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I'm ugly, lonely and depressed (Page 2)

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August 13th, 2009
Most people tell me I'm pretty, but I once did a realistic painting of myself that everyone looked at and said, OMG that's ugly, you don't look like that, and yet that is how I really saw myself when I looked in the mirror. It was highly realistic, but apparently I see my features as meaner than everyone else. I had more jowls, smaller eyes, etc in the picture, and did look kinds scary now that I looked at it again years later.
See how you can have a perception issue like I did?

This may not be the best place to start, but remember that there are always people who are worse off than you. I haven't seen a lot of ugly people in my lifetime. Usually ppl who others tell me about and say: "wait ti'll you see her she's so ugly!" is usually just average in my opinion.
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replied September 19th, 2009
Hey mrlonely : )

I know a lot of people have already said this but you're not alone, I too fell the same way as you. I have struggled with Body Dysmorphic Disorder since I was thirteen years old (i'm now 19), and it's hell. I don't even feel like a normal person sometimes, it's like i can actually feel the flaws on my body, without even touching them, might sound weird to most people but I don't know any other way to describe it. Like you, I have been called ugly more than once,even though it was a long time ago when i was a kid, that kinda stuff stays with you Sad The funny thing is, without meaning to sound conceited (which I am definately not, trust me) I do actually receive a lot of compliments, I have been told I could model by more than one person and when i go out (when I'm not hiding in my house :Agoraphobia) i actually sometimes do get attention from guys, and they're not bad looking either (like your pretty girlfriend) Thing is, I still don't belive it (like you). When I was a toddler,I was in an accident involving a mirror and now have a few scars on the right side of my face (forehead, nose, upper lip) and this coontributed a lot to how i feel. I am told most people do'nt notice them, but I do Sad . I am currently in therapy and completely understand how embarrassing it is telling someone about this problem, but i really urge you to do so, therapists do not judge, (something i find comforting as you can really be honest with them) I have also taken zoloft on and off since '05 and it's pretty good. Sorry for the long post, but your story really hit home with me, i really do hope you think about therapy, it really can work! Smile all the best lovely
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replied September 27th, 2009
I'm not professing to know a damn thing. I suffer from similar problems. Lonely and depressed. I am fat. My face is ok.
As far as attaining women is concerned. Yes they are material and superficial, it is their design. Pick the best to make the next.
A study was done. I guess artists and musicians get more attention than athletes from ladies. Something to think about. Go the creative intellectual route (work on your body always though, no one likes fat, well some do. I'm not waiting around to find those few) My best friend is kind of funny looking in the face, but he is very fit, plus he is very outgoing and confident and a good musician. He does just fine with the ladies. Me I have what's been said to be a great face, but my body is lacking. You don't have to change yourself, just upgrade, work on the what you have.
Don't focus too much on people and needing them. Try to be more self sufficient in yourself esteem. People defiantly make the world brighter especially if you surround yourself with good folks, but just like any addiction or crutch they can have their draw backs. Don't need anyone. Simply Enjoy there company. That seems to be the hard part. No one like to hang around a downer. Don't use people to uplift you. Uplift yourself and share it with others. You might get a better result.

The only thing I have to say is the way you feel about yourself is important. As in art and life their is a balance in form and structure so I cant say that everything is beautiful, their is a structural right and wrong. Some things just look wrong. But like in art and humanity you can defy rules you can defy nature. Some people love ugly art. You will generally be harder on yourself than others will be. Some fat people imagine themselves 20 inches larger than they actually are. You can trick your mind into believing alot. That you ugly. Or are you handsome. All in the eyes of the beholder I guess
I have been told I am handsome but I am fat, man boob status, but I have been able to win over women with my personality, some very beautiful. They were most kind, even say I love you at times, but things wouldn't last long and I know its just the way I looked.
I loved a woman and she was a very deep thinker like myself, we would spend hours talking and enjoying each others company. I remember the last thing the woman I love more than anything I have ever known said to me before she left. "Their is much to be said for the surface" So far I have lost 20 pounds. Not much but its a start.
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replied November 14th, 2009
theres a reason for every single thing in this world...
if indeed you are ugly and lonely... your goal in life is to search some truth mysteries of life...why things happen in such ... others leading seemingly charmed life do not have time to search the truth..... you have a gift
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replied November 18th, 2009
Well man, i must say like others on this post this truly hit my problem right on the nose. Ive been called handsome, beautfiul, blah blah blah all my life up until i reach my sophmore year in highschool. That's when all hell broke loose in my life. I got burned all across my left eye area and it looks absolutely horrible. The crappy thing is of course there is almost nothing i can do about it. Now people look the other way when I walk down the hall and make attempts to talk to me looking only at the right side of my face xD. I found out first hand the truth in this world. THE most important thing in life if you want to be happy is to have a good appearance. It's the foundation for every other kind of happiness. I have read other post on how some people "think" they are ugly and even may be (physically). My thing with that is simply. "I bet your face doesn't look anywhere CLOSE to being as horrible as mine." Still however, I truck on and find happiness in all aspects of life and laugh at the people who jerk their heads in the other direction when they see the left side of my face. Im not religous anymore as ive lost all faith in their being a god at this point, so im not going to say all the mean people will "pay" or "get theirs" all im going to say is remain strong and peacful and dont let the flesh dictate your life. Beauth truly is only skin deep..literally. You take the most attractive person in the world and burn their face and suddenly their one of the most hideous. Your value is in your mind not in your face. Hope that helps man coming from someone who truly knows how you feel in every way.
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replied November 18th, 2009
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Wolone wrote:
Well man, i must say like others on this post this truly hit my problem right on the nose. Ive been called handsome, beautfiul, blah blah blah all my life up until i reach my sophmore year in highschool. That's when all hell broke loose in my life. I got burned all across my left eye area and it looks absolutely horrible. The crappy thing is of course there is almost nothing i can do about it. Now people look the other way when I walk down the hall and make attempts to talk to me looking only at the right side of my face xD. I found out first hand the truth in this world. THE most important thing in life if you want to be happy is to have a good appearance. It's the foundation for every other kind of happiness. I have read other post on how some people "think" they are ugly and even may be (physically). My thing with that is simply. "I bet your face doesn't look anywhere CLOSE to being as horrible as mine." Still however, I truck on and find happiness in all aspects of life and laugh at the people who jerk their heads in the other direction when they see the left side of my face. Im not religous anymore as ive lost all faith in their being a god at this point, so im not going to say all the mean people will "pay" or "get theirs" all im going to say is remain strong and peacful and dont let the flesh dictate your life. Beauth truly is only skin deep..literally. You take the most attractive person in the world and burn their face and suddenly their one of the most hideous. Your value is in your mind not in your face. Hope that helps man coming from someone who truly knows how you feel in every way.


