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I'm ugly, lonely and depressed (Page 1)

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From what I've been told the recent 3-4 years is that I'm either really ugly or borderline average. I am always being called ugly for no apparent reason. I could be walking down the hall and a kid would just say to me "hey your ugly". This amazes me of how mean people could be but hey i guess that's life. I'm always worried about how i look, someone calling me ugly or being turned down because I'm not cute. When i tell my parents about this problem they just tell me I'm being stupid, but me on the other-hand am constantly depressed and have a lack of self esteem. I do currently have a girlfriend who is very pretty and tells me that I look handsome,cute and sexy and all of that stuff. However it doesnt feel like it and I often feel like shes ashamed of me :[[. On top of the feeling of being ugly i am very lonely. I've lost almost all of my friends now and my little brother gives me constant reminders of this. My family gives hints that they don't want me, m girlfriend is probably ashamed of me and i'm ugly. What can i do to feel better?

Any help is very much appreciated
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First Helper mrlonely
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replied December 30th, 2008
Experienced User
Well first of all mrlonely, I just wanna point out that your parents are being ignorant asses. My mom's mother always had her infamous saying "oh, don't be silly" at everything that was bothering her. Somehow some parents are stupid enough to believe that if they tell you you're feelings aren't valid, you'll suddenly believe it's true and everything is fine.

I obviously can't say if you are actually ugly, seeing as I've never seen you, but I'm pretty sure that you have an exagerated view of how bad it actually is. Lets face it, almost all of us (Myself especially included) pick apart the smallest flaws on ourselves and blow them out of proportion.

Something you'll learn when you get out of highschool is that teenagers can be the biggest A-holes. I don't know what's wrong with them, I don't know why their pathetic underdeveloped brains can only derive self-esteem by being pricks, but people like you and I are a cut above the rest in this respect; having a faster-developing brain that can distinguish logical course of actions from instinctive mechanisms of security by demeaning others for no reason.
It guess it doesn't help that we're not allowed to punish kids in school now either.


Anyway, I've prattled on long enough. I just wanna say that, as I learned at the age of 19, when you get to college everybody's mindstate totally changes. Actually it changes a lot for the better at grade 11, but by college it's really great; people don't act like ignorant jerks toward each other just for the kicks, and they're usually really understanding. I was bullied horribly throughout my highschool years and through many schools, but I never had a single person act like that to me in college.


btw, I think you should talk to school counselor, seeing as you're parents seem to be a little impaired in the empathy department.
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Users who thank mike9856746 for this post: mrlonely 

replied January 1st, 2009
well...
I have tried the counselor but I don't have the courage to bring attention to my looks to a stranger. When a person like myself is truly ugly we try to keep attention away from this idea, bringing up the fact that I'm ugly to my counselor would be extremely embarrassing and make me uncomfortable. Thank you for the ideas and help though :]
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replied January 1st, 2009
Ugliness is BS
All right, why not embrace the fact that you are ugly. If you look at some of our movie stars you can certainly find a few who are less than pretty. You are not ugly. You have an exotic beauty that takes a special person to see past folks who are concieved as pretty or handsome. You probably have an interesting face. What we call beauty might be determined as a balanced face. If you put a mirror up to half of your face you will see that faces are not simetrical or they are the same on both sides. If you were to have a totally balanced face you'd look retarded. You have a face that has a special character. I'm willing to bet if you were to apply for modeling jobs you'd eventually get hired because you have an interesting face. Maybe you need to own up to that face and carry yourself like you are the the cat's pajama's. You are worth it.
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Users who thank ruffyy for this post: mrlonely 

replied January 1st, 2009
thankk you
thank you for the help ruffy :]]
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replied January 1st, 2009
Advanced Support Team
if you focus on your smallness you will continue to shrink, and if you focus on an ideal that is greater than you - you will grow.

you already got the girl, so be grateful for the people you have in your life. find things to enjoy and savor them - you will find that others around you enjoy your presence. forget about your identity as the ugly guy completely and attack your goals in life with a passion.
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Users who thank danielv for this post: PS39 

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replied January 1st, 2009
Advanced Support Team
by the way, every family has issues... we've all been told that we'd be dumped in the dumpster either by our family or our friends. hey- nobody is perfect. the only thing we can do is to rise above the imperfections within us and those around us.
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replied January 1st, 2009
I used to be horribly bullied through my primary and high school and grew hating myself aswell. I sometimes have days where I think I am so ugly that I cant even go out the door, and sometimes I have days where I feel so sexy.

Personally, through my life, I learnt that telling your parents about your problems is the LAST thing you should do. They never help and only bring you down.

Do you perhaps play and instrument? Draw? Craft? Own in online games? If so, than why dont u embrace your abilities! People will see that you have talent and won't notice your appearance anymore.

I cant really judge you since I dont know how you look like but know that everyone has a unique special side of them. Maybe your girlfriend see's it and you fail to see it urself. Love isnt just being the hottest coolest guy in school. Your girlfriend just wants you to be happier and seeing you complain about your appearance she tries to proove you wrong.

if you still think that she is ashamed of you, get down talking about and be completely honest with each other.

If all else fails. Seek a therapist, I know its a complete stranger but you wont feel easy about yourself until you get all of your feelings out.

