I stay hard but can not cum

Welcome to e health forum.

Delayed ejaculation is a medical condition in which a male cannot ejaculate, either during intercourse or by manual stimulation with a partner. Ejaculation is when semen is released from the penis.

The issue in your case, would be due to your conditioning due to your masturbation. Every man has a technique to achieve orgasm via masturbation, and this is not the same feeling when you have intercourse.

Realize that you cannot force yourself to have a sexual response, just as you cannot force yourself to go to sleep or to perspire. The harder you try to have a certain sexual response, the harder it becomes to respond.

To reduce the pressure, absorb yourself in the pleasure of the moment. Do not worry about whether or when you will ejaculate. Your partner should create a relaxed atmosphere, and should not pressure you about whether or not you have ejaculated. The best way to handle this situation is to seek help from your partner and try techniques like mutual masturbation. When you achieve orgasm, when your partner masturbates you will help in removing any form of anxiety or frustration in your mind.

You might also consult with a sex therapist. Sex therapy usually includes both partners. The therapist will usually teach you about the sexual response, and how to communicate and guide your partner to provide the right stimulation.

I hope this helps.