I bet you're not ugly either, if they are looking the other way, it's probably because they don't want to make you feel like they are looking at your burn, i know i would'nt look at it, only because i would'nt want you to feel bad.
But i truly love a woman with a scare on their face, i think it adds to their baeuty in some cases.
So maybe if someone is stairing at you, it could be because they find you atractive, so don't be so hard on yourself.
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replied December 13th, 2009
Hey man.. maybe you are just depressed and its not helping your self esteem and image. There is nothing wrong with going to the doctor and getting a mild antidepressant. I know it sounds tough, I was so against it when I was struggling, but after taking my meds, I was able to get some chemicals right in my brain and my whole world starting looking different. I dont know if you are, but dont rule out that possibility. Depression is a sickness just like any other illness, and it can be treated. There is a social bias against it for some reason. But trust me, I never really thought I was depressed, but after talking to the doctor, he really was able to help me. Its nerve racking at first, but Let me tell you the results are amazing and I was kicking myself for not going in earlier. According to them, most people have a little chemical imbalance, but are too proud to help deal with it.
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replied March 11th, 2010
Well I feel the same way about my looks but i'm still wanting life.

I've had people constantly message me saying I was ugly, however I did send somethings back, maybe it wasn't the best idea as they kept sending ruder and ruder messages but I was at least able to say how I felt even if it wasn't face to face.

At school they were too scared to saying anything properly so they would look at me and give me the evils but i just ignored them. Anyway back to you,

Parents sometimes don't listen and sometimes it hard to get their attention but do you really want a parent to be saying your great and hot, when you really feel that your not? It would seem like their words were meaningless and feel as though they were trying too hard to make you happy.

So here's some advice:

Talk to a councilor or get a councilor to speak with your parents if you can't express your feelings to your parents. How about sitting in on the discussions aswell so your parents can hear what you want to say and the councilor can give all of you good advice. It's better to try than to bottle things up.

Good luck Very Happy.
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replied March 11th, 2010
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Noway! if they were sending you rude messages calling you ugly, then they were doing that because they know you're a very attractive girl, and they were just jealous.

