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I've lost myself in our relationship

My husband and I have been together for about 3 years. In my eyes, it was a whirl wind relationship. Love at first sight. We moved in together and got married very quickly. I love him to death. The problem is.... I feel like I have lost myself in the relationship.
Before we got together I was a very independant woman. Had bought my own house when I was only 21. Had a bunch of friends and was very confident. I was going to school and just felt like I was on the right track in my life.
My husband has 2 kids from a previous marriage. It was hard adjusting to the step-mom role. Going from an empty house to a full house~~~ having all my days to myself to sharing them with 3 other people. He owns a business and I found myself being there every weekend. My un-set schedule was suddenly set. Mon-wed we have the kids Frid-Sun at his work. Plus working 40 hours a week myself.
Ive lost touch with some really great friends, hardly ever get to see my brother and his kids anymore (we used to be so close) I don't even know what I like anymore!!!
My husband is an amazing guy!!!! And I know if I told him how I felt he would understand and help any way he could. I just don't know what to say. I have gone out a few times with some friends over the years, and everytime we have gotten into a fight. SOmetimes my fault, sometimes his. It makes me feel like the fight after going out isn't worth me going out at all.

I guess what I am asking is. How do you take care of a family and not lose yourself in it?????????
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replied July 30th, 2008
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Why do we do this to ourselves? As soon as Mary Jones marries David Moore she becomes Mrs. David Moore. (Unless of course you are an American celebrity. Then Hillary marries Bill and they then become Hillbillies, or Brangelinas or Bennifers or whatever.)
It is just so easy to loose yourself in your responsibilities as a wife and/or mother and I completely understand where you are coming from. I’ve been there myself. The only answer is to set some time aside for yourself – a.k.a. me-time.
Unfortunately some sacrifices must be made when it comes to friends; otherwise you are going to spread yourself too thin, but it will be worth it in the long run. You will have a good relationship with your husband, your children and your friends.
But please note: you can’t take care of your family if you don’t take care of yourself. Take up an old hobby – or a new one for that matter. Start an exercise program or anything that will help you unwind and that you enjoy. It will put you back on the road to finding yourself.
Good luck, and keep us posted Robin.
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Users who thank Beline for this post: robin30 

replied July 31st, 2008
We actually had a little talk last night. I cried of course. He is such an amazing man that I hate ever saying anything negative. He was so sweet about it. Said "baby, why don't you go play tennis a night or two" He even offered to play with me..... which kind of defeats the purpose, but it was nice that he offered. He went on to tell me that he see's the change in me and understands why and how it happened. And now that we know about it....WE have to fix it.
Told ya he was amazing. : )

Beline~~~Thanks so much for you reply. It so nice to know that other people feel the same way I do. I thought I was going crazy!! I will let you know how the tennis works out..... haven't pick up a racket since high-school LOL
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replied July 31st, 2008
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Good luck on that one then! Lol! Keep us posted.
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