I feel so alone. the strange thing is I shouldn't be. I have family and a boyfriend of 7 months. then there are people who like me I guess, but I don't feel accepted. I would call them friends but they wouldn't consider me one. I don't have people to talk to so I share everything with a school councillor, and I even annoy them now so i've stopped asking for help. I don't know how to be okay again, everybody at school thinks i'm miserable sometimes for attention because other times I feel totally fine and act happy. I don't attract bad attention, I am the bad attention. I do things to make me feel better, not to be cool or have a good time, because I thought they would help me. They don't. I also do things to take out my anger, which my parents know about and didn't care about. all they said was that i'm an idiot. I feel dead inside and I feel selfish for feeling like this because there are people who say they want to be there. but then when I think about it, they're not there. all I do is make them hate me. it's just a never ending spiral of nothing. I don't know what i'm posting this for, maybe someone else feels like this. otherwise it's just to get it off my chest I suppose, things have happened to me, lots of things, that i've never told anyone and that might be why I feel alone. I don't know, this probably won't get read. thanks if you did read.
you should talk to a real counselor, not some person from school who probably doesnt give a crap. part of your problem is probably the things that have happened to you. have you tried taking medication for depression? i dont know how old you are, but i felt a lot like this in middle school. i didnt feel like people liked me, no real friends, didnt really fit in.. i got medication for depression. maybe that helped, or maybe my life just got better (and i use that term loosely). i became a pc gamer, and i made friends online. i met people online that made my life seem easy. i met people who liked me. and my personality changed over time and ive become someone people like in real life. i felt a lot better having people who accepted me and liked me. not to mention i got extremely lucky and met the man im going to marry online, and ive had him to keep me going for nearly 4 years now. the point is i found something i liked doing that kept me occupied, and it was something i could do where people accepted me. and things just went from there. i hope i helped in some way and i hope that your life gets better soon. i didnt have to deal with the feeling for long, so with any luck you'll be done with it too soon.