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I've Never Had An Orgasm (Page 1)

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Is there something wrong with me. The sex feels good I just never climax. I'm a chronic masterbater you could say, but still don't peak. I also wanted to know if it's weird that when I get close or atleast I think I get close to peaking all my leg muscles tighten up and it gets hard to keep them open?
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First Helper User Profile RebSaevam
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replied April 7th, 2009
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The leg clenching is normal. But not being able to orgasm is not. You either have something physical or psychological wrong with you. Psychologically speaking, it could be something as simple as feeling so strongly that sex and masturbation are 'bad' that you are unable to achieve orgasm. Whatever the reason, I suggest you get a physical and gynecological exam. If physical causes are ruled out as the problem, I would then consider therapy to overcome your problem.
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replied April 7th, 2009
I don't think sex is a bad thing at all though
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replied April 7th, 2009
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Like I said, it could be caused by a physical problem. That's why I suggested that you get a complete physical and gynecological exam.
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replied April 16th, 2009
I don't think that not being able to have an orgasm is NOT NORMAL. Maybe you just haven't found exactly what's right for you. Keep trying, don't focus on the end, just enjoy the journey there. Female orgasms are a strange and beautiful thing, don't worry about it as long as you're enjoying yourself. You're completely normal.
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replied August 19th, 2009
I don't orgasm either and also masturbate frequently (sometimes until my finger prunes). I don't think I ever will. According to my psychology book, men have only one standard track for sex(excitement, plateau, orgasm,) but women have three standard tracks one is multiple orgasm towards the end, one is orgasm in the middle, and the last is quivering at the plateau--never reaching orgasm.

According to a sexual health article I read many women never orgasm but still want to indulge in sexual activities and thouroughly enjoy them. Furthermore, some women can orgasm, but only through external stimulation of the clitoris. These women do not orgasm during penetration.

I, as a college-freshman virgin lesbian, may not be in a position to hand out sexual advise. Even from a psychological standpoint, I'm in no position (especially considering that I watched my mother go through three highly abusive relationships) But that is exactlly why I've been doing my research on "normal" female sexuality.

Trust me, there's a wide definition of "normal" in female sexuality.
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replied August 20th, 2009
I dont' orgasm usually either. I'm 26 now, and I think I've had a total of maybe 4 or 5 orgasms (although am still not certain if they count or not:S).

Like you guys, I masturbate and enjoy it, I have sex and enjoy it, although penetration does very little for me I admit.

I tend to find that unless I'm in the Exact right frame of mind, my own mind and body want to stop after a while because it starts to become painful rather than pleasureable.

From people I've spoken to (and I am in contact with quite a few when it comes to this subject), it truly is quite a common occurance.

My theory is, as long as I'm enjoying myself regardless, it really doesn't matter how it ends. Enjoy what you do, stop trying to get to orgasm,the more you try, the more you're focussed on why it's not happening and the less you will enjoy it. The less you enjoy it,the less the chance of it actually happening. Just do what comes naturally and don't worry about it. Whatever happens, is perfectly normal for you. That's really all that matters.
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replied September 13th, 2009
Sexual Therapy
I'm 28 & I've never orgasmed. I was a virgin when I married my husband of 5 years now, but unfortunately I was raped on our wedding night by our limo driver. I was waiting in the car for my new husband to return from the front desk at the hotel. I've gotten therapy for the rape, but I wonder alot that if it never happened - would I have been able to orgasm with my husband.
Are there any suggestions? I'm open to anything.
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replied September 14th, 2009
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ok, not too sound young or anything, but what is an orgasm? I'm not gonna have sex till im married, but I really still just want to understand what it is... plus I dont want to acually start a topic about this cause it just wouldnt be good... if you could help out, that would be great. Thanks.
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replied January 10th, 2010
To all the ladies above (except Unfortunate Mishap...your situation is very different and I sure hope you prosecuted the guy) please take it from an almost 60 VERY young woman, you should stop focusing on "the end" relax into the moment. Literally, relaxing is key; your legs, your mind, your breathing. The body tighening, leg clinching, teeth gritting approach simply doesn't work, esp. when you are new to it. I was well into my 20's and married before I orgasimed via intercourse and it took me by surprise because I figured it wasn't ever going to happen so I stopped "trying." For those of you alone, use a low speed vibrator when you are completely relaxed and just get in tune with what feels good to YOU. We are all different; experiment w/or w/out a partner. Once last tip: during intercourse if you on the bottom, put your arms around your partner's neck (not his waist) because this gives you leverage to get him in just the right spot AND the ability to apply pressure on him so he is making better contact. Soft porn can be very arousing and oral sex can make it all happen when intercourse doesn't. Do not put too much emphasis directly on your clitoris as the surrounding areas can be more pleasurable and less sensitive. I wish you all the best;deep breath everyone!
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replied January 10th, 2010
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The doctor on this site said some women can orgasm vaginally, some by oral sex, some by masturbation, and a small few dont masturbate at all for some unknown reason.
I had a girlfriend who couldnt climax by masturbation, but can do it by running warm water in the tub over her clitoris. Some people have the big "O" with a removable shower head, which im planning on buying soon.
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replied February 5th, 2010
Please, don't feel alone. I am 22 and I have never orgamsed either. I have had 2 sexual partners in my life, including my husband. I feel like there is something wrong with me. I love the sex, but that's it. No climax, nothing. I have tried sex toys, stimulating jellies, oral, and nothing has worked. I really don;t have any advice for you. I am still hoping to find something that will help me too! Hang in there, hopefully you can get some good advice soon.
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replied February 8th, 2010
Especially eHealthy
HappyWife, what happens when you masturbate?

