Abortion is not for everyone. But it is a choice that some would be very grateful to make. Especially those with deformed fetuses, those who are at risk of losing their own lives, those who never ever want children, those who are victims of rape/incest. It is not a choice anyone should make lightly but it is still a choice. And you do need to think through. But many women also never regret their abortions. Remember that. Everyone is different.

I'm very sorry that you made the wrong choice for yourself and now regret it. My sympathy goes with you. However, you are intelligent and self-aware enough to have made your OWN choice and if it was the wrong one for you, there is nobody to blame but yourself.

Women are capable of making their own decisions; especially pertaining to reproduction. I hope that you won't allow your own personal bad decisions to influence your belief that other women should have the same right that you had to abort an unwanted or dangerous pregnancy. The biggest hypocrites in this debate are women that didn't think about what they were doing and decide that other women should be robbed of their choice because they personally made the wrong one.

I hope you heal and I hope you understand that the rest of us aren't too fragile or ignorant to make OUR choice.

I'd also like to add that I know plenty of women who regret having children. They discovered too late that reproduction was their option, not their function. As a result, they tried to squeeze a size 8 foot into a size 6 shoe and now they are cramped, trapped and ultimately miserable. Most of them honestly love their children but there isn't a single one that doesn't resent them, their husbands and the society that told them that the epitome of being a woman is bearing children.

They've missed out on a lot of things they wanted to do and they try to hide their misery through claims that every stinky diaper was a joy to dispose of and every piercing screech is music to their ears. As a childfree person, these women often feel safe in telling me what they would never DARE tell other mothers or family. They aren't happy and they wish they had known they didn't HAVE to bear children to justify their existence. Now they are stuck and most of them, as I said, do love their children.

My mother confided in me that she never liked children and she only had them because she had to. That never meant she loved myself or my sibling any less, it simply meant that if she had been allowed the choices that my generation enjoys today, she might not have died so early and she might have had a better life.

Regardless of the fact that even in today's era a lot of women have kids just because they think they have no other choice, I would never advocate for women to have to leap through flaming hoops to give birth. I trust my fellow women to have the sense and will to make their own reproductive decisions, if they are at all able to. I know it's difficult with so much pressure on women. We're like tug-o-war ropes, being yanked back and forth.

I'm yanking my rope back and I don't care whose hands get skinned in the process. This is MY body and I don't care how many other women regretted having kids, not having kids, aborting, marrying or staying single...it has nothing at all to do with my personal choices. I feel sorry for them but if they try to outlaw my right to remain childfree because they think a woman can't be fulfilled without bearing children, all bets are off.

If you wish pregnancy on me, I'll wish a barren womb on you. That's what I told a Catholic friend of mine when she kept hinting that my hubby and I could "have an accident" after I told her we are never having kids. One woman's nightmare is another woman's dream, and so forth. While many women would be reduced to tears if they found out they were sterile, I'd be hopping with joy and buying champagne.

Please keep that in mind when discussing personal experiences and remember that you do not represent every woman out there. Some regret, some are relieved.

So you had an abortion. You don't have a baby. But you think everything would have been lovely and wonderful if you had a baby that you weren't ready for. All you get to think about is the Kodak moments, you aren't actually considering how your life might really have turned out.

I'm sorry you appear to regret your abortion, but this is not the forum for debating whether you made the right decision or not. The question is whether or not that choice should be available. Some women do regret their choice -- and that choice can also have been to NOT abort.

Some women atually regret their abortions. These women, just like the ones who regretted giving birth or were forced to stay pregnant or forced to have an abortion, have the right to come in here and talk about their experience. Her post proves that not all women are relieved after having abortions like some pro-choicers believe. So, it can be part of the debate.

And nowhere did I see her telling her what other women should do. She is letting women know that they need to make sure that is the decision they really want.

I don't recall anyone saying that ALL women are relieved after having abortions. Obviously it's the wrong choice for some women. Any pro-choice proponent is fully behind making an informed and intelligent, not a panicky, choice.

In what way does someone coming along and saying they regret having had an early, legal abortion contribute to this debate? Does it support the availability of choice, or does it support removing the choice?

Nowadays women have kids because they want to and not because they think they have no other choice. And the vast majority of women do want to have children no wonder why there are so many infertility clinics out there and women paying thousands and thousands to be able to have a baby. Even the homosexuals are now also paying thousands in surrogacy and IVF's to have babies too. Only very few people don't want to ever have children that's a fact. I have found that the reason when you hear someone saying they don't want to have children is just one and that is they haven't found the right person. I have seeing how they quickly change mind when they do find their love.

No, it shows that not all women are relieved after having an abortion. It also shows that women should make sure that is what they really want to do.

Would it be okay if a woman came in here regretting the fact that she had children because she felt she had no other choice?

You have got to be kidding me NA, as a feminist if I were to look at primitive countries if a woman doesn't have kids she is considered to be useless, woman are coerced or brought up on marriage and popping kids out since a young age. Think about playing with dolls etc, now I played with lego and Gi joes hahahaha.


Honestly I never wanted children, if I would have known how they affected my life I would go back in time and redo it, now with that being said I dont regret it because regret doesn't allow for one to move on with their life, which im doing.

Even my own mother regretted, well openly told me she didn't want any/anymore but felt she needed a big family and it makes you wonder why?

