i tried to Eat for first time in months...

As some of u might know if you read my other Stories i tried to Eat for first time in months i like to say i did eat but i felt so !**@! after i ended up crying and being bloated n hell knows if i gained weight from eating :'( but i had nice time with my Dad.
The bad thing is it's triggerd my endos agian(chew and spit) and i feel so !**@! right now.. i chewed and spitted 2 choaclate bars (big ones)cookies sugar n more:'( i feel like crap ever since then ive had go to the loo 24.7 and its gross.im so bloated i feel fat and gross overall i just wanna hide in dark corner n die what happend to me..eating agian made me effed up my old routine was to get up have drink n dance now its get up chew spit hell loads cry and feel tired..grrr fml