I'm not kidding,I want to die!

Steve... so sorry you are feeling this way, my heart goes out to you right now. I hope that you will be encouraged to know that there is help available. I work at Focus on the Family, a nonprofit organization, and there are counselors that will speak with you over the phone for free (http://bit.ly/Hw0eb8). Also, the USA National Suicide Hotline operates toll-free, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Just call 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK. I am praying for you, Steve, may you find hope and peace in your life. God bless you!

Hey Steve, I hope I'm not too late and please accept my apologies for the late response.

Let me say that whatever you are going through suicide isn't the answer. It's never the answer and it never ever will be the answer!!

I don't doubt that you have it very difficult and I can't sympathise with what you are going through but that doesn't mean that I and others around you don't care about you. You need to firstly speak to friends, family and if you are religious you local parishioner (Christian) and alternate equivalents for other religions (my apologies if this appears disrespectful, I'm unfortunately ignorant in other religions although one day I hope not to be). These people will care about what you are going through even if they don't on a face level seem like it.

Learn to enjoy life for what's it worth. Whether it be for simple things such as the beauty of nature or good music. Relax and fill your life with things you enjoy.

Give to others! Volunteer for services in your community such as in food shelters for homeless people. The more you give to others the better you feel about yourself, because you are making a positive difference to other people. This defintely doesn't make your life worthless! Personally I'd say it makes you a hero.

Try and better yourself too, i.e. get a nice haircut, get a saloon quality shampoo that suits your hair, eat healthy, exercise to improve fitness and physique. Being more active will improve your wellbeing, i.e. be it jogging (use a treadmill if you are too shy to jog in public like me) or nice relaxing long walks in the park.

A good relationship is also a way to be happy. Work on your appearance and visit social venues to find a nice partner. (Sorry I can't be of much help here lol!)

(I apologise if I'm assuming too many things such as you being without a partner. I'm definitely not trying to be rude or disrespectful, just simply trying to cover all angles so please forgive me if I unintentionally offended you!!)

Focus on work and being a better employee. If you are struggling for employment, start small such as in fast food chain restaurants or department stores. These might not seem appealing but they give you valuable employment skills such as communication and organisation. They are fundamental for the workforce.

And never stop being a good person. Regardless of how hard or easy you have it, you can always strive to be a good person. It's better to die impoverished, alone and frail whilst having lived your life as a good person because material assets disappear on death but the positive impacts we have on others will always hold a special place in time.