Hi to all that will read,

I'm 35 and alone. Never married, no children and no friends. I have been going every day with out a phone call from anyone to get together for the past 15 years. The only calls that I get are from bill collectors. The reason for the bill collectors you may ask. I frequent asian massage parlors because they seem to be the only women interested in having any form of intimate relationships with me. Yes, I have to pay to have a some one care about me and it's for only an hour. Then it's back out into the world of neglect.

I seem to have an uncanny nack for alienating people. Co-workers aren't interested in talking to me. They aren't interested in hanging out with me and they aren't interested in working with me. Women aren't interested in me either. A good example is that I've been out with 5 different people from work that all seem outgoing and like to have fun. All have shunned me and I do not hear from them at all, even at work. If I should be so lucky as to get married, I don't have anyone to be my best man. I don't have anyone that will even attend other than my small family....I won't have any friends there because I don't have any friends.

I've been told that, and I quote, I "have the most boring personality of anyone I have ever met". I've literally been told that I'm stupid, meek, mild, annoying and a push over. I think it all goes to the point that I don't want to rock the boat because I want people to like me. I try to be nice and pleasent. I'm not funny at all and I know that's how you win friends. Screw what Dale Carnegie tells you, it's freakin' bogus. I say stupid things and do stupid things, that I don't know why I do. Afterwards I realize how stupid I was to say or do those things.

At any rate, I'm just ranting in frustration and I think that I've accepted that I will be alone. I just wish I had friends. Even though I've accepted it, I don't like it and I can't force people to like me....it's just the way it is.