I want help

I feel so alone. the strange thing is I shouldn't be. I have family and a boyfriend of 7 months. then there are people who like me I guess, but I don't feel accepted. I would call them friends but they wouldn't consider me one. I don't have people to talk to so I share everything with a school councillor, and I even annoy them now so i've stopped asking for help. I don't know how to be okay again, everybody at school thinks i'm miserable sometimes for attention because other times I feel totally fine and act happy. I don't attract bad attention, I am the bad attention. I do things to make me feel better, not to be cool or have a good time, because I thought they would help me. They don't. I also do things to take out my anger, which my parents know about and didn't care about. all they said was that i'm an idiot. I feel dead inside and I feel selfish for feeling like this because there are people who say they want to be there. but then when I think about it, they're not there. all I do is make them hate me. it's just a never ending spiral of nothing. I don't know what i'm posting this for, maybe someone else feels like this. otherwise it's just to get it off my chest I suppose, things have happened to me, lots of things, that i've never told anyone and that might be why I feel alone. I don't know, this probably won't get read. thanks if you did read.