My boyfriend and I broke up last Friday. It wasn't because we weren't in love, we love each other dearly. He believes he's gay. He doesn't want to hurt me because, though we are in love on every other issue, he feels he can't be with me sexually. Now to me, sex isn't important. I've gone without it for many years. I understand where he's coming from and told him if it was for any other reason, I would've been even more crushed. The thing is, he was my first boyfriend and first kiss. He was the first person I could be open with about everything in a long time.
When he first told me, my mind went first to shock then to a numb feeling. I couldn't feel for the next two hours. The next day, I caught his stomach flu and basically didn't feel anything that day either. I stayed at his place until Sunday morning and had long chats with him on Friday and Saturday night lasting until 3 or 4 in the morning. I spoke to several of his close friends from his hometown and they have all confirmed that he has been struggling with this issue for 10 years or more. He and I have officially dated for 6 months but known each other...Friday would've made it a year. I still want to be his friend. I want to see him smile. I want to be strong for him, to show him I'm okay and I can support him if he wants to try dating other men.
Generally I bottle my emotions to look at the issues objectively, whether it is happiness, sadness, turmoil, or elation. I'm find this one hard to bottle. I think it is because I still love him.
I don't know if this is normal or if I'm going about this all wrong. Is it supposed to hurt this bad? Is there something more I can do for him?
you are a very srtong person,that is a huge load you are carrying.
i realy hope you can find someone or something in your life to forget about this as i think you need to forget and try and move forward........im sorry but thats all i can say,hes been respectfull and explained the problems...no matter how many allowances you would make it would never be enough.you may not admit it now but in time you may begin to resent him for changes in YOUR life you have made to make him want you as you want him...you have to let go mate.