I'm 18 She's 13, does that make me a pervert? (Page 1)
I feel disgusted thinking about the age gap between us, I know I love her but if I tell her I might get in trouble or be attacked for my interest in a younger girl.
I feel pathetic why am I like this? is there some sort of drug to remove the feeling?
I feel pathetic why am I like this? is there some sort of drug to remove the feeling?
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First Helper SallyCares
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Yes, this is corrupting a minor and a felony my country. This is a massively unhealthy relationship for you both. At 18 you really need to be dating people much closer to your age like 18-20.
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I don't know anything about this situation, but it's not right. There is no way to justify these feelings. You HAVE to ignore them. It is wrong for any adult to have these feelings for a child. I should know the effects of having someone too old taking the wrong kind of interest in a child. My father molested me repeatedly and I'm only at the age of 14. He RAPED a 12 year old when he was 20, and that, my friend, is not right. Don't get yourself involved in this nonsense.
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You need to stay far far far away from this girl. It is way unhealthy to be involved with her. Her brain isn't even close to being fully developed yet. She is a child. I don't care how mature she acts or how much of a woman she looks like. She is not one! Doing this is way to much risk. You said you love her, if that is at all true you wouldn't want her to be in a relationship that is damaging or detrimental to her. Also think about this, would you want your 13 year old sister or your future 13 year old daughter to date an 18 year old man?
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Funny...even though it sounds wrong, it may not feel wrong for the girl....it's wierd. My girlfreind was around 14 and she was dating college kids and she didn't screw them, but didn't think anything about it. She didn't feel they were creepy until now....20+ years later. So there is a bit of a dobule standard....some girls 12-17 like older guys and they know they can get them if they are hot enough.... give the girls more credit. I always liked girls my own age....so it wasn't a problem for me though...
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More credit for what?
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Credit for being seductive...hello.... they aren''t all so innocent. Bunch of lolitas running around....hard to stop the madness. You think it''s easy to stay away...it''s not....even though it''s the smart thing to do.
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its still wrong, and he should not act on it
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No, some girls are in love with love...They see it and it is their natural instinct to become aroused...They have no idea whatsoever of what this sexual agression is doing to an older male... IMO, it is up to the male image to let this fault in nature pass....I think we all had it and most grew out of it, but it is the few that persist in thinking that they are all grown up, that can become the casualities of war....My advice to the older boy or man...Give them about 5 years and then come back....You have no idea of how much hell you raise with the parent of this child...Take care...
Caroline
Caroline
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Users who thank CarolineEF for this post:
alphaproject
alphaproject
Innocence isn't really much of a casualty in this process as in a few years any girl or boy stops being innocent on their own. We use that term because of tradition but what most people are concerned about is the psychological trauma that a young person can suffer from what really is abuse, even when sex is not involved, from dating someone significantly older. There is a tremendous imbalance of power in those relationships that even with the best of intentions results in an abusive situation. Young girls may have the power and desire to be seductive but it doesn't mean they have the tools to process what follows.
Innocence isn't really much of a casualty in this process as in a few years any girl or boy stops being innocent on their own. We use that term because of tradition but what most people are concerned about is the psychological trauma that a young person can suffer from what really is abuse, even when sex is not involved, from dating someone significantly older. There is a tremendous imbalance of power in those relationships that even with the best of intentions results in an abusive situation. Young girls may have the power and desire to be seductive but it doesn't mean they have the tools to process what follows.
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I agree.... but there''s always gonna be "those" exceptional kids that think they are know it alls. The older guys should know better.... but the younger girls shouldn''t tempt them either...it''s a 2 way street. Women mature faster than men earlier.
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No two apples are the same but those exceptional girls find out that they have remarkable coping skills when they're in their late 30's and are sufferring no unhealthy relationship or sex habbits. Every 13 year old girl thinks she can handle going out with an older guy, most are wrong. Every adult should know better than to roll the dice with someone's life. It's just immoral for an adult to date a child.
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| alphaproject wrote: |
| I agree.... but there''s always gonna be "those" exceptional kids that think they are know it alls. The older guys should know better.... but the younger girls shouldn''t tempt them either...it''s a 2 way street. Women mature faster than men earlier. |
Younger girls shouldn't tempt them is the part of the paragraph that's most concerning. That's like saying a rape victim shouldn't have crossed the street in front of a rapist thus tempting them. Young girls only understand that they are starting to see boys as cute and coodieless. They generally have no idea why and what to do with those ideals. For the most part, a 12, 13 and even 14 year old girl only understand that the jeans they are wearing are A) what everyone else is wearing and B) oh so cute! and really aren't trying to attract the opposite sex, regardless of what the opposite sex thinks they are trying to achieve. They aren't wearing those perfect fitting jeans to attract you. Same for the makeup or the low cut shirt or anything else.