Masturbation is normally the way a woman will figure out her pleasure spots and what it takes to get her to orgasm.

When you do not orgasm from partner sex, it is normally just a technique problem. This is more common than you would ever think.

If you can not masturbate to orgasm it is a sign of a bigger problem, either physiological or psychological.

Take care!
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replied July 1st, 2010
I have never had an orgasm. i have had 4 different sexual partners in my life & so far no orgasm. i enjoy masterbation & i enjoy sex a lot actually. i have never had an orgasm during masterbation either. it bothers my boyfriend that he cant "get me" to have an orgasm. i tell him that i dont know why i cant but i enjoy it, so why does it matter. i also want to feel the expieriance of one. i feel left out. we try a lot of diff things to see if that will make me have one, but we have no luck. and neither do i when im solo. im starting to think i will never have one.
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replied January 10th, 2012
I feel the same way! My boyfriend is so puzzled to why i can't have an orgasm but its not him i love our sex but ive never even had one
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replied July 6th, 2010
You need to try oral sex. Try this while your mate is also fingering you. His finger should be about 3 inches in your vagina and he will be doing a come here motion with his index finger on the top of your vaginal wall. The 2 together will make any woman cum.
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replied October 13th, 2012
seriously? No this does not make any woman come... I'm 28 now, and never had an orgasme... And tried a bunch of stuff...
Do think it's a state of mind, partner and technique. Did come almost a couple times, but afraid to "give" myself fully...
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replied July 7th, 2010
Especially eHealthy
chellsiewellsie, It might sound strange but...... Are you shure you do not orgasm? Some women does not recognize their orgasm for what it is. Why else will you masturbate? And when/why do you stop masturbating?
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replied July 22nd, 2010
never had an orgasim
hey im 18. ive never had an orgasim ive been with my fiance for a long time i am very comferatable with him. But i was scared to tell him i never orgasimed so i was faking it ive finally told him but i told him there is nothing wrong with him its me whats wrong with me exatcly? ive tried masterbating and i cant get into it like i do when we have sex buut i dont know what to think about during sex i have adhd and im wondering if this is why i cant focus and my mind wonders PLEASE some one help me i just want to feel good and make him feel good about gettinng me off idk what to do any more its frustrating and affecting our relationship. HELP !
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replied September 18th, 2013
I have similar circumstances , I too am 18 and I have never had a orgasm . I had a steady partner who I was having sex with on a regular , and the sex was great. He was well endowed . We had oral sex, and even tried a 69 but never did I orgasm. I started to think something was maybe medically wrong with me . But now I see this is some what common for a woman not to orgasm. I've tried masturbation but I get no sensation at all from this . I don't know what to do .
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replied July 25th, 2010
Especially eHealthy
misssabreenalee92, If you never had an orgasm, you have what is called 'primary anorgasmia'. It is normally treated by teaching you to first orgasm while you masturbate. This is done because for most woman it takes some skill to orgasm with their partners. It is very difficult to achieve this when you cannot even make yourself orgasm. Techniques used to teach you how to orgasm through masturbation are called 'directed masturbation' and high degrees of success is achieved with this. Once you mastered that, techniques called 'assisted intercourse' and special positions are used to have an orgasm with your partner. While the degree of success with 'assisted intercourse' is high, it is not as high as 'directed masturbation'.

So what do you need to think about? You need to concentrate on the feelings and tension building and building in your body. You need to concentrate on keeping these tensions building. In a way it is like climbing a mountain - the orgasm mountain. As long as you keep on climbing, you are ok. When you reach the peak, you need to relax and experience the orgasm and fall over the top of the 'orgasm mountain' and down the other side. If you keep on concentrating and building tension after you reach the top of your 'orgasm mountain', you will loose the orgasm. It is thus important to be very aware of your sexual response cycle so that you can know when you are about to orgasm.

Best of luck!
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replied August 1st, 2010
Im Going to tell you how it is from my point of view. I've Only had sex with two guys in my life but i have sex around 2-5 times a day. I say its all about position, energy/stamina, and let's get frank..a nice sized penis! I personally cant orgasm by myself, i need my fiance at all times:) just work what your mama gave you, watch some porn do what you got to do but just enjoy urself as much as you can.
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replied November 21st, 2010
There is a doctor, can't recall his name, at Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center who was during research on women with chronic back pain or something similar. He had attached a couple of wires to his patient's nerves in her lower back and gradually turned up the electric stimulation. At one point she experienced an orgasm. when she finished, she looked at the doc and asked,'can you teach my husband how to do that?' His focus of research changed he received a grant to study this area of female orgasm--with great success. The story was also featured on TLC or Discovery a few yrs back. about 5 women were in the group from around the world and had great results.
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