just recently I was a normal rather happy teenager, but boom I'm suddenly incredibly depressed.
My hobbies no longer interest me. I have no friends.
Allow to me explain I realized how boring my life was. I spent nearly 1 or 2 years staring at a computer screen and that made me feel content for that period of time. My hobbies consisted of Either watching TV, Computer, or playing my Ps3. I was rather introverted, and seldom left my home. I realized this just recently and I have fallen into a terrible depression. I sometimes feel anxiety because nothing brings me pleasure, and the suicidal thoughts are creeping in to me. I am trying to rekindle some old friendships, and the thought of hanging out with a friend brings relief, but only temporarily. My interminable gloom never seems to stop, only broken by a few hours or perhaps minutes of calm but then the thoughts of my rather lonely life bring me down once more.
I have this deep fear of not being able to return to my former self. With the terrible thoughts that I have conceived in my mind I doubt I'll be able to.
The lifestyle you have been living is identical to a symptom of depression, isolating ourselves. You stay at home and watch tv and go on the internet and rarely go out.
And now you've found that you can't go out as you have lost touch with friends.
I can't diagnose your problem but I can say the very first thing you should be doing is going to see your local doctor and explain how you feel to him/her. Don't walk in and say "I'm depreessed" as they will believe you and write a prescription.
I am on meds for life and can't survive without them and I would strongly advise anyone seeing a doc first time about these issues to NOT immediately begin meds.
Before that happens a doctor should arrange blood tests and xrays to ensure there is no physical cause or any other illnesses evident. This is normal as it excludes many illnesses immediately and points in the right direction.
Most doctors DO NOT do this as they don't have the time when a presciption pad is at hand.
If it is depression then ask for a referral to a psychologist firsly as they can't prescribe, generally and then maybe a shrink who does all of it. They are a trained GP, a counsellor and an expert in mental problems.
I would always prefer a shrink to any other medical person if you have deep depression. You see talk therapy is ineffective if you are way down as you can only see black, no grey or white.
But I would always suggest firstly to see a psychologist as talk therapy is the only real way to cure these illnesses. None of the doctors can do that. What they do is help YOU find the answers and thus identify the problems in your life and allow you to decide on how to change them so your life can be what you want.
Taking meds will never cure most of uus as they are essentially headache like tablets. Temporary relief, not a cure. The answers are inside you and they will never be able to tell you what it is as it is your thoughts that create this.
It's up to you. Stay at home, do nothing and this will become worse and worse. Believe me you don't want to go where I've been, it's a living horror show. Just in my head too.