I am trying to keep it together as I write this. But its so hard.
I'm 18 year old male, I feel like no one cares about me outside my family, I've never had a girlfriend or event kissed a girl before, and its absolutely devastating, IDK why I cant do this I just sit in the mirror and ask myself "what is wrong with me?". It is killing me, i'm so alone in this world. I cant event talk to my psychologist about this because I feel so stupid that this is the cause of all my problems. I feel like anything I try to do just ends in failure. And it makes me event more sad to think that the only one I have to talk to is a god damn annonymous forum I found on google. oh god... I need help.
First of all, I want you to read over what you wrote. You said you are 18. You have never had a girlfriend. You feel like no one outside of your family cares about you. Now it may be easy to look at those things as a negative. But you can also think about them this way:
You are only 18!! You have SO much time to find a girlfriend. Trust me, many relationships before that age are basically pointless anyways and do more harm than good (I'm only a year older than you and I can testify to that!). You have your whole life ahead of you to find someone. Everybody's different that way; my oldest sister married her high school sweetheart at 20, my other sister only dated one guy (who ended up dying in a drunk driving incident) until she met her now-husband around the age of 29 and I've never seen her so happy. I'm kind of in the middle of the two spectrums so that probably doesn't help you any but you get my point. Everyone runs on their own little "love clock" if you will.
Second, you said you've never had a girlfriend. Again, there's time for you man! Who cares if you haven't dated or kissed yet. A lot of guys and girls have at our age but that doesn't mean it has to be that way for everyone. I have a guy friend who has never dated until he was in college and he is one of the most attractive guys I know, and an awesome person. I also have a girl friend who has never dated (for religious reasons) and she's a beautiful person, inside and out, as well. So don't think you're the only person that hasn't.
Lastly, you said no one cares about you outside of your family and you're alone in this world. Well, you say yourself your family cares and I'm sure your psychologist cares. Don't feel like you're alone in FEELING alone either, because a lot of people (you can see from this forum even) share those feelings.
but, just wanted you to know that people care. I have no idea who you are and you don't know who I am, but I was saddened in reading your message all the same, because I want you to know people DO care and you are not alone! Keep me posted.
thank you payton22, it really means a lot to me.
I suffer from depression and anxiety and have had suicidal thoughts in the past. I say outside of my family only because, the real reason I haven't killed my self yet is because I know my dear mother would be absolutely devastated. I have had an absolutely horrid time in highschool and i think the stress of my situation combined with our upcoming senior prom is getting to me. I also hate the idea of going to collage next year so unexperienced, and panic at the thought of it.
It might be a good idea to mention depression to your Dr or medical adviser.I know this sounds like a suck azz answer but they're possibly can be a medical explanation. Such as being hypothyroid for example. One of the effects of that is depression. Do you have any hobbies? Hobbies can be full filling and keep your mind off things. Such as photography (my hobby). Also remember at your age hormones are a whacked out thing right now. And that alone is enough to make life difficult in all aspects. This decade the preferred method is to take a pill to fix it. So Drs prescribe anti depressants. I personally do not like to see any one on such meds due to risks and side effects. Their is an herb...St Johns Wort.. over the counter that can be taken for depression.Also keep me posted alot. Id love to hear more from you ! Rickie
Ah yes... high school. Well. I graduated two years ago now (thank GOODNESS) and I must say, PLEASE don't base your assessment of yourself or life in general off of high school experiences. I had a relatively smooth high school experience on some aspects (I was pretty involved in sports and music stuff and grades weren't bad) but home life was rough at times and dating relationships were pretty stressful. (my ex was diagnosed with leukemia like 5 months after we started dating!) But once you graduate you realize how trivial so many of the seemingly life-and-death things truly were.
I have many friends that had absolutely terrible experiences in high school and some friends who made awful decisions during that time as well. I have friends who had bad experiences and turned out all right, and some who didn't. I know people who had a GREAT high school experience (by high school standards) and ended up super messed up people. It's one of the most potentially awful or potentially splendid experiences but neither of those gaurantee an awful or splendid rest of your life. And the people who say high school or college are the best four or eight years of your lives ... are just not aware of how many problems come with high school.