Mentally, they are just starting to figure out they might like the opposite sex but really have no clue how or what to do deal with those feelings and an adult (yes, 18 is considered and adult) has no business reacting/acting outwardly to those little girls.
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I have to interject here. Where is her mother? Where is her father? Though you can put the similarity so someone being raped, this child needs guidance from an adult family member first of all. And I don't think that's true, these young girls know the jeans they are wearing are skin tight and the guys are looking, hence that's why they wear them. I know this is an old post, but I had to put my 2 cents.
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hell no
| alphaproject wrote: |
| Credit for being seductive...hello.... they aren''t all so innocent. Bunch of lolitas running around....hard to stop the madness. You think it''s easy to stay away...it''s not....even though it''s the smart thing to do. |
Look those young girls MIGHT not be innocent but truth be told their naive.
And how can you say "it's hard". If you're a grown man, when you see a 13 year old child messing around with older guys, you're mindset should be to tell her lil behing that she's acting a bit too fast for her age not having the urge in your mind to do something with her.
Just like you said about your 14 year old girlfriend who used to date older guys but now she's grown and she looks back like that was yuck. Well that's because, just like I said, when they're young, they're naive!
So sir I believe young girls shouldnt get any credit for being uninnocent or seductive, they need a butt whippin'! A young girl should be in school, or be interested in BOYS their age. Not an 18 year old or older.
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I'd say stay away from her. This is coming from girl who know what those girls are like.
I've had many friends who went with older guys like that but they, like someone else said, are "only in love with the idea of being loved or being in love".
She'll get older and eventually find another guy that's her own age. If anything she likes a guy at school where you're not around.
Going out with an older guy is a really good bragging right.
Sorry if I'm implying something you might not want to hear but know that she's a 13 year old and still hasn't lived the extra 5 years you have to know what love really is.
I've had many friends who went with older guys like that but they, like someone else said, are "only in love with the idea of being loved or being in love".
She'll get older and eventually find another guy that's her own age. If anything she likes a guy at school where you're not around.
Going out with an older guy is a really good bragging right.
Sorry if I'm implying something you might not want to hear but know that she's a 13 year old and still hasn't lived the extra 5 years you have to know what love really is.
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| CarolineEF wrote: |
| No, some girls are in love with love...They see it and it is their natural instinct to become aroused...They have no idea whatsoever of what this sexual agression is doing to an older male... IMO, it is up to the male image to let this fault in nature pass....I think we all had it and most grew out of it, but it is the few that persist in thinking that they are all grown up, that can become the casualities of war....My advice to the older boy or man...Give them about 5 years and then come back....You have no idea of how much hell you raise with the parent of this child...Take care...
Caroline |
I agree with you.
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I think this is unhealthy relationship between both of you.Age gap between both of you is main factor.you should tell about your age to your girlfriend.
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I'm 13 and I think that your relationship is totally wrong! That's like me dating my brothers 19 year old friends it's gross. Girls my age can be very seductive trust me I know. And they are very evil and they're liars if you do anything with them they are most likely going to tell someone and it will get back to they're parents and you will go to jail. My boyfriend is 15 and I'm 13 and we've been together for 3 yeas and we're waiting for me to turn 18 to do anything serious or even see if we have the same feeling. Teen girls have stupid emotions and we don't even know what we want sometimes wait 5 years and see what hppens.
~Best Of Luck *kami*
~Best Of Luck *kami*
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hey, im a 14 year old girl and the guy i love (who loves me back) is going to turn 18 in less than a month. our paretns hate us for it. but he has not tried anything on me and he wont either. the age gap is a problem but we really love each other and it makes it all better. no, that dioesnt make u a pervert. or a pedophile. perverts do nothing but look up gilrs skirts and grab theior boobs all day long and pedophiles are old, forever alone men who get sexually aroused by girls that are like 8 or more years younger than them. and the ppl that are saying you become a man when youre 18 are dumb. youre still a teenager when youre 18. and im sure that 13 year old that you care about so much has the capability of being mature enough for you. i mean, i had 18 year old friends when i was 11 and they all thought i was 17 or something b/c of how mature i acted. love is love. go with what your heart says. (:
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and btw: not all girls want to be sexually seductive. kay thanks!! a lot of us actualy dont want anything like that but a lot of gilrs are totall witches and you need to be careful of girls like them. and no, there is nothing that can help you get over your feelings for this girl. sorry, but thats not the way love works. it leaves when it wants to. but distancing yourselves from one another can help to release the emotions you have for one another. hope i helped! God bless!
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This page was last updated on Jun 18, 2013.
© 2010 eHealthForum.com