A question for you NA, would you give all your maternity leave to the father? why not?

I was young and foolish, had my daughter at 19 when I was going to school but I know that if I had stayed true to myself or if I ever met their father, I wouldn't have kids right now.

NA, you really need to get out more!
There are plenty of people, men and women, who have absolutely no desire to replicate themselves, and who can live and love without ever needing to pop out a mini-me. Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean they don't exist.

But back on topic -- most women who have abortions also have had, or later have, children.

Yes, many women who never wanted children also have had abortions -- but I wonder if (statistically) childfree women have fewer abortions than those who want children, since we might be that bit more careful not to get knocked up?

Spoken like a true "breeder brain". What is it about not wanting to gestate, birth or raise children that you can't get through your head? Some of us simply do NOT WANT CHILDREN. That is a fact that you're just going to have to accept. Telling us how we think or feel won't convince us to jump on the breeder train. Your attitude is precisely why the term "breeder" was invented. You're part of the group of disrespectful, condescending parents that refuse to believe that everyone out there isn't just like them.

For the record, I HAVE found my love. We've been married for eight years now and neither my husband nor I have ever felt the desire to reproduce. In fact, we make it a point to use preventative measures and we're both quite comfortable with the agreement that should an accident happen, I'll be on the phone arranging an abortion as soon as the stick turns pink.

How about a bit of turnabout, eh? You're only having a child because that's what you've been told to do as a woman. You don't really want to reproduce and as soon as you spend a few sleepless nights and have to change into another shirt because of baby-spew for the tenth time in one day, you'll change your mind.

Hey, if you think you can read my mind I know I can read yours and tell you what YOU really want.

As for the original poster, of course she's free to express her regrets. So long as she understands that her regrets don't mean the rest of us aren't capable of making our own decisions, it's all good. Too often I see women like her turn around and use their own poor choices as justification for denying the rest of us the same right they exercised, so I ALWAYS remind women like this that while it's sad that they made the wrong choice for themselves, it's important that all women have the autonomy to make their own choices as well.

Don't worry I wouldn't convince you to reproduce at all. It's great to see pro-choicers not multiplying! .

I have already had sleepless nights and have had spew on my shirt even more breast milk on my shirt. Changed many dirty diapers already. And no I wouldn't change my life back to a month ago when I did not had the child. How much this child enriches my life is beyond loosing my sleep. And the sleepless nights will change. That's only matter of time and training. What you care when you have a child is their well being.

HAHAHA sleepless night never go away dear NA, you just never know when to expect them after, from night terrors, to being sick, overstimulated and well the monsters under the bed, I think you made the wrong assumptions that they go away.



That is why there is so many children in foster care or kids that should be pulled otu and havent.

Does you hubby wake up at night to help you out?

Diamond raising a child it is not as bad as you paint it. If it was that bothersome population would stop but in the contrary people continue on breeding and breeding as you can see. I'm sorry you have a sad life.

And btw yes my husband helps me out. He wakes up night, change diapers, feed the baby and do everything and he is very skillful.

Actually my life is pretty good, what happened in the past happened and it only strenghtened my characther, so I dont have regrets in that sense.

What you are trying to paint is that kids are little angels, they may look but they are "EVIL" hahahaha!


People can breed all they want, doesn't mean they are good parents!!! There is good parents as much as they're bad ones and I can give you equal stories of "awesomeness lol" or horror stories but you seem to deny what is in front of you. Most cases of child abuse are left unnoticed!

Did you know you can still get pregnant even if you a horrible person?

Btw I'm happy your hubby helps, takes off some of the load!

Good point, di. Most children who are abused or murdered -- the parents are the culprits. So obviously having working reproductive organs doesn't automatically indicate a moral superiority.

The breeders of the world can shriek all they like about a woman aborting a 6 week old cluster of cells with less life, personality or right to existence as a gnat, but they don't often have much to say about the many children -- who do have consciousness, thoughts, personality and pain -- who very definitely suffer due to neglect and violence and abuse of their own parents.

And what should we say about those neglected children that we have not already said? Do you expect that we say to people to have more abortions so there is less neglected children?

Nope but if they know that they cannot cope with a child or do not have the resources available physically, emotionally or financially, I think they should give it up for adoption or have an abortion based on their choice.

I need to correct myself here....

If would have known what I know now I wouldn't have had children, I get rather frustrated "being a single parent" and somedays I feel like I dont want them and others I couldn't think of being away from them.

I got rather upset with my daughter, she punched the lil guy in the nose and he started bleeding and I started screaming at her but I felt horrible when I put her to bed because she gave me a hug and apologized. Its like a world of them almost making me break and then saying something that makes you feel horrible for feeling the way you do and sometimes I don't think im cut out for this mothering"parenting" BS.

I'm on the poverty line, like most single mothers, don't really have many people to rely on and life is hard beyond comparison, I struggle to make ends meet, emotionally I am exhausted, physically I am exhausted and between facebook, friends and ehealth it is my sanity lol. The relaxing for 5-20 mins while typing a message, just kind of phase out of the picture.


I think too many people exaggerate on the kid thing because what I see in front of me NA is a different world that you are not living but feel that all mothers should be happy, need I remind you that I have two kids and I know how much easier the newborn stage is than toddlers/school age.