well it is a long story...so i'll try to make it short...i'm a married women from 4 years 1 and half year ago i met someone in my work...here in my country we worry a lot about religion so this man was from a different religion than mine...anyway we talked a lot at first on phone at first we talked as friends i complained about my husband and he did about his wife....they are separated because in my country he can't get divorced while i can easily...any way i started making lies about my husband ....he seemed to him as if he was a monster....you may ask why i did this??may be i needed love may be i needed excitment may be i didn't love my husband i don't know really...any way he admitted that he love me and so did I...we agreed back then that i would ran away with him because we can't get married as i told because we are from different religions...i admit that i didn't intend to do that
so why did i told him so??i don't know also....
anyway after a while i tried to leave him,everytime i try to do so either he comes back to me or i go back to him...he is like an addiction...
we ofcourse arrived to the point that we slept together that was only after he told me he will marry me if i got divorced(which can be done easily) how??by changing his religion to mine which is a huge thing here in my country...
i also tried to leave him again but i also couldn't...ahhh i forget to say that i agreed with him that i no longer sleep with my husband (while i did) i lied to him and lied to my husband i cheated both of them...i told him that i no longer answers my husband phone calls while i did...i lied..i told him that i wear long sleeves in my home so that my husband wouldn't see anypart of me while ofcourse i didn't..the last lie when i was traveling with my husband i told him that i was traveling with my parents only..why i do all of this??why can't i just leave him?i don't know..then why can't i leave my husband and go to him and that is easy..i don't know...the last thing between me and him was that when i told my parents about him and that was a disaster for them because they saw my husband as a perfect man(and truly he is not bad at all) so they called the man i love and asked him to leave me and he promised he would and he actually did..after 2 months from the day he left me i called him and he answered me i told him that i still love him and he told me so but after 2 days i felt ashamed of my self and (my father told me that if i got divorced for any reason he wouldn't ever speak to me again) so i left him for the last time that was 3 weeks ago...now ofcourse i'm still addicted to him i really need him i think of nothing else but him...the option now is :
1-leave my husband and go back to him(that will make my parents never speak to me again and all my community will be ashamed of me) no one of my friends will ever speak to me again...no one from my family will speak to me again..i'll have no one but him
2-to try to forget him(and that's very difficult really)try to live with my husband (whom i can't bear right now)i can't bear even his touch to me (i really miss the other man)every time i try to sleep with my husband i remember him and how he used to touch me and what we did together
i'm really going san please any body help me...i can't live like that anymore
Well, I am not sure what country you are in or your religious affiliation, but I can tell you that what you have done is not right in the eyes of any country or religion. You need to stop living in the fantasy and start living your life. You can have a loving and exciting relationship with your husband, but you need to get the other man out of your life completely.
Why don't you put half the effort to making your marriage exciting as you put into this other relationship?
I agree with zcargirl...You need to focus on your marriage...when you took the vows you made a promise to love and respect your husband in sickness and health..so you need to make it work..if your parents think he is a good man for you then am sure he is so why did you create these lies about him to this other man?...if you are unhappy in the marriage then sit your husband down and tell him whats wrong and you might be able to work at it instead of running to another man..Jenny
I agree also, those feelings you have for that man will go away, try to focus on your husband because he is a good guy like you said.
if you go to that guy, who have a different religion than yours, you will loose everything and your not even sure it will work out. sometimes fantasies are better than reality.meaning you could go with him and be miserable and think about how you wish you were back with your husband.