Goodluck!! ^^
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replied January 25th, 2009
hi
pray to dog
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replied February 21st, 2009
?
You mean god? lol
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replied March 1st, 2009
smile
well i dont know much.. but you family sounds kinda uncaring.. and hey when someone loves you they love you for who you are not how you look, and learn to love and accept everything about you. i dont think your girlfriend is ashamed.
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replied March 18th, 2009
:[
I'm pretty sure she is ashamed because she started talkingg to other guys while we were dating that look much better then I do. So i had to end it and i'm close to wanting to end my life.. I see no hope or purpose behind me being here :[

I keep looking for a light to shine through and make things better but it never comes.

There is no dawn to my darkness
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replied May 12th, 2009
surgery
Perhaps consider plastic surgery. People might hate me for suggesting it, but it can boost your confidence. Our modern society is shallow, and you are judged by your outward appearance all the time. You may as well have every edge you can get.
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replied May 20th, 2009
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some parents brush off their kids b/c they dont know how to respond. i dont this at times.
when someone insults you, you have the option to be offended, to not let it get to you. you could say something back 'you dont look that good yourself' or something to that effect.
depression usually puts negative thoughts in your head. if your g/f is ashamed of you, then why is she with you. did you put a gun to her head. if your depressed then you can bring people down around you, and some people dont like that. or you could push people away with your depression.
why are you listening to your little pesky brother. stop being so overly concerned with what people have to say.
i was called gorgeous and ugly. i am beautiful.
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replied June 19th, 2009
I know this doesn't really help you. But I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story. The things you say sound exactly how I feel and it is comforting to know I'm not the only one. It's an inner peace that just seems to be missing.
I really hope you've managed to find some light in the darkness.
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replied June 21st, 2009
First of all,

Like many people have stated, there's alot of ugly celebrities. I saw a picture of the goddess Eva Longoria without makeup and she looked awful. Alot of people find ways to mask up their imperfections.

However, I do not suggest you even do that at all. If you consider yourself ugly or borderline average then focus on considering yourself borderline average. Borderline Average is still average so that means you're....average.

If your parents and your girlfriends are giving you suspicions that they do not want you then you do not want them. Obviously your parents are very ignorant and lack empathy and if your suspicious of your girlfriend being ashamed of you, your first step is to have a heart to heart conversation with her about it. If she gives you a simlilar ignorant response then just leave her, she may be pretty and may be trying to cheer you up but if she isn't genuinely happy with you then both you and your girlfriend should not have to deal with that kind of relationship.

Finally, you should always remember beauty is skin deep. Focus on improving your inside and you'll forget all about how you look. Smart people look nerdy and sometimes are made fun of because they don't wear designer clothes or have strange glasses or bad acne, but they don't care because they're smart and happy. Find a circle of friends that care about who you are, then when you pass by no-one will say,"Look at that ugly kid," simply because you won't be walking alone, you'll have a unit of your best friends around you.

Hope this helps
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replied June 21st, 2009
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koolkat61 wrote:



If your parents and your girlfriends are giving you suspicions that they do not want you then you do not want them. Obviously your parents are very ignorant and lack empathy and if your suspicious of your girlfriend being ashamed of you, your first step is to have a heart to heart conversation with her about it. If she gives you a simlilar ignorant response then just leave her, she may be pretty and may be trying to cheer you up but if she isn't genuinely happy with you then both you and your girlfriend should not have to deal with that kind of relationship.
Hope this helps


no it doesnt help! your advice is negative, a downer. i cant believe you would say that to him about his parents. being a parent myself, sometimes parents down know how to handle certain situations. that doesnt mean they dont love him. he's parents is his biggest fan.
secondly, being depressed you see everything negative. he alone, dont feel good about himself, his girlfriend is the one that is telling him how attractive he is. but since other people calls him ugly it seems like his girlfriends words are meaningless.
he alone has to work on his selfesteem.
the only good advice you gave him is for him to be surrounded by positive circle of friends.

i had someone tell me i'm ugly, "plane jane", and i was called beautiful. but when someone calls you ugly you looking for someone to stroke your eagle for you to feel better.
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replied July 28th, 2009
im sure its not as bad as you think and i know how you feel everyone tells me im beautiful and stuff but just because one person told me i was a wanna be and i was ugly it ruined everything for a long time i hardly even went out because i thought i was ugy and now is when i fianlly relaized how stupid i was i focused on all the bad instead of the good its easier to belive the bad than the good so im sure your doing what i did so stop listening to those stupid teenagers just like i did and listen to good things as for your parents if you keep saying your ugly there bound to get tired of giving you a huge speech saying that your handsome so dont blame them and your family always wants you no matter what and as for the little brother i have one too if everyone says you look thin he tells me i look fat its just there way of keeping you unconcied lol he is just being mean to be a little brother thats what they do make your life harder
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replied August 4th, 2009
problem
well i dont have actually a answer, but i'll tell you this. You are not the only one, i am ugly too, got bullied of it. never had a girlfriend and the only girl i love is one of my best friends and she doenst want to walk next to me in public
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replied August 11th, 2009
Experienced User
Or maybe others at school call you ugly because they're jelious of you, and maybe they want your girlfriend as well, it happens.
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Users who thank Dark for this post: Arizonax3 
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