I know it sounds stupid, but it's true, people really do things like that, especially girls, when they feel threatened by a prettier girl.
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replied May 28th, 2010
Been there, felt like that. Now that I'm middle aged I've learned a few things. If you take care of yourself; keep your hair washed, your clothes neat, keep your teeth brushed, get enough sleep and eat a healthy diet you will feel better about yourself and that will be reflected in the way you "carry" yourself. Having confidence in yourself goes a long way to improving how others see you. It really is a cycle.
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replied May 29th, 2010
There are really moments in our life that we feel low and lonely...and yes, ugly and fat. But happiness is a choice. The comments here are, indeed, true. Surround yourself with people who are optimistic and see the world as a bright place to be. Their happiness and optimism might be contagious. And keep smiling...a charming smiling face is pretty enough. Smile
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replied June 1st, 2010
Experienced User
I'm sure everyone here who thinks the are ugly are indeed gorgeous, you just can't see it for yourselves.
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replied July 9th, 2010
Re: I'm ugly, lonely and depressed
i just realised im ugly too and im trying to find a way to live with it but i i have pretty friends and it hard for me to keep positive my friends know im ugly but wont tell me which hurts my feelings so much
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replied July 9th, 2010
Re: I'm ugly, lonely and depressed
julesxox wrote:
i just realised im ugly too and im trying to find a way to live with it but i i have pretty friends and it hard for me to keep positive my friends know im ugly but wont tell me which hurts my feelings so much
my friends tell me im pretty but i know its not true first i thought i hat BDD but i dont im just ugly and its taken me 15 years to realise. i look horrible in pictures - big nose head shape is diformed and eye are soo small lips are huge i look like an ugly boy but i have to live with it.
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replied July 10th, 2010
When you are put down, ignored and emotionally abused, negative emotions physically build in the body in the form of magnetically charged energy where they become suppressed and turn stagnant, causing a feeling of being dead inside. Each and every emotion lowers serotonin production among other happiness chemicals. As soon as these emotions are brought to the surface and resolved, you start to come alive again and brain chemicals like serotonin dramatically increase. I understand this process inside and out as I have fully cured myself of extreme depression and anxiety. I am available to teach you how to do that if you are interested. I can promise, human to human, that if you begin this process you will awaken and regain the happiness and imagination you once had in childhood.. The happiness gained is beyond what you could imagine.. I promise.. This is the final cure to 95% of cases of depression and anxiety..
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replied July 20th, 2010
dear WarrenB can give me some clue how to cure that, Thanks, i facing same problem where i scared to meet people after feeling so lonely.
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replied August 5th, 2010
At least you have a girlfriend I've never even gotten any attention from guys unless it's to tell me how ugly I am I just turned 18 years old and I've never been kissed I don't even think that I want to go to my prom because I will be there alone. My point is that I would rather be in your position than my own
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replied December 12th, 2010
look at all these replys to you calling yourself ugly everybody in the world feel or felt the same way you did before or now some are still struggling but in the end ugly eventually transforms into beautiful Smile
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replied November 24th, 2011
to mrlonely
mrlonely

I was once in your shoes. I felt that chain around my neck all through out High school.
Let me tell you this. These, Lets call them, self absorbed children, are them selves full of self esteem issues. They say bad thing to you because they feel bad about them selves. I know in no way is that an excuse for there behavior.

When they say what they said to me, It made me felt like a second class citizen. I felt like I was worthless. Let me tell you that, is the furthest from the truth.

Ill tell you a little of my story.
Just like you I had people come to my face and tell me that your was so ugly, why dont you just kill your self. Believe me I thought of it a few times, but there was no way I could do it. Depression was a way of life for years, and trust me it felt like I was loosing myself a little every day. I never dated in High School do to my insecurities. I had friends, but I didn't want to go to parties wit them or go anywhere social with them because of the ridicule I would get, Then they would want to defend me. That itself is another story.

Let me say after I graduated From High School things started changing. People started treating me much Differently. In college all the so called cool people weren't so cool any more. At this point I started to excel in college and my body and facial features started to change. I started getting much more attention from women. Of course I still had my self esteem issues so I wouldn't peruse to ladies. Then it happened I looked in the mirror one day and saw a much different person. I felt good about myself. I was a late bloomer per say. I did work out every day I did work on my studies a lot maybe to much at times. With this new found attitude I went to my first real college party. Let me tell you how intimidating it was. There were so much people there. I felt like I wanted to leave right then and there. So I walk in and find my friends, and we start having a great time. Well about an hour into the party I see the so called cool people from my old High School. They were still all hanging out with each other. I heard them talk about all the people they made fun of, keep in mind I was just feet away from. Them as they were blabbing all of there so called wisdom. One of the guys of course said my name, witch brought back all those feeling again. Then it happened. One of the girls looked my way. Her expression told the hole story. She stared at me, all I could do is just smile back and turned away. I herd her say OMG thats him. At that point I felt a thousand eyes on my neck just burning. Then I herd three little words that changed my life for ever. "he's so hot". ya I know that sounds super fissile but I had never been told that. Well I did find a very beautiful your lady at the party and we talked for hours. This was the fist time I felt comfortable in my own skin.

Now do to my hard work in school and keeping myself fit I own my business and I'm a personal trainer. I have no issue with ladies any more and my confidence level is through the roof.

Just remember we are developing every day. Some develop slowly like me and you. But its up to you to embrace who you are. You are the one to make that change. you are the one that needs to reach higher. Yes it will be harder for us but the pay off is so worth it.

So to you my advise is don't sweat the small stuff. I know what they say hurts, but the tide will turn. It will be your turn to shine. Yes there's was in there youth, but think of it yours will be while your an adult. Trust me its much better when your an adult.

Do your best in school. Keep in shape. Keep your heart in the right place, that is probably the most important things to do

I feel like I'm rambling now. Good luck, it will get better......
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replied January 30th, 2012
i feel the same way you do i am 20 i've been bullied for 20 yrs. even 5 year olds make fun of me i never get invited to parties or weddings! the guy i like says im beautiful. i sometimes think how can i be beautiful to some one as handsome as him. but i do know one thing every one here has same experience an they will be your friends. we people need to stick together we also have special power hardly any pretty person gets and that is compassion
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