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I need help - regarding bullimia

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Hi Im new here in the forum, i just found out that my girlfriend is bullimic, i mean I knew shes been putting her finger down her throat but it was not as often as recently. I really love her so much and i know her for a very long time, I just don't know what to do. It's even worst that we are in a long distance relationship, and it hurts me so badly that i am not there for her.

Im even more worried because she isn't feeling bad about putting her finger down her throat, we would be video calling than she walks off forawhile came back and than told me she was puking, and she was smiling all the while. Im not usually the person who shows alot of emotions/feeling, but I find myself questioning alot of things, things i do not like and probably untrue, especially trust. I really love her alot i do, but i don't know how to cope with it. I need someone to tell me what to do in this situation.

Her family doesn't know it, only me and it's becoming bad lately, and i do want her to stop. I know its a psychological thing, and i try my best to keep my hopes up and be normal as usual when im talking to her, pretending that its going to be alright, but im really hurting quite bad inside.

Im torn between trying to advice her to stop but on one hand i don't want to sound like im encouraging her to do it. Im sorry if it sounds kinda vague, but i feel very distraught right now. I told her i will always be there for her, and i really mean it from the bottom of my heart, but i get very demoralized and im trying not to let it affect me but im afraid im slowly losing it. Please help me
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replied March 11th, 2011
From my experience it wont fix itself I hoped it would for 6 years before I made my wife go to treatment. It would get better then worse then really bad. She would stay home some days and binge and purge 10-15 times. I would try to encourage my wife to stop but it wont happen unless they are ready to do something different, and my wife still isnt there. I wish I had a silver lining but so far we are far from a success story. Im not trying to scare you but having a relationship is work but having one with someone with an eating disorder and self image issues is so much harder. In my opinion your not hurting her by letting her family know. This in reality is a life and death matter.
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Users who thank billy970 for this post: CarolineEF  CarolineEF 

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replied March 11th, 2011
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Hi billy970...I just gave you two thank you's on that post...I meant one, but it was good enough for two...You are correct in what you say...There is no silver lining to this problem...Along the line comes heart murmurs, teeth rotting, acid reflux, and a string of other things....It is not easy to overcome, but it can be done...It takes determination and getting so mad at yourself that you must succeed...I wish there was a magic pill that I could give people, but I can't....In reality, it's like living in hell...

Try to help your wife...She can't help herself until she admits to her problem...I wish you well...Take care...

Caroline
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