So pleeeeaaase, PLEASE trust me when I say that whatever happened to you in high school by no means needs to dictate what the rest of your life is like. And again, people truly care about you. Let me know how prom goes if you decide to go. Remember, it's just a dance ... and in 10 years the popular people probably won't be any more successful than the unpopular ones.
oh yeah, and about college. Everybody freaks out about it even if they don't say they are. The search for a college isn't the easiest, most stress-free experience you'll ever have ... but it's a part of life that a lot of people go through. I actually am transferring to a different school next year so I'm in the old applying-searching process again ... ugh. But wherever you end up going, think of it as a clean slate where you can shake off the experiences of high school you'd rather not remember.
oops, I did forget to say that I am truly sorry to hear you had a horrible high school experience. I wish you didn't have to go through that but, it can also make you into a stronger individual. Opposition and hardships always have that potential.
I kinda know how you feel, I've felt so lost and alone for a couple of years now. It's seems like the world is moving all around me, I'm stood still and everyone has forgotten me. I don't really know what to say, Ive never talked about it. I wish I could find some direction in my life some hope. I wish you all the best and promise one day it will get better you seem like a lovely guy, life will pick up for you. If you need to just shout or cry I'll listen.
dont be afraid to go to college unexperienced! trust me, not all girls like a guy with a ton of baggage..(i definitely dont)..any girl thats worth it will love being your first..its good to wait until youre ready for that commitment anyway...i didn't get into a serious relationship until after I turned 19..i had gone on dates and such in the past but never really had "the boyfriend" in high school..I dont regret it at all looking back...i saw the b.s. and drama my girlfriends dealt with with their boyfriends and wasn't really interested in it at the time haha...dont rush yourself and dont get down on yourself...take advantage of college its a GREAT way to sort of start over and meet new people! keep youre head up, and smile bc you never know whos lookin and that smile might catch that eye of your potential gf to be
I didn't kiss a girl till I was 23. I had sex the first time when I was 20 and that was to a prostitute. Even though I paid for it, having done it was a huge monkey off my back. Have sex with a prostitute just to get that issue resolved. I've since been with 'real girls' but paying for my first time was one of the smartest things I could have done. Good luck to you.
There are different people in the world that experience different things, that is what makes the world turn. Not everyone can do the same thing at the same time. I too was a late bloomer and the next door neighboro has a daughter think she is in her 40's and still lives with her mother. Sometimes you have just have to stay positive and be proactive. I told this to my coworker who is in the same situation you are in. Don't beat yourself about it, do something about it. Join a gym, social club, or found my true love on the internet dating website. There are soo many avenues for you to be looking. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, get out of the house. If you stay cooped up in the house those thoughts just get worse, get out get some fresh air and give us humans a chance... yeah some of us are not the most pleasant but as you can see with these posts that there are a lot of people out there that do care..... lots of luck and I know you will get through this
I Kinda Understand What You Peoples Mean I Made A lot Of Mistakes About A Year Ago And Now Im In 11th Grade And Its Suppost To Be The Party Year The Year Of My LIFE But Its Not Cause All Those Mistakes Caught Up With Me And Now Everyone Hates Me And This All Is Happening Now That I Am Trying To Better Myself So Now Im Affraid To Walk In The Halls At School Im Affraid To Walk Down My Own Street....Im Affraid To Breath The Wrong Way I Dont Know What To Do ! I Feel Alone And Like There Is Noone Who Cares I Need Some Advice Please !
i can relate to your story i am so alone aswell i had friends but they all left me they all got on with there life and left me like i was never there. i tried so hard to stay in touch with them but that made no diffrence my family is the same they never cared about me i fell so terrible every day when i go 2 bed. at first i thought it was my fault i thought maybe there is some thing wrong with me that make people not like been around me i still dont know . i was never good with girls either and still isnt. i hope some one in world will ever understand how i fell and how lonely iam and help me iam scared of being alone. by the way this is the first time i expreced my feeling 2 any body and some how i found some thing new that i wasnt the only person felling this way
by the way iam only 18