and for me to come in that day to get the pills. Later that day I went in and took the antibiotics. I have been in a long distance relationship for 21 months and I did cheat on my bf twice, with two different people. My bf and I always use protection because I am not on any birth control; therefor, I knew it the std couldn't have been from him. I was not in a relationship with either of those guys anymore, i was able to get a hold of one of them so i called him and let him know that he should get checked. He said there was no way he had it because he had been checked. I decided I would just forget the guys, move on and learn from my bad mistakes; most importantly focus on my relationship and fix the issues I was having within myself. I have not told my bf what I did because I am so afraid he will leave me or will lose all his trust in me. I did tell him he should be tested because I am on the nuva ring now, have been on it for a week, I told him we couldn't have unprotected sex until he was checked and everything turns out good for the both of us. I want to be with him only and I really want to work things out, he is a great guy, does everything for me and I regret what I did, but I'm happy because it was my wakeup call and I am thankful for it. I am wondering: I took the antibiotics about 3 weeks ago and I was told to wait about a week to have sex, I have not had sex since then I am going to see him next week and I am excited to be with him. I got him the antibiotics and he is willing to take them, I am certain the std was not from him but I am just taking precautions, I will not be retested for the std to see if it has rid, until 3 months, should we go ahead and have sex the week after he takes the antibiotics? or wait until my next chlamydia test? I feel fine I spoke with my Dr and she said I am okay now, but to not have unprotected sex until i know my one partner is clean. Any advice/feedback would be well appreciated. Thank you for your postÃ¢spamÂ¥
That story was sad, its great you escaped. It would have been harder dealing with the worries and possible complications caused by PID AND being in a totally emotionally and physically abusive relationship at the same time. You did the right thing.
I have been in a emotionally destructive one in the past- who cheated on me with my bestfriend (who loved one night stands- and never ceased to brag about them- I am pretty open minded when it came to her cos she did have a rough upbringing, but doesn't excuse the fact she f**ked me over and so did he.)
I had been diagnosed with Chlamydia and PID from it. I'm on my final dose of antibiotics and am freaking out, not about the chlamydia so much- as its easily cured, like most women diagnosed with PID, I am much more concerned about my fertility after the healing. As I have researched that it's after you take the chalamydia clearing antibiotics, thats' when you heal. Healing means; scar tissue is forming. The longer you left it the more scar tissue will be formed, but how does anyone know that? It's silent until the damage is being done and its still very possible to have damage done when there is no pain- So how does anyone really know how long that PID was forming. Id like to blame it on my cheating bf, but before I met him I had two other long term relationships, with men who weren't virgins. So no one knows really.
During this week of antibiotics I am just so concerned this has ruined my fertlity or if it hasn't, increased hugely the chance of ectopic pregnancy which kills women? Fact is, you just don't unless you get a lap and ink test done, till then I'm panicing. Does any others now feel the urge to try to get pregnant asap after finding out about having PID? I know I do....
ANYONE READING THIS WHO SUSPECTS THEY HAVE CHLAMAYDIA OR PID OR EVEN DOESN'T HAVE ANY SIDEEFFECTS: GET TESTED ASAP. It's just a URINE TEST and not at all embarassing at ALL. THOSE WHO ARE IN RELATIONSHPS AND THOSE WHO ARE NOT:- GET A CHLAMYDIA TEST!!! PICK UP THAT PHONE AND DIAL UR GP NOW! You may regret it forever if not.
I think STD tests should be implemented in the law for everyone to get checked up every 6 months regardless of having sex or not. AIDS is well feared but Chlamydia should be up there with same fear and knoweldge as AIDS/HIV. It can kill you if you have an ectopic pregnancy and psychologically